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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

I am dating an more older man...what to do?

I am dating a 31 year old man but I am only 19. However, our relationship is not akward because I am very mature and he appreciates that. He wants me to visit with his family tommorrow but I dont know if I should go? I am afraid of what they will think and how they will treat me. Not to mention we are two totally different races which might make it a little more uncomfortable...

12 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Go for it,Stop worring what his family will think about you.Just be yourself.If they come off as not liking you before they even get to know you,Change there opinion of you by showing them that you really do care about him.If there all about Family,An you make him happy.Then they should have no problem with your age/race.

    Good Luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    There is a big difference between 31 and 19 in terms of maturity levels and life experience, but age isn't everything. I've seen people in their 30's act as if they were still in college and younger people act very mature.

    What's important is how you feel in the relationship. As long as you feel that he respects you and treats you as an equal, then there's nothing wrong with dating someone older. If you guys are serious and have been dating for a while, then you should go meet his parents. What do you want? If you want to meet his parents, you shouldn't let your insecurities get the best of you. You two are the ones in the relationship, so as long as you guys are comfortable with the age difference and different backgrounds, then you shouldn't worry too much about what other people are going to think.

  • 1 decade ago

    ok, you mentioned 4 negatives already.. I'd say don't go, and find yourself someone closer to your own age and a nationality like yours so you will feel comfortable. You said "not to mention" but you DID mention, the race thing. When two people love each other and are meant to be together they don't notice the race thing. Plus you're falling for the old game guys play "age difference means nothing"...but frankly, it definitely does. If he says you're mature (whether you are or not) just the mention of that means the guy is bluffing. Don't rush into anything with this guy.

  • 1 decade ago

    Ahh hun it's normal to be nervous..

    I am 20 and normally date guys in their mid 30's so been there done that.. Also I have to worry about what they will think because I have 2 children one being and infant and all of that.. I also don't really get along with guys my age soo it's a risk I have to take..

    If you feel like you two are ready in your relationship to "meet the family" then go for it! Don't over think the whole race/age thing.. If they do not like you because of that then they are way judgemental and you do not need to get to know them and you could always leave early.. If he loves/respects you he will stand up for you and/or just leave with you say sorry and all of that..

    Just face it sooner or later if you are serious about this guy you will have to get this over with..

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hi! I'm wendy from malaysia. I think the guy you're with now was quite old in between your ages. However, if you and him love each other, there was no point you and him can't be together. I suggest you should go and may be his family will probably like you. If you're feel uncomfortable, you should try to explain with him, see how far your relationship can go further or not with him. If not, i suggest you should separate with him and find another one that is more suite your ages.

  • Curly
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Why do people say "its not a good idea"?

    Sometimes its because of who you are, or who he is.

    Other times its because when you marry the person you marry the family.

    A major reason that mixed heritage families are problematic is how both sides of in-laws treat the kids. Are you ready for a bi-racial child?

    The only way he truly thinks you are mature is if he is immature. At best he is delusional. If not, he is using you, and his family will see right through that. Whether or not you are kidding yourself, they wont be. Families dont kid about that sort of stuff.

    Good luck with that relationship.

  • 1 decade ago

    Miss f-18: you are dating the man not his family, just act yourself and you may be surprised. He has seen something special in your personality so let them see it too. Smile and engage others and if they voice concerns, treat them maturely and have an open discussion. At the end of the day your partner should say: if it's to be it's up to me...

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, there you go, Sweetie. 19 and 31 are worlds apart. You shouldn't be in this lopsided relationship in the first place.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hon, grow up before you date a guy that age. REally you are asking for trouble.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    you have to take a risk sometimes in life.

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