Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

I'm 17 and want to move out. Neither of my parents want me living with them, but neither wil let me go...?

I'm 17 years old and my parents are divorced. My mom has had two affairs so far and has been married three times. She's also an alcoholic but has been able to remain sober for a couple years now. My previous step-father lived with us for 3 years (until she had her second affair...) and he was also an alcoholic and addicted to cocaine. He brought this stuff into our house numerous times. Later, I moved in with my dad and things were ok for awhile. Now, things are getting bad again... He drinks all of the time and keeps weed in our house. He's constantly gone and I'm taking care of myself anyhow. He yells at me all of the time and tells me that I'm "worthless, pathetic, disappointing, he never wanted me, just like my mother, and can only spread my legs for people". I've run away from home and know he's looking for me. I need help though. I can't go back. What rights do I have on this one?!

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    One thing you can do is to contact social services and ask to be named an emancipated minor. If you are close to 18, you could talk to a military recruiter, I would recommend the Air Force or Navy as you won't have and direct combat exposure. By the time you are 18 you would be ready to join and have a means of supporting yourself while you sort out your life and make some money for college. The first few years are not easy, but if you apply yourself, you can promote quickly. There are also some enlisted to officer programs that pay your college tuition.

    I come from a background very similar to yours, I joined the Navy at 18 and I stayed in for 14 years until I decided it was time to apply my skills in the private sector. Of course there are other choices. Weigh your options carefully, considering your future, and make the choice that is best for you. Try to make a choice that includes college, as you will find a degree invaluable in the shaping of your future.

  • Well j5bell I'm really sorry about your situation. I'm going through this with my 17 year old daughter. She is wanting to leave my home to stay with her boy friend. The problem is, is that I don't drink or do any of the things you described that your parents do. I have been divorced for almost 10 years. I have never brought any other man into my home and will not even date until my last child leaves my home. I'm a mother of eight and don't believe in this. But I want to let you know that I'm not the perfect parent. I have two adult daughter that I went through this with. It seems to me that at this age (17) kids think that life will be easy when they move away from home and that all of their problems will just vanish away. What I think you might want to do is to seek some support from a agency or may be a law enforcement officer. I have done everything I could possibily do to keep my daughter at home. I have called the police department. I ran after her with my car, but I finally had to sit down with her and let her know that I couldn't continue doing this. So on Christmas day I had to let her go. It was the hardest thing to do. I worry about her gettting pregant and I worry about something happening to her. I know for a fact that the police in my city will no longer take police reports if the child is 17 1/2. As far as emancipation the courts will ask you if you are able to take care of all your needs (job, food, shelter) If you do leave your home please be safe and pray pray that helps me get through diffcult times. Seek help and know that there our people out there to help you.

  • 1 decade ago

    Step One:

    Go talk to a school counsler or start seeking a state counsler (which is free) and make your concerns known and vocal to outside help.

    Step Two:

    Talk the Abused Children Hotline in your area. Sadly, you are still a minor and getting a place will be damn near impossible.

    Step Three:

    Keep low at home, lock yourself in your room and do as you are told no matter how hard it is.

    Step Four:

    When you are 18, look for your local Job Corps in your area, the provide housing, allowences and education. This will be a step that will help you all the way around.

    Step Four A: If the problems are too deperate to deal with, go to your local state Child Welfare office and explain the situation, they will usually step in on your behalf and look for a place for you to stay until you are 18.

    Step Five: Stay in school, once you are 18, you maybe on your own and a good education and a job will be the only securities you can hang on to...

    Email meh if you need to talk... I went through similar situations...

    *hugs*

  • 1 decade ago

    I"M sorry for your situation The only thing i can tell you is your still to young just hold out one more year. You need to see family services in your area. Just remember you are not like you mother. You can learn from their mistakes Just remember you are better than them, if their doing drugs call the police also see if you can live with a relative also go to the cops and tell them whats going on they will protect you Best of luck I"M 41 But my life was almost like you, my mother was an alcoholic and abused meafter i moved out at 18 and got my life back together it was hard but i managed and it gets better ever year I have been married you 19years now. I don't drink or do drugs

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  • 1 decade ago

    One of my best friend JUST went through this before graduation in June. Both of her parents are not her real parents, they adopted her and her sister and some other kids, but they were always so rude to her and this and that and talking down to her and stuff, so she wanted to move out but they said she had to wait until she was 18 (which was about a month or two i think then) and then she moved out and moved in with a friend of ours; but like ur parents, they didn't like her or w/e but they wouldn't let her move yet. I think you should go home and talk to your parents, and maybe the police will be there since they'll probably be called or see you and you can all have a talk and explain the situation to them and ask if you can move in with a friend or something. Best of luck. Be careful

  • 1 decade ago

    I sympathize with you. But I left home completely at the age of 17 and now im 27 and I have never gone back just to visit. If they call the police on you it is different though they do care. But if you leave and its no bother the best thing to do is find a friend and find a place to live and buddy up on bills if you have a job and know it takes 2. It is always easier when you have some1 to count on because times do get tough believe it or not. As far as your parents go May God be with them...

  • 1 decade ago

    How close are you to turning 18? Can you hold out a few more months? I feel for your situation, but by the time you file the paperwork to emancipate yourself, you will either be 18 or very close to it. Do you have a relative or close friend that you could bunk with?

    The other thing you could look into is your local Job Corps. I know the one in this area takes kids as young as 16, and they'll provide you with room and board and some pocket change.

  • 1 decade ago

    Do you have any relatives or older friends that will let you stay with them? If I were you, I would call social services and tell them exactly what you just said here. That is the best thing for you to do. They will hopefully find you a home or at least a safe place to stay until you can make it on your own.

  • Deb
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Call your local Children and Youth Service and they will help you. OR notify the police if all else fails. Running away is dangerous. (although I don't see how it can be in your case) You must get the law on your side. This is child abuse and child endangerment and reckless endangerment of another person. It is also mental abuse. God Bless you and Good Luck. You will NOT be put back there if you tell on him. You will be doing him and yourself a favor. He needs help desperately.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Contact social services and ask to be named an emancipated minor. It will take some legal wrangling, but if the circumstances aren't exaggerated shouldn't be more than a waiting game. They can also arrange for a place for you to stay and can aid you in finding employment.

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