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My wife is mad at the fact that if we learned our child was going to be retarded i would want an abortion?

I don't see the problem with this. While other kids grow up and play baseball or go fishing. My retarded kid would be sniffing cat butts and chasing pennies into the street. He may never move out of the house we would live in constant fear of walking in on him masturbating in the kitchen at age 25. Why not just start over and try to raise a kid without these problems so he can have a good life and go places?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I agree Dave, BUT you know this question is going to upset alot of people.....cant wait to read the answers!! xD

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  • 1 decade ago

    Every couple has their own choices to make based on their individual situation. However, there are many happy couples who have given birth to mentally-challenged children and would never regret their decision. There are many types of mental retardation, some more severe than others.

    You great exaggerate and insult those people who suffer from Downs Syndrome or a similar condition. There are many self-sufficient and independent mentally challenged people and there are those who may require supervision but do not do the act you ignorantly describe in your question. Be a man and "stand up to the plate," that is your son or daughter no matter what and give the child a chance!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well i'm not sure i agree with you but i do have to say this, not knowing your wife's age or anything but when i had the ultrasound done the told me there was a chance of down syndrome and yes i was upset but i didn't give up hope that everything would be fine. After the blood work came back the put the ultrasound and the test results and compared the two. The risks of Down Syndrome were very low and the mothers age has a lot to do with it, the younger the better. All the doctors told me there was nothing to worry about since my blood work was nothing to worry about. So for the past week i worried for nothing. I wouldn't make a decision just yet until you know for sure that there could be something seriously wrong with the baby. Supporting your wife is the best thing to do at this point. Otherwise you sound like a jerk and you could be making this whole thing up.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Do you not have the money to take care of a child with a disability? Would you be doing this because the child would be more of an inconvienence than another child? That may NOT even hold true. Out of all the children in my family (1 sister, 3 brothers) my down syndrome brother has been their pride and joy and has NEVER caused them any of the grief that the rest of us did. Not even close. You can learn a lot from someone with a disability. I'd say from the question you posed--you're a flamer...but there's a lot of ability in disability. A lot.

    I'd divorce or leave my partner if that was their viewpoint.

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  • 1 decade ago

    While this is under alot of debate... I see your point.. and I see everyone else's point. Your going to kill your imperfect child so you can have a perfect child to take care of. What about that child that you could give everything to, yes he/she might be retarded... but don't they deserve to live also? Don't they deserve to have a life and to be a part of this world? While it would be very hard to raise a child that is handicapped... it takes alot of love and care... and why you point out smelling cats butts... just b/c they are handicapped or retarded... i have never met a person of those stances ever smell a cats butt... and for another thing.. you can have a perfect child and still have to worry about walking in on him masturbating in YOUR house. No one says your perfect child is going to be perfect... your perfect child could be worse then having that handicapped child... atleast you know that your imperfect child isn't out there raping, killing, getting arrested all of the time, causing trouble for everyone, beating on others, and all the other things a perfect child could do.... you can never have a "perfect child". My sister in law has a daughter that has angels syndrome... and she would not change that for the world. She loves her so much, even though they know that they will always have to take care of her for the rest of her life, they go through with her having seizures, taking medicine all day, she has to sign b/c she can not speak yet and she is 6. She is the most beautiful child I have ever met, so sweet and so innocent. Handicap children can have fun in life and go places and have a great life... there is no such thing as a "imperfect child".

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  • BOOTS!
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    This is a thought that every couple has when conceiving. I think its great that you have both talked about it. Your wife is mad because shes the one caring the baby. She already has a bond with the baby and it will be hard for her to give that up if it came down to it. There are different kinds of mental retardation. Even if your child is not retarded there is always chance's of birth defects that they cant detect while pregnant. (autism for example) Its the responsibility that you take when conceiving so that's just how it is, life is not perfect unfortunately

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  • 1 decade ago

    This is a very personal decision but one that you and your wife must agree on before trying to conceive. Retardation can be in varying degrees and the kids can be very loving and maybe you learn a lot from them. I am not God. If you feel you would abandon a retarded child, what would you do if your child was gay or had red hair or grew up to think you were a jerk? I mean, life isn't the way we plan it sometimes. That said, I think raising a child is difficult and would be more difficult with a retarded child.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    She sounds emotionally retarded. Who would want to burden a child with going through an already tough enough life, handicapped?

    I am with you on this 100%. My decision on this was the same when my kid was on the way, fortunately she was healthy.

    I feel that life is tough enough if you are totally healthy, and for myself, if I was to be born sick, I would rather pass on that life.

    Most people are too selfish to consider the child and its feeling when growing up and are unwilling to make the tough choices, which abortion under the circumstances is.

    They live in a fools paradise.

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  • ShanaJ
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Sorry, I am with your wife on this one. I am almost 19 weeks prego and when we were taking all the tests to determine if there was a possibility of downs syndrome we decided that even if the baby did have it, that we would keep the baby. There are plenty of people with Downs syndrome that are functional human beings. In addition, even if the baby had severe retardation, that baby still deserves a chance at life. Second off all, that is a very very selfish decision on your part. Does not sound like you are concerned with the baby, it sounds like you are more concerned about having to care for a baby that is mentally challenged. It is your child for god sake. Grow up.

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  • c.s.
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I think your idea of a retarded child is extreme. IF her doctor informs her that the child would be retarded, the first question should be "How retarded?" What you describe is severe retardation and if it is severe, then you should consider abortion, if it is within your beliefs. If you wife does not believe in abortion, then that is HER choice.

    As a matter of percentages, most "MEN" leave when a retarded child is born. The mother is the one who will raise the child.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Would you have wanted your parents to do the same to you? Would you have wanted them to just give up on you if you were "retarded" and required more care? I really don't blame your wife for being mad at you, I would too. Just because your child wouldn't be able to do some of the same things "normal" children can do, does not make him or her any less of a person. Just because a child has a disability as you say "being retarded" does not mean that they can't live somewhat of a normal life and go places. If I were your wife, I would not want to have children with you anyway and maybe just maybe leave you for even wanting to think that.

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