Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

if you cheat on your husband/wife , why would you tell them?

Don't tell me to be honest with them or your self , you only hurt them .

I think it's better to stop it and hope no one knows .

don't you agree ???

19 Answers

  • jude
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    never ever tell that u have cheated or have someone else u are interested in, as the moment u reveal this, you have burned all the bridges, and will never get back to where u were, just stop doing it, get some spiritual help, ask god for forgiveness and than forgive yourself, and just devote more to your mate and that relationship, instead of just getting mad and walking away with another.

  • 1 decade ago

    Just tell them. Been there, done that, and it caught up with me and I got caught. By then I had stopped it, but was condemned for not telling him, even though we were "broken up" at the time. I begged for him to take me back, but then dumped him a year later anyways. Usually when you cheat its because you aren't happy with what you're getting at home, but its a security blanket for you, because you either a) don't think you can do better, or b) are afraid you're going to loose too much if you leave them. Its up to you to decide what you really want. If you arent happy with the person now, 99% of the time, you wont be happy with that person in 5 years, 1 year, or 5 months.

  • 1 decade ago

    I had a one yr affair with another married man. No judging please, it wasn't all about the sex for me and it has been over for 3 years now. I ended it in Dec. and told my husband in March. There was healing that I needed before I could fess up. I wanted my marriage to work in the end, and even though he was CLUELESS about the affair, I still chose to tell him because I couldn't live with that for the rest of my life. That has been 2 1/2 yrs ago and we are just now doing really, really well after the fact. If you think your spouse is worth it and your marriage, you will tell, period! There will be many consequences from the affair, trust me!!!, but if you don't tell then one day you may cheat again and justify it because you didn't get caught the first time. My husband, although really hurt by what I had done, was really glad that I told him about it instead of him just finding out about it.

  • 3 years ago

    My important different and that i continually reported that if both human beings wanted to wander then we may tell the different beforehand we cheated didnt artwork like that although...he has cheated 3 circumstances and under no circumstances once instructed me about it...first time i stuck him.... 2d time i heard from some different person even although i had suspicions and the superb time...i basically acknowledged the signs and indications of the previous 2..... they under no circumstances tell...!! sorry ...yet when i cheated and knew for definite i'd under no circumstances do it back i wouldnt tell in a million years i dont imagine all of us ought to ruin a courting for what replaced right into a huge mistake

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  • Dennis
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    If you CAN stop it. Most people CAN'T stop it...unless it was a serious self-conscious mistake that you made and don't want to relive...but for those who indulged in the temptation...what makes you think you won't do it again when the marriage doesn't fulfill you like it did when you decided to cheat in the first place?

    For selfish people it's easy to keep it to themselves..I would rather my wife tell me she cheated than to keep it a real with herself, if she doesn't love me she doesn't love me..or if i don't satisfy hey it happens....then i can go have MY FUN....cause she would have obviously cheated me of MY FUN if she's out there bangin someone else.

    That's the idea, if you can go screw someone else cause you weren't fully satisfied in your relationship..then why can't she do it too? You say you love me? Oh okay, well I wanna have some fun with other people too if that's the damn why not let me do it too? You screwin is hindering your cheated on mate of their sexual satisfaction.

    So if you aren't satisfied you LET someone know, that way if they love you enough they'll forgive you and FIX IT...otherwise....she'll be free to finally find HER fun..and you can continue screwing your sexual thrill...

    And trust me, trying to stop it and THINKIN no one will know....what makes you think the one you're cheatin with won't give and spill the beans to anyone....bad secrets always reveal themselves eventually...karma.

    Oh and you hurt them the day you decided to REDEEM yourself by manning up to your responsibilities...cause then it's what hurts cheating but telling the truth...or you cheating AND LYING when your behind gets caught?

    You don't truly love someone when you're willing to cheat them because of your own selfish desires...I never cheated my family like that...and i'll never cheat my wife like that...if i had to find something better i'll either work it through her or just do the honorable thing and end it.

    There's no excuse for're a grown *** with responsibility.

  • 1 decade ago

    That's really messed up. I've cheated before and I've fessed up and it worked out in the end. It really is better to be honest. How can you look that person in the face everyday, tell them you love them, & live with that guilt??

  • 1 decade ago

    with a marriage or very committed relationship on the line, it might seem safer to keep it a secret and pray that you'll never ever do it again. but there'll be a guilty conscience over your head in the meantime also. although, imo, it seems like they'll find out eventually.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you have a conscience, then you should tell them. They have a right to know what you have done. They might not want to be with you if they know what you've done. As scary as that might be to do, you owe it to them to take that chance; otherwise your whole relatioship is based on lies and it's wrong/selfish to not give them the choice.

  • 1 decade ago

    but i think that if you dont tell the person yourself or try to keep it a secret there is a possibility that that person will either find out or you will always feel guilty and sometimes your partner knows when u r hiding something from them......but if you like the guilt **** it......

  • Toni
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    What part of the relationship is not satisfying you to the point where you break the boundaries of marriage? Your mate thinks you're monogomous, yet you're being a polygomist. Why?? Ask yourself.

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