I have social anxiety and I dread going to strange places because I do such dumb things.?

Like I spill my drink all over myself (I missed my mouth) and practically tried to rip the freezer door off at my brother's house. They have a wierd fridge with no handles and I was trying to open the wrong side. I always leave my camera or purse laying somewhere so I have to do things like talk to myself to make sure I am remembering what I am supposed to be doing, like am I supposed to be putting my coat on now? Sometimes I get my foot caught in my purse handle and there it goes following me. It is horrible. I get so nervous. I am on meds for it but I don't know what causes me to be so nervous I feel like a total drip instead of a cool person. I wish I was a calm collected person . I don't like to work because I'm afraid I will act stupid or make too many mistakes. I don't feel grown up and I feel inferior because I don't usually work and the longer I don't have a job the more inferior I feel. What do you people think causes social anxiety/stupidness?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Oh my gosh. Thank you for writing this. I felt like I was the only one who acted weird in strange/public places by myself. I don't know how to help you because I cannot even help myself, but my husband once asked me: Why are you afraid of being in public alone? I have never been able to answer that question. Maybe if I could I could begin to heal.

  • π²
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Be more secure in yourself and most importantly love yourself. You sound quirky, have to face it, some of the stuff you say you do is hilarious - laugh about it.

    I was the same way as you, and as far as the clumsiness, quirkiness or forgetfulness i'm still right there with you. It took a complete breakdown for me to start realizing how trivial and meaningless these little things are.

    If you talk to yourself to remember something, would you rather people think you're a little crazy - or forget to take your purse/camera?

    Trust me, i've put so much effort into being cool in so many different ways that I lost who I really was. You sound like you're in the same boat. This crap is not worth having an identity crisis or beating yourself up over. You'll realize it sooner or later, I hope sooner because I realized it later after LOTS of pain.

    The coolest people are the ones that can be their self without fear anyway, it's not a cliche, it just ends up happening that way.

    Good luck, god bless and Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays.

  • bev
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    do u really c this and how about when it gives other people a chance to aid or help u as this occurs, can u see it allows u to make friends and be humble and nice, this is all very comfortable and you can relax as u are the pleasure of other people attention, and good attention at that, every guy want to just c a girl acting with normal problems, yours give signals to normal emotions, don't panic as this is very interesting as a social loop that you have no real reason to avoid, once you realize that if you eliminate all these things other people would loose contact with your aptitudes and you would have to create new habits to be friends, as people c you react to new or strange events it is far more easily to interpret you that it is to text about it here, you could be enjoying the way u are and have confidence that you are well liked

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    What your describing sounds like "Agoraphobia", fear of social situations where it will either be hard to escape or where you'll embarrass yourself. This is a common condition and you shouldn't feel like you're the only one out there who has these feelings. The most effective treatment for this (at least from a medical point of view) is systemic desensitization and cognitive behavioral therapy, both of which change the associations of being in public and the feelings you experience. It's a big downward spiral as feelings of fear cause additional withdrawal which cause more feelings of fear, etc.

    Drugs help a bit, but actively working through your feelings and having support around you to help change the way you feel about situations will be the only long term solution in my opinion.

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  • 1 decade ago

    That is normal. I did that with the new therapist they gave me. First time i missed my mouth and the water went all over me. You need to keep seeing a professional for this condition for one thing. It is not going to go away quickly. You really need to want to work on this or it is just a waste of your time and the professionals time. It can get better, you can actually go out and without anyone being with you and feel comfortable, so give it a try. We have all felt stupid at one time or another if we are willing to addmit it or not.

    Merry Christmas

    Source(s): self, friends, groups, theraipts, med books, hospitals, doctors.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hey look babe don't take meds unless you think you've tried everything and are insane. Just look at comedians their on stage doing goofy things for a living it does not bother them. Look at all the other goofy people around you. Do not be self conscious about your actions because if you think to much you tend to do those actions. People will perceive you as you think of yourself what you think about yourself can really influence your actions consciously or subconsciously people will notice your actions and start to judge. Don't beat your social anxiety by trying to be the most outgoing person that's a false sense of who you are if your shy and a bit clumbsy laugh at it be you no one really cares really!!

    people like people who are funny and have a positive outlook on things they could be fat short or two toned eventually people

    look past their first impression and start to see the real you even if its goofy. Laugh and don't sweat the small stuff be you do what you do. Just be yourself and hopefully that's funny goofy and maybe sexy.

  • 1 decade ago

    I do that sometimes, too. It is hard to go to a new place and meet new people because you want to make a good impression. If you keep thinking that you will make a bad impression, then YOU WILL. You have to change your thought pattern and think more positively about yourself and the good qualities that you have. It sounds like you over-analyze things too much, and worry about what other people think. Maybe when you were little, someone made fun of you because you made a mistake, or said something negative about you.

    You should just be yourself, and if other people don't like it, then they aren't worth your time. Don't worry too much about what other people think!!

  • Leigh
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    I am so happy, it was only a 35 minute drive ( 70 minutes total) but absolutely no sign of anxiety or panic i shopped till I dropped - brilliant! I will now go for the next stage DUAL CARRIAGE way, probably at the weekend, with my husband accompanying me first then the solo drive, if successful the final stage of driving on motorway

    Beat Anxiety And Panic Attacks Naturally?

  • 1 decade ago

    To overcome this situation you have to go more place rather than staying home. Driving to another city that is10-15 miles away from you home and stay there for a while.

  • 1 decade ago

    It is lack of WILLPOWER and nothing else. Always think positivelt (eg. I can do). Try YOGA. Meditation cures such problems.

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