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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

his ex is a third wheel...?

My boyfriend and his ex are friends and at times she randomly shows up at his house to hang out with us. I know they have history together and ended on good terms and all.how can i let him know that his "buddy buddy" relationship bothers me?

13 Answers

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  • lex
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    you have to gage whether or not their friendship is actually real and not just ex,s hanging out,,you should of course take priority but friendship is a tough thing to come between,,if their friendship is indeed real and is a healthy one without any flirting,making you feel left out,,putting more importance on how happy she is then you are going to have to live with it ,,,otherwise you could be the jealous girlfriend who doesnt survive as long as their friendly relationship,,this friendship could be a keeper and their dating something they both acknowledge was a mistake and they were never meant to be together in that way,,it happens.be his girlfriend and try to be friends with her too,he will want that if she is going nowhere,dont allow your insecurities to be at the front of all you and they do,,if they wanted to date surely they would.you have to accept he has no reason to lie to you about her and unless she constantly demands his sole attention while you are there you havent much to complain to him over.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I think it's completely understandable that it bothers you that he and his ex are still friends and that they still see each other often. I would be uncomfortable as well. Here's the thing.. let him know how you feel; not that you're angry but that you understand that he's still good friends w/ her and that that's fine. But having her show up randomly at his house, and her being a third wheel when the 2 of you go out, is a bit too much. Make it more like you're just a bit disappointed not b/c you don't like her, or that you are jealous, but that you would like to spend some more time w/ him 1 on 1, rather than having her around. Or suggest to her that she bring a date out the next time you are all around.. But overall, if he really cares about you he will respect how you feel about this 3rd wheel thing and take action. I'm not saying he should get rid of her, but that its just too much the way it is now. She clearly needs to get a life and make new friends.. She should understand that her friendship w/ him will be a bit compromised b/c he's now in a relationship w/ you. If she's a good friend, she would back off a bit also.

    Hope this helps

    Source(s): I was very good friends w. this guy for about 10 yrs.. still am.. Well he's seeing someone now and has been for the past year and a half, and we just don't see each other much anymore b/c of this. I completely understand this and am happy for him. I also have a life and other friends and am dating someone now also.
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  • 1 decade ago

    Speaking from a point of view where I am VERY CLOSE to my X's and they are some of MY BEST FRIENDS.... I wouldnt tell him anything. Id try VERY HARD to get over this. For example... My best friend Roy started dating this girl named Brooke. I thought she was cool, and a few months in she started giving him grief for being friends with me when we use to date.... He dumped her about 3 weeks later because... FRIENDS ARE FOREVER, Girlfriends and boyfriends come and go. Why not try to be friends with her too? Good luck

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  • 1 decade ago

    Telling him is not really going to help you and how you feel. You will start wondering if she comes over when your not around. Just do things with your man that only you to can do, and she will either get the picture or just stop coming around like you intended in the first place. good luck

    Source(s): past experience
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  • 1 decade ago

    When she shows up, leave. When he asks why, say

    "three's a crowd." Then, like someone else on here said, ask him if he's cool with you hanging out with an ex. If he says yeah, do it and see if he really is. I think not!

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  • 1 decade ago

    that could lead to a serious problem my ex used to talk to his ex didnt bother me well that is until they slept together. keep a watchful eye on them

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  • 1 decade ago

    flip the role on him. ask him if one of your ex's can come over to hang out and see how he feels. i'm sure he won't like it at all.

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  • 1 decade ago

    In the Tricycle of Luv!!!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Tell him that is too much room for error

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    tell him, by the way ever think their still sleeping together, they probably are. get the fact.

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