I am clueless....?

I think alot about everything, ideas, religion, politics, I hold no beliefs and hardly any opinions, I base what I think on facts and what makes sense to me, I do, however, have emotions but never, well hardly ever, express them, at least not like other people. Because of this it makes it really hard for me to relate to other people and I have difficulty taking an interest in most people. Let me explain better, people, and i generalize, take interest in what celebrities do, what other people say and do, what happened to them today, and trivial things such as these. I don't know how else to say it but I really don't care about these things. It would be painful for me to try and have a conversation about me going to school and driving to work or what my friends did and stuff like that for more than about 2 seconds. Don't get me wrong, I love to do fun stuff, play sports, and go to clubs, but I guess i just have trouble with making small talk and connecting with people. Advice please

10 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I have pretty much the same problem, i tend to avoid socializing because i'd rather do something on my own then waste my time with petty conversations, and to make things worse, I consider myself different, and that makes things even more complicated, i find it hard to talk to a person without getting bored of what they're saying, it's all just tedious to me.

    Well thats how it used to be.

    I came to a conclusion that if i never came out of my shell, then i'd always be hovering above everyone else, not really knowing if there was indeed someone out there who thought like i did.And yea, like you said, dont get me wrong, I'm not a total loner, I love dancing, sports, drawing, reading, and i'm a huge movie buff at times, however it still makes things difficult because I always constantly judge people and rarely give them a chance.

    So you need to start doing that, and be frank and honest about it, there's no point playing along with someone for a while and thinking you want to die the whole time you're there, because whatever they say is so uninteresting that you'd rather hibernate the next couple of months.

    So give people a chance, talk to people, eventually you'll definately find someone with the same interests as you, with the same outlook on life.You have to learn to be with people, because in the future, you're going to have to make connections- think of it long term. Alright I must say I found the whole thing rather annoying, but I stuck to it, and when i least expected it, i found a whole group of friends who didn't beat around the bush with anything, and they were fun too! you dont have to "connect" with people you find boring, i'm sure there's "someone" you've found interesting, introduce yourself and talk to them.It's not that big a deal, your level of language is fine, and i doubt you worry much about what people think of you.

    Be yourself, be frank.

    That's what I always am.If i find someone annoying or boring or something of the sort, I tell them that I just cant see eye to eye with them on that topic, apologize and move on, and if that doesn't work, i bounce on to someone who'll not make me want to sleep the rest of my life.

    So, stop being so judgemental, and poke your little head out for once.You dont seem the type of person to be scared of much.

    and when you succeed, welcome to the club!

    You can always email me.


    "Nothing makes us more vulnerable than loneliness, except greed. " [thomas harris]

    you may not realize it now, but when you do, you'll be buried under an avalanche, so before that happens, dont leave making friends as a last resort.


  • 1 decade ago

    Sounds to me like you have a small case of superiority complex. The issue here isn't whether or not you have the capability of carrying on a conversation. I think the issue is wther or not you believe the conversations you engage in are of any particular use or importance. This is usually a common issue associated with intellectuals. Small talk is not generally for the purpose of acquiring knowledge. It is simply an interactive tool used to gauge interests, body language, and establish a form of connection. Next time you go out, observe the people around you. See if you can acquire a different level of communication based on your perceptions of their body language and reactions. It's important to develop social skills, so, small talk is kind of a necessity as, most people don't have a higher level of education spanning beyond high school. If you want to talk about more pertinent things, find a social circle with people who have the same basic knowledge or higher than you. Find something that you're passionate about. If you can't find anything, do some research. When you come up to something that puzzles you, ask a question. Questions are the easiest way to acquire a conversation.

  • 1 decade ago

    I feel the same way - I despise the typical topics of conversation. However, I often find myself smiling and nodding rather than walking away. I am not suggesting that for you...

    ...instead, another thing that helped me was to change the people in my surroundings. I used to work at a bank full of brainless drones who loved to talk about nothing. So I joined the Art Museum and started going to their events and found people who were more like minded. I changed jobs to work at a university and found ways to spend time with faculty members and grad students who interested me.

    I still end up stuck in conversations from time to time that but I have managed to minimize that.

  • 1 decade ago

    you sound a lot like me. I have no problem communicating in writing or over the telephone; but, when face to face I lose interest in about 5 minutes. I guess that's way i could count the number of friends on one hand even if both arms were amputated. Your an introvert, brake the ice or you'll find only family members at your funeral.

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  • You just need to find others who connect the same way that you do and not feel guilty for not connecting the same way.

    I am artistic (as you can tell by my avatar) and outgoing and can make small talk but there is alot of other things I can't do.

    You just need to find the right 'nitch' for you.

    Keep your head up, you'll be fine - just focus on your strengths and know your weakness (which you already do).

    ; >

  • 1 decade ago

    first of all, realize tht u r not having any real problem. but u sure need improvement.

    try initiating conversation with strangers first. empathize with their points of view. leave the 'i m always rgt' attitude and try2find sense in wot others say.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    im the same as you , i dont care one bit about any of those things , anyway i soppose you can do what i do and find someone who shares your same interests , but belive me it will take a while

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Just be your self

  • 1 decade ago

    daaaaaaaaaaa, i don understand ur question.......

  • 1 decade ago

    try yoga...

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