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How to not loose friends!..?

Over the past year I have had a hard time dealing with the loss of my mom. Im usually a very very social person ( think Carey from Sex & The City) but I have shut people out and I dont show up to events that Im invited to. most of my friends think Im just very busy. I want to get connected to them again and involved in thier lives, but I dont want to explain what I have been going through. Most of my friends have been around at least 10 years and I know they will understand but I dont want to rehash my year of struggle. Also how do I make new friends in my new city?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I would think that your friend's will just be happy that you are hanging out with them again and actually they probably know that you've gone through alot with the loss of your Mother. You don't have to explain yourself just act as if though nothing has changed with you and your friend's which it hasn't other then you feeling bad for not spending time with them but that's natural when grieving. Don't be so hard on yourself. I don't even know that counseling is necessary. You went through a traumatic experience and you are going through a different stage now. You can generalize if you choose to and say something lie "I've thrown myself into my work or my house you know with my Mom passing away and stuff." It is also natural for your friend's to ask you if your o.k. and how you're doing. That's what friend's do. Don't worry so much. Again your experience is probably one of the most trying times any of us will ever have to go through and your entitled to deal with it however you deem fitting. Just remember that being around people sometimes is healthier then being by yourself and it sounds like your ready to be around people. Good for you. I'm sure your Mother would be proud of you. Your friend's will be too! '-) When it come's to making new friend's that will just ahppen naturally as you venture out to begin socializing again. You will meet new people. You sound like a great person as you already have many friendships that you've substained for over ten years. You'll be fine! Get out there and have some fun! You deserve it! '-)

    Source(s): Experience from losing someone and doing the same thing you did.
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  • 1 decade ago

    Sorry to hear about your loss, it is very painful to lose a loved one especially a parent. It sounds to me, like you were very close to your Mother and the lose has been very, very hard on you. What You have been going through this past year is a normal process of mourning, and you owe no one any explanation for your withdrawal from society. It was OK to withdraw at that time in your life. A true friend should and will understand. You are now ready to come back to society. That is good for it shows you are healing and life goes on. Find some friends at work or start off socializing with a family member or very close friend that knows what you have gone through and will not judge you or push you beyond what you can handle at this time. Also, think about Volunteering some of your time, to a Nursing home, Old-age Home, Daycare or anywhere else where you can do some good. This will help you as much as you help them. Your love and compassion for your Mom can be put to use in helping others in society especially the elderly. You will also meet some wonderful people and make new friends.

    Your friends should have been more supportive of you, but do not hold it against them. If they are good friends and ask you, without rehashing your year's struggle and pain, and with few words as possible be truthful with them about what you have gone through in the past year, but once again you do not owe them or anyone else any explanation, just be yourself.. Good Luck.

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  • 1 decade ago

    If they are good friends, you won't have to rehash your year of struggle. Just tell them you needed time to grieve and let it go at that. You are normally very, very social and since you are ready to jump back into the world, you will have no problem making friends in your new city.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    confused here, are you in a new city, or still living amoungst old friends, to have friends you must be a friend and if you are a friend would you not want them to share with you the pain and hardship,,,,to understand and lend a hand,,,so reach out to your friends,,,let them in to know the real you,,good luck,,and find areas of interest and pursue them, there you will find people you are compatible with, also volunteer your time,,

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Just get out- do things, see things, be around others. It will help you discover new friends AND help ease the pain of your loss. By the way, if you need someone to talk to, who has been where you are, let me know. im1friend@yahoo.com

    Source(s): Been there, done that. Conquered it all. Now I'm here to help others who are where I was.
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  • 4 years ago

    human beings strengthen up and alter,this is a fact of existence and there is no longer lots you're able to do approximately it. I genuinely does no longer get depressed approximately it. whilst i replaced into 15,an analogous factor got here approximately to me. i began out to pass away into yet another team of friends as my old friends began to reject me. they did no longer like the guy who i replaced into,even nonetheless i replaced into lots happier and that they even have been given incredibly spiteful. So I carried on doing what i replaced into doing with the aid of fact it made me chuffed and so did my new friends,so I left them to regardless of they wanted to do and that i did my factor. do in simple terms no longer evaluate it a brilliant loss,friends come and pass,fantastically in school so attempt to no longer hassle approximately it lots. i'm hoping issues artwork out for you. good success and maximum suitable needs for the destiny x

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    yes, do reconnect. If you dont want to share don't, but eventually someone is going to ask "How's your mom" and then what? Join a civic group or some community group to help you make friends.

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  • 1 decade ago

    well just b urself watever u do...do nnot try being something ur not...trust me,it wWILL lead to drama..just b ur self and find the best friend that really match u it will b a worthwhill experience....TRUST ME<333

    Source(s): LOS OF TROUBLES WIT FRIENDZ
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  • 1 decade ago

    well you dont need to explain anything and i think they will be happy to see you againg have fun the life is to short to wasted.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Counseling works wonders, my friend. It can really help you.

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