What should I do about friends who constantly ask for money?
Most of my "friends" constantly ask me for money or for me to co-sign for something or put my name on an account in promise they pay me back. I come from a very well-to-do family, and I work hard (in addition to save and invest wisely, build excellent credit, and live way below my means). I am considered a "tightwad penny pincher" by a lot of my friends because I am frugal but have a lot of assets. I paid a friend's probation off ($4,000 in cash) and never seem to ever get what I let people borrow back. I am set to a large inheritance and I'm afraid that my nightmare of beggers will never end. There is more to the story. I am 23 years old, and have more money than my friends in their forties. They resent it because of the age difference and I can do whatever in reason. I don't want people to know about my money. How can I hide my 'wealth' so friends can like me for me not because of my bank account and other assets? Please offer me some advice on this. Thank you in advance.
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
oh dear unfortunatly i know this situation oh too well and speaking from experience the best thing you can do is start saying no imedietly
you see i got quite alot of money from a wealthy aunty when she died. it was then i realised who my real friends were. i started to buy little gifts for the people i thought were my friends because they were special to me.....or so i thought
but soon that's all they ever wanted from me, relying on me to buy takeaways, drinks, clothes etc for them
after my money had gone however, most of them didn't talk to me anymore. the ones who stuck buy me were the ones who never asked for money......the ones i still buy treats for now here and then because i know they dont take advantage
i realy hope you dont end up in my position. the best thing you can do is tell your friends you cant afford it. the ones who understand and stick buy you are your true friends the ones who don't never were
remember friendship isn't meant to cost anything but loyalty and trust!
- Lara <:(((><Lv 41 decade ago
Sounds like you need to do some money manging, if you have money just sitting in the bank not a good idea lock it up if you cant get at it, the you can't loan it to anyone and I don't think its a great idea to be signing for people, it makes you in charge of paying it if they don't. just tell them you had a bad experience and will not do it any more. And also when you have more money then the next guy be humble and make them at ease when your around them, we are all different some have more some have less, today you could be on top and tomorrow could change every thing. Its great to be on top but if one day you find your self on the bottom it even worse then never having money in the first place.
- 1 decade ago
tell them to get a job and then a life. If they are hungary that is another story, Policy on Co signing: spouse and children only and then scrutinize. paying off probation does not sound like a good investment.They may have needed that trouble and head/heart ache to learn a lesson. Fine line between empathy and codependancy. Concerning inheitance never count on it Lawyers have a knack for getting even into to trusts, and rendering them not as the deciesed had intended. and they always end up with 1/3 and love to make family fight and distrust in order to get 2/3 or all of it. Take money put it into GOV Bonds Then tell everybody it is all tied up nothing you can do about it.Source(s): been there done it
- 1 decade ago
When it comes to friends and/or family, never "loan" money. If you can part with it, "give" it to them, but never loan it to them. This is the quickest way to end a friendship (they may not pay you back, the friendship will be over, then you will be out of money and a friendship).
People only know what they know about you by what they see or hear. So when it comes to hiding your wealth, don't let them see you spending, and don't tell them about it, therefore they will never know. Once the cat is out of the bag, it's over.
Bottom line, stop loaning money if it isn't working for you. You have been burned more than once. There is no lesson learned if you have repeated the same mistake...
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- 1 decade ago
I'm sorry to say this but it sounds like these "friends" are just around for you to help them. I say stop "helping" them out for a couple weeks and see who sticks around. If they're your real friends they'll stick around and understand that you're more than just money. As for hiding your "wealth" I don't think you should. You shouldn't be ashamed of what you have but grateful and that's why you don't go spending away what you've earned frivolously. Real friends shouldn't ask for a hand-out or a hand-up. If you know that your friends are as financially lucky, the next time you hang out go to a place that's in their price range, or do something that they can afford. It states that even though you have money you don't need to flaunt it.
- clcaliforniaLv 71 decade ago
hon, you just need to learn to say no, If your friends can't deal with it, then you need new friends. Honestly these really arn't friends, They are moochers.
Your nightmare will never end until you learn to say NO NO NO.Seriously you just might have to find new friends .And don't let them know that you have money.
You are a sucker to say yes, especially to that person probabion. Geesh $4,000 you will never see again. Also look at it this way-- you are enabling your friends to NOT grow up and take care of themselves. True friends will stick by you no matter what.
There is a word.......co dependency......you are teaching your friends that you are a easy way out. Yes you are teaching them to use you and to not depend on their selves.
STand firm and learn to say NO. NO matter what, say no no no.
- denfasrLv 41 decade ago
You should never loan money to any friend - ever. you can give them the money with the knowledge that they are not obligated to return it. People will get hurt loaning money to friends because sooner or later they are not going to return it and your going to end up in court trying to collect or a debt collection agency will be knocking at your door or worst a bad mark being placed on your credit report that you will not be able to get rid of for ten years. It's not worth losing friends or your credit status. Never loan money to friends. You should tell them that your not a bank and you do not loan money to anyone.....period....ever.
- 1 decade ago
Well you sound like a good person who wants to give but your being taken advantage of. Only give if you want to. If you feel you are gonna get scammed then 2 things this person is not your real friend and dont give it to them listen to yourself. The people who need help for real will never ask you for it. Those that do only ask for it cause they know it will get them out of there own mess. Never let bad people take advantage of you and make you less of a good eperson.
- mt982000Lv 51 decade ago
They don't sound like very good friends. They resent that you are better off financially and want to sponge off you. Next time they ask you for money, suggest that they go to a bank, after all that is what a bank is for.
- 1 decade ago
i had the same problem and i told them that u really dont mean anything and u love them and so but i'm reall losing a lot of money if they r ur friends truly they'll understand whoever gets upset know he was there for the money