I'm okay without family during the holidays. Am I?

My family has been horrible to me for so many years, 'forgetting' to invite us to family functions, telling me I am not doing well in life, negative remarks to me and about me always, etc.

I'm happy with my girls and to bad I'm not as well off financially as they are.

I didn't call them over the holidays because they will probably say they 'forgot' or that 'they did' mention where Christmas would be this year but I haven't heard from none of them since Labor Day. My daughters and I had a blast at my friends who also has kids and I just don't want to see family on Christmas either and not sure when I do. Maybe their my illness. Am I short changing my girls of family by not wanting to be part of their 'get togethers' ?

13 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    As long as you and you're children are happy, i think thats all that matters. Its sounds like you've already accepted this, but you still want to be part of the rest of your family. If they are going to make negetive remarks, i wouldn't want to be around them, and would chose to be on my own. Just because you are not as well off as them doesn't mean they are happier than you, their negetive remarks and cold hearted spirit indicate they are actually more miserable than you, and probably didn't have as much fun as you did at your friends house.

    I'm a single male, I spend dinner with my family, but usually stop by and visit with a few of my friends and their families. You've got to find what makes you happy and be confident in your decision.

  • 1 decade ago

    come on, you do not have to worry about your family. now you have your own. you have your girls, and you are happy with them. what if you are not financially sound, there are so many things that money can not buy. And above all do not be depressed about the negative remarks, about the so called family functions.there are going to be many incidents and functions in the future, that will sooth your wounds and bring happiness into your life..

  • Karen
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    My husband and I had the same problem until we decided that it was not fair to our children to literally drag them from one family to the other on Thanksgiving and Christmas. We settled it by having Thanksgiving Dinner early afternoon with one family and then spending the evening with the other. The next year we would reverse the times. For Christmas Eve we visited both parents. One year we would go early afternoon to one parents house and then go the the other parents house for the evening and the next year we would reverse the times. Christmas Day we stayed home and invited the families to drop in at any time convenient for them, but our children would be home for Christmas Day. This system worked beautifully for all of us. Merry Christmas

  • deb m
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    spend the day thinking and feeling good and happy,having a nice time with your girls and the ones that love you If that means friends so be it enjoy. Family is very important, however loving one another is also. Merry Christmas

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I know what you are saying. They are not your illness. They are just not anything. Leave the door open but go your own way. You will find your own life. Your kids should not have to suffer the explanations and you can replace the "family" stuff. Make sure that they can tend to their needs at all times and you win. Its your life live it the best you can.

  • 1 decade ago

    My heart really goes out to you. My family is very judgemental also. They are not so focused on financial as moral issues. You'll never beat them. The only way to win the game is not play it. You're doing fine. You don't want your children to grow up learning to judge someone on what they have, you'll raise fools. Virtue itself is free. keep it up you have a good heart. As for the illness you spoke about. I understand it seems like either your crazy but mabey everyone else is and your the only one who's got it right, what are you suppossed to beleive? I don't have that answer, I struggle myself. Keep looking, but knbow this you are more right than most.

  • 1 decade ago

    You are what you make of your 'family' if you and your kids are happy in the moment. Kids live in the 'moment'. People can go years without seeing each other, live far distances, or become estranged...say kind things and remember nice memories of those you dont see and your kids will always love them and cherish them the next time they see them as if it were yesterday. :) happy holidays.

  • 1 decade ago

    Are YOU short changing them? No. But your back-stabbing family is. How sad that you and your girls are bing treated like second-class citizens by your own kin.

    By all means, have create a new family with your friends.

  • 1 decade ago

    just send the family a christmas card with a photo of you and the girls wishing them well....why be around negative people, family or not....be with those who care about you and the girls....

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    No grandparents and cousins are not what matters for your daughters, its you and there father, if the father is not there, then you. I only spend christmas with my bro,sis and parents don't worry about people who don't worry about you

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.