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ok for a guy this seems like a no brainer, but ladies what is ur thoughts?

My mom's sister past away last sunday, my mom hated her. they have only talked once in my life (i am 37). my mom is really upset i didn't take time off work to go to the funeral. I had never met her. i love my mom and wouldn't do anything to upset her, but come on how is a guy supposed to know this would mean so much to her? my mom has never been a very emotional person.


should i feel bad for not going?

Update 2:

well jamal i am hoping she doesn't die again

17 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Actually I agree. If your mom said that she hated this woman, and hardly ever talked to her, why would she expect you to suddenly have grieving feelings for her. I hate funerals, even if it is a family member, funerals just depress you. You should explain to her that you didn't know if meant so much to her considering the relationship that her and her sister had. But still apologise because that's what she wants to hear.

  • 1 decade ago

    Shes just emotional because maybe she wished things had been different in life for her and her sister. So even though down deep she knows there was no need in you attending the funeral...she is lashing out her emotions in an awkward way. Just be there as a shoulder to cry on. After all, they were sisters. I assume they grew up together and they have some happy childhood memories. Remember, women are very sentimental.

  • 4 years ago

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  • 1 decade ago

    I am a lady, and I am perplexed by your mother's behavior as well. I guess that deep down, your mom regretted her actual "loss" of her sister long ago when they started hating one another and not speaking. It is quite sad, you will agree. I assume you mom went to the funeral? It is sad that you lost your aunt as well, and I mean your life without her, not just her death. YOur attending the funeral would not have made up for that loss. I think your mom is just reacting to her own sad situation. Hopefully, she can get over that within herself and not let it affect her relationship with you. She should have leveled with you before the funeral took place, so you would have realized that she needed your support for the funeral. I'm sorry this sticky situation happened to you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Since when have funerals been for the person who died? They are for the people who are left behind. Your Mom sounds like she has a few regrets and she probably would have liked your support, whether you knew your aunt or not.

    By the way: You say your mom isnt very emotional just after you said she "hated" her sister your whole life. Isnt hate an emotion?

  • Nikki
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Now this is interesting! Your mom for sure confusing especially if she 'hated' her and expected you to go to the funeral????? That makes NO sense.

    If you haven't asked your mom why, then I suggest you do so. Have a heart to heart with her and try to find out what is going on with her.

    Maybe she is in regret for not working things out with her sister and that you didn't get to know your aunt...

    Sorry to hear that this has happened!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Your mom is feeling bad, and regretful. My mother is the same way with one of her sisters. I've never met her before, my mom has only mentioned her a handful of times. She probably feels so horrible and guilty. I don't know your mother so there could be many reasons why she would of wanted you to attend. I bet it was the guilt.

  • 1 decade ago

    It sounds like your Mum is taking her own bad feelings out on you. She obviously is grieving her death & even though they didn't get along, she's probably wishing they did & feels bad about it all the same. She may think that you going could perhaps make up for it all in some way, even though it won't. She's just annoyed at the whole situation and it's easy to take things out on you because she knows you love her. We always find it easy to act like a*sholes around those closest to us because they forgive us. Tell her to get off your back and it's not your fault they didn't get along.

  • 1 decade ago

    its a simple matter of not knowing. how were you to know as you said that it would mean so much to her, especially since your own mother didnt talk to her. From what i see your mother doesnt have the right to be upset with you about this one. You did what you felt was right.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Maybe your mother actually is upset about her sister passing away, and subconsciously is taking it out on you because she has no other means of venting?

    Try talking to her...

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