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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

Whats happenning to my marriage?

My husband says he has not lust towards me! Are we in a relationship with no chemistry? he love me and is supportive but does not seem like he is attracted towards me in any manner. I am always sad looking at how other women get all the attention from thier husbands! He admits to the fact that he has no lvst towards me! Whats happening

Update:

We hv been married two years now and I have gained some weight since last 6 months

30 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You gotta turn up the heat...spice it up, suprise him, strip, lose some weight, let other guys hit on you, so that he can see that other guys find you attractive and he gets a little jealous and wants you more than before. You have become mundane and routine (nothing against you, but sometimes people just become comfortable in relationships.) You gotta switch the game up a little bit. Try something new.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Looks are not always what determines attraction. It is how a person makes you FEEL that attracts us most. Yes, looks do play a part, so here are some suggestions.

    Gaining some weight can make you feel unattractive and not sexy. If losing the weight is a goal down the road, then fine. But, you have to live your life to the fullest right now. Go buy a few new pieces of clothing to add to your wardrobe,or go get your hair or nails done. Little things like that can make a world of difference in how you feel.

    Watch "What not to Wear" or "Ten Years Younger" on TLC. They can make any sized woman look great in the right cut and design of clothes. It has helped me tremendously when trying to hide a few pounds.

    Try doing something special once in a while for your husband. You could rent his favorite movie and make his favorite meal on a Tuesday night, just to suprise him and add something different to an ordinary rut that we all can fall into.

    When you feel good and make the other person feel good, in turn they will value you more. Hope this is helpful!

    Sheri http://findadvicehere.com

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  • 1 decade ago

    Go to the gym and buy some sexy clothes and do it for you, so that you feel better about the way you look. And if he still has no lust for you then you need to move on and let him find the person that he lusts for and loves, I am not saying that he does not love you but there has to be some romance, lust and love, just try some romance surprise him with candle lit dinner and a sensual bath a massage or what ever you can think of to put him in the mood and make him lust after you. Good Luck

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  • 1 decade ago

    People change, bodies change, and because of this the one absolute certainty about marriage is that the person you married is not the person you will spend the rest of your life with. If your husband was in lust with you when you first met, and is not now, you have a right to know why. If it is something you can change, and want to, like your weight, then good luck. If it is something else, and the reasons could be many. Is there a chance that he is gay and married you to hide that fact? Could he have a lover somewhere that is satisfying him? Does he look at you as the future mother of his children and therefore something not to be played with? Is he hiding an impotence problem that he doesn't want to admit or discuss? These are all possibilities and by bringing up each one to him, bringing up the fact that each one has entered your mind as being a possibility, he will be forced to discuss his situation with you as no man wants his wife to walk around thinking he is an impotent gay man.

    Be brave, bring these possibilities up to him, and then be open to his resonses and don't judge him.

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  • 1 decade ago

    He does love you, he has developed that unconditional childlike love towards you. Sorry to tell you but true love removes some lust. You need to spice things up a lil bit. Am sure since he loves you he will be extremely pleased and will find your acts totally cute. He will be head on heals over you again ;). Also lose some weight what you've gained. Am sure you'll change everything with these little efforts! You need to fascinate your hubby a bit if your looking for that excitement in your relationship!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Dont look to yourself first. That is a common mistake women make. If you have talked to him about it ask when this occured when the lust was lost. But I would think you needed more than lust to get married unless you only got married for the sex.

    You need to make sure you are happy withyourself first. Dont just assume the weight is why. Unless YOU dont like the weight because your dissatisfaction will project on to others. No man should love his wife less because of gained or lost weight. Try to talk to him about it. You cant play those games in marriage like try to make him jealous, but if he is no longer in love you have to accept that it is HIS lost and he will only regret leaving the woman who loved him later. Good Luck

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  • 1 decade ago

    Please dont feel down at all. Sometime I feel like when a man says that it could be another woman. I'm not sure in your case. Change your habit. When he tries to put you down keep a smile on your face. You must love self before you can love anyone else. What he dont like or lust another man wil treasure. Since he wants to make you feel unwanted and love I would do the same. Maybe he'll think what's going on with her, is there another and etc.. Sometimes it work and sometimes it dont but If i were you I would have to leave that relationship because mental abuse his worse than physical abuse.

    Source(s): Please start loving your self before you can love anyone else.
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  • 1 decade ago

    You probably just answered your own question sweetie...and you probably know what the answer is. Maybe he is not so attracted to you sexually because of your weight gain. It happens. People cannot help how they feel, and he is probably turned off by your weight, but still loves you I am sure. Maybe you two can sit down and have a serious chat. You can go for long walks together...work out together..do some physical things together to help you lose weight...the sexual feelings he had for you will come back...good luck...

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well, since the only thing you can control is yourself... ask yourself this: why have you put on weight? Are you eating emotionally?

    It may be time to take a good, hard look at yourself and figure out what's going on.

    I personally believe that everyone has the responsibility to stay in as good a shape physically as they can. Now, I'm not talking about health issues, or things beyond your control.

    But, my bet is that if you start feeling better about yourself, he'll be back sooner than you can say, "Pilates."

    Good luck. You can do it!!! (and you're doing it for YOU)

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  • 1 decade ago

    Alot of times when women get married they tend to let themselves go and not take care of themselves anymore. They gain weight, don't do their hair, no makeup, and walk around in tshirts and sweats. They get comfortable with the thought they already got their man so what do they need to do all this crap for. But, the man will find himself less attracted to you because you are not the same as when you got him. He does not love you less but the passion is dying. It is not too late though. Girl, you got him once you can get him again. Start exercising and dieting, not for him, but for yourself. Make yourself look good for YOU! Your self esteem will increase and you will start to look good and feel good. Dress up for him even if you are not going anywhere. Buy something sexy even if you are overweight. Rekindle that passion, set the mood and seduce him. Do not wait for him to be in the mood. You are not alone in this situation. Alot of us women (and men too) fall into the daily routine relationship so to speak. Take the initiative to bring it back to life. You will feel better and so will he. Good Luck

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