promotion image of download ymail app
Promoted

Is she crazy or am I?

I fell in love w her and asked her to marry me (both of us 23, college stdnts). A couple of times she said she didn't know she loves me or not even though she literally colapsed when I told her I loved her.A hundred times she has told me that she doesn't really trust me, that I am too good to be true bec I haven't done anyone, dont look up and down girls, and basically am not a pig. She says she is afraid that it is only the begining and that it'll turn bad in the future. I doesn't help that we are different races and her parents keep re-enforcing that we will have problems.btw dad is abusing and emotionally unavalabe esp to the mom, but she keeps saying he is a nice guy. He has even hit the mom and her.tells me that my love 4 her is so extraordinary she finds it hard to believe. She is killing me. Is she crazy, or am I. She says I'm more than she ever wanted, so then what the freak?

11 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    First of all, neither of you two are crazy. It sounds like your girlfriend has personal issues with her family, their dysfunctional interactions, and the consequences of these interactions on HER. For someone brought up in an abusive family, it often is difficult for him/her to know who THEY are INDIVIDUALLY; they are so used to being defined by ideas imposed on them by the dysfunctional people around them. When someone like YOU comes into that person's life, it is very difficult for the confused person to trust that YOU also won't let her down~~~~since her parents have not been able to instill that trust that children base their self worth on, it stands to reason that she would have much difficulty trusting YOU(even if you were the most wonderful person in the world.) It's NOT about YOU! Encourage your girlfriend to find a counselor so that she can begin to unravel some of her feelings....maybe a minister, social worker,or local mental health facility. Be supportive of her, but don't smother her......sounds like you're a fine young man!! Good luck!!

    Source(s): I have been a Certified Psychiatric and Mental Health Nurse for 25 yrs.
    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    She grew up in a dysfunctional home, like most of us did. So she doesn't know how to handle a functional relationship, cuz she has never seen one. I had the same type of problem in a relationship once. I was the same age as you two at the time, and I just wasn't ready for a functional healthy relationship. She has to learn how, becuz she has no experience with it. You will be beating your head against the wall for a very long time. Good Luck! I'm 34 and still trying to figure out how to live a healthy life. Parental abuse takes years to get over!!!

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    In this world today there are so many stories of bad relationships that a good one is hard to believe. It seems that she just need a little more time so just be patient and don't rush into anything.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    love is such a beautiful thing in this world. see in love there comes a lot of problems , ego between each other, false promises and sayings. but still love is wonderfull.

    Try to take your girl friend to a place ( a calm place ) and tell your problem in open and solve your disputes between each other, and onething friend,

    When you start loving , you forget your parents. but donot forget your love after your marriage.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    She is scared. And probably will put you through an emotional rollercoaster the rest of your life. Better to find out if you are ready to deal with it the rest of your life.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    neither of you are crazy. but, with her abusive father, she may have a hard time believing that a man can truly be good (and stay good) to her. sounds like you two need to be patient w/ each other.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i think shes scared its too good to be true give it some time as for you..you guys are too young and things are happening too fast you should wait till later to propose btw:what race is she?

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • susu
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    shes dumb, she should be thankful someone like u came along, either leave her, or just make her understand that its for real,

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    give her time.....perhaps with time she will learn to trust...good luck

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Joe
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I think you should marry her

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.