An awkward moment cancels Christmas dinner?

My neighbor (+ good friend) is engaged to and Loves a guy who is about 25 years older than her + he comes originally from Mexico.

He has several adult kids from his marriage (he's a widower for about 10 years) and last week he and my friend were making luuuv in his bedroom and having fun when 2 of his adult daughters and 1 of his adult sons walked in on them!

They had let themselves in!! with a key!! to drop off Christmas poinsettas and stuff and opened the closed door and walked into the bedroom!!!

He put on his pants and shirt and went after his kids to talk with them and he has hardly said 2 words to my neighbor since. She's so embarrassed she doesn't want to face his kids.

Should she go to their traditional family Christmas meal or stay away? I told her she should go because she's going to be his new wife in a couple of months, despite the lack of privacy in his house?

16 Answers

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  • gone
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    She should go ahead and go to the dinner. If she is embarrassed, think how embarrassed the kids should be? If they aren't they should at least be ashamed for barging in to their bedroom.

    If I were her, I'd have the father have a longer talk with the kids about a matter of privacy and to respect their space. If they object, I'd tell them to have their own dinner without them next season.

  • 1 decade ago

    She should DEFINITELY go to the family dinner and hold her head high and pretend it NEVER happened.

    I think privacy issues need to be brought up in private at a later date between the two lovebirds (outside the bedroom); the adult "kids" need to learn to phone or at least knock, and one key thing is the age difference.

    Your friend's embarrassed but given her fiancee's approximate age and background he would likely be VERY conservative and HIGHLY embarrassed. He may not know what on earth to say to your friend and so is saying nothing, which is bad. His "kids" may also be embarrassed because they've had their Dad to themselves for 10 years, and probably think of him as generic old Dad, who hasn't got a sexual thought in his head (they think) and then here they find him doing the wild thing with a woman around half his age.

    In private, after the holidays, if your friend can perhaps give her fiancee a semi-gag gift of a doorknob with a built-in lock (keyless is fine so it can be locked from INside the bedroom) and let him know she's not dwelling on the WALK-IN but would like more privacy so they can be together in PRIVATE.

    Not to be mean, but at this man's age he's lucky to have a fiancee and a sex life, so hopefully he'll realize this and keep the relationship going and get over the embarrassment. She's his soon-to-be wife, not the "kids" new mommy, so she's not competition, she's a companion for their father when they're off living their lives.

    P.S. In a large, traditional Latino family there's not much privacy and she'll be expected to attend family dinners and gatherings no matter how old the "kids" are or what's happened. He's the patriarch / head of the family, and your friend will have to have a thick skin about privacy issues, regardless of how things "SHOULD" be.

    Source(s): Experience dating a man (Mexican background) who was from a large family.
  • 1 decade ago

    I think the kids are the least of the problems..they are adults they can handle it,& if not then he has a right to live as he wants with or without their approval..What the main issue should be is the guy not speaking to this gal since it happened..?Why is he avoiding her?If he is putting his children before her thats understandable but not very logical considering they are grown kids..I think she should reconsider marrying this guy if hes not willing to be a man & handle the situation at hand,& consider her feelings & part in all this..=)

  • 1 decade ago

    She should go, if his kids are grown they should know fully well what grown couples do. I also think it's pretty messed up that he hasn't called her in two days. What is that all about? The people he shouldn't be talking to are his kids for their lack of manners. I mean who just opens up the door like that? You always knock first, the kids should feel ashamed, not your neighbor.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I agree with you your friend should go and have a good old Mexican Christmas dinner. I've been to two with a lady I used to date and her father (and interestingly enough his mother) were the undisputed heads of the family. Plus everything they or anyone else did was EVERYone else's business.

    The food is great, the sense of family is great but I agree with another answer that she needs a thicker hide. It's just their way and it's utterly charming the sense of family and the loyalty. I miss being part of it all.

  • 1 decade ago

    She should go and hold her head up high. She did nothing wrong. His kids should learn how to use the phone first. They are the ones who should be ashamed. This is their father's house and even if they have a key, they should still be polite enough to let him know when they are coming over.

  • 3 years ago

    She could incredibly pass to the kin dinner and carry her head extreme and fake it in no way got here approximately. i think of privateness themes ought to be noted in inner maximum at a later date between the two lovebirds (exterior the mattress room); the person "youngsters" ought to learn how to telephone or a minimum of knock, and one key factor is the age difference. Your buddy's embarrassed yet given her fiancee's approximate age and historic past he could in all possibility be VERY conservative and distinctly embarrassed. He won't be attentive to what on the earth to assert on your buddy and so is asserting no longer something, it extremely is undesirable. His "youngsters" is additionally embarrassed with the aid of fact they have had their Dad to themselves for 10 years, and in all possibility think of of him as customary old Dad, who hasn't have been given a sexual concept in his head (they think of) and then right here they locate him doing the wild factor with a woman around 0.5 his age. In inner maximum, after the vacations, in the adventure that your buddy can possibly supply her fiancee a semi-gag present of a doorknob with a geared up-in lock (keyless is advantageous so this is locked from contained in the mattress room) and enable him be attentive to she's no longer residing on the walk-IN yet could like greater privateness so as that they are able to be collectively in inner maximum. to no longer be mean, yet at this guy's age he's fortunate to have a fiancee and a intercourse existence, so with any luck he will comprehend this and shop the courting going and recover from the embarrassment. She's his quickly-to-be spouse, no longer the "youngsters" new mommy, so she's no longer opposition, she's a greater half for their father whilst they are off residing their lives. P.S. In a huge, classic Latino kin there's no longer lots privateness and he or she'll be envisioned to attend kin dinners and gatherings no count how old the "youngsters" are or what's got here approximately. he's the patriarch / head of the kin, and your buddy will ought to have a thick epidermis approximately privateness themes, inspite of how issues "could" be.

  • 1 decade ago

    She should go and they shouldn't of opened the bedroom door with out knocking.

  • 1 decade ago

    Good God, well....I suppose she will have to face them anyway, first I would change the locks and remember sex is normal and the adult children should have known to knock first.

  • Tweet
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    If he hasn't said anything to your neighbor (his fiancee?) since this happened, I'm not seeing where she's going to become his wife now.

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