Why Do Ex-Husbands Act Like Jerks?

My ex-husband and myself were married for 8 years and in that time he would never allow me to have any kind of a social life and now that we're divorced he still wont allow me to. He goes around telling people stuff about me that isnt true, he makes working nearly impossible for me because he will go in to my work place and start givng people we were both friends with trouble or he'll tell them his side of the story. My ex and me had 2 kids together and he NEVER helped me to care for the children. My little girl has a hereditary illness and so each time she would go to the hospital for it he would make me take her alone while he sat at home either infront of the t.v. or infront of the computer. Now he is seeking custody of the children stating that I can not be a capable mother due to the fact that Iam getting re-married next year. It has been almost 3 years since my ex and me got divorced...shouldn't I be allowed to get on with my life and find happiness?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Yes. You definitively have to right to start over with somebody who worths it. If you have a way to prove how he was with you and your kids during your marriage, then you will win the custody of your children in any family court. It sounds like your ex is just trying to make your life miserable. Dont let him! If those friends of yours are really your friends, they will know, what he's saying about you is nonsense. Even though, those friends of yours can testify in front of a judge to help you gain your children custody and alimony. Play smart and good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes ofcourse you should be allowed to move on and be happy. He sounds like a jerk and is obviously jealous that you will be happy without him. He certainly does not sound like a good father and there is no way in hell that he will get custody of the children if that is his only case against you. I would not worry about anything he says to people about you. Those people know what you are really like and no matter what he says that will not change. He has no control over you now so just do whatever makes you happy and forget about anything he says. You have been divorced 3 yrs and he has not moved on yet, that's why he's so unhappy about you remarrying. Like l said his problem not yours anymore. Best of luck in your new marriage and Merry Xmas to you and your family.

  • 1 decade ago

    This guy isn't a jerk; he's crazy! Besides harassment, this guy is stalking you. Both are crimes and you are within your rights to press charges. He has no business bothering you where you work, or anywhere else for that matter. So, have him removed. Get a restraining order and do what you need as to keep him away and out of your life. As far as custody issues you can sue him for back and current child support. Let the courts see how he has treated you and how he abandoned you and left you to care for a sick child for the past eight years.

    Now, the time is long over due for you change your mind frame about how he has been treating you. You need to start standing up to this monster. Marriage to him has been long over with. He has no business to dictate how you can or should be living your life. His brazen arrogance to even assume that he can control your life shows that his personality has become warped. This pathological behavior he displays shows that he is mentally unbalanced. This guy is sick with jealousy driven by malice and contempt, enraged by the thought of you not being shackled to him any longer. Show the court all of this.

    The part about him suing for custody because you are an unfit parent soon to be remarried is too outlandish to be believed. Any court could see how ludicrous this sounds. By throwing ridiculous accusations ex doesn't sound like he has much to stand on.

    Not only should you be allowed to get on with your life, to have the happiness and fullfillment you desire; this is your God given right! Allow it? You deserve it! You don't need anyone to grant you permission for you to have it. Least of all a psychopath who shadows you making your very existence unbearable. Lady, you've been put through too much for too long. You have no reason to feel guilty for wanting a good and decent life for yourself and your child.

  • 1 decade ago

    Ex were always jerks.. it only takes one long to identify the traits.. u can only do few things. do things which create fear in him for eg : tell him to take the kids custody. he wont .. for he never cared for them he is asking cutoday only to haraas u..

    second .. impress ur co-workers so that they care more about u and less abt ur ex .. better still get him thrown out by security at the job.. saying that he is disrupting ur work. seel help from ur employer.. make new set of friends who dont give him a ****..

    take help from ur to be.. let ur ex know that he does not exist for u. ignore him thats the only way to move on with life and get the happiness u rightfully deserve

    all the best..

    Source(s): encounters of the same kind
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  • Jeanne
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    With respect to your ex's insufferable behavior, being a good parent requires maturity and self-sacrifice - stop concentrating on your ex and start concentrating on your children. Be the better person and just let the cr*p go by you like empty white noise - and put your emotions and energy into your kids instead. This may be hard to do at first, but the more you do it the easier it will become and the better you will feel - fringe benefit, if you stop reacting, it is probable that your ex will stop trying to needle you. Remember, just because your ex is behaving like a childish twit is no excuse for your doing so - two wrongs do not make a right and you need to set a good example for your children. On the custody issue, most courts in almost all states will always award custody to the mother unless there is a provable issue with addiction or emotional or mental health or unsafe home environment - and court costs can be paid off on the installment plan. You were either spectacularly unlucky and/or you are leaving out some significant points - all of which is neither here nor there as things are what they are and it is best to deal with the now. In the now, just do your best to be a great mother to your kids, to be supportive, to ask questions and listen to the answers, to teach them good life skills and values, to teach them honesty, courtesy and kindness (and why these values are important), to teach them how to learn and how to have fun, to teach them the value of work, to teach them common sense, to teach them to understand the consequences of their actions, to set limits, to give them unconditional love, and to be there for them - repeat ad nauseum because that is how kids learn. And remember, your ex may have the quantity time-wise with your kids - so you go for the quality. Put in as much planning, forethought and pre-game effort into being a parent as you can manage - then when you are actually with your kids, be flexible and focused and with them in the moment, have fun and let things flow naturally. And take advantage of cell phones if you can - my bro bought a cell phone plan with plenty of minutes for himself and both of his daughters when he got divorced so he would always be able to keep in touch - both Alltel and Tmoblie have friends and family plans that allow you to call certain people for free at all times - if your kids don't have cellphones yet, this is definitely something worth investigating. Good luck and God Bless.

  • 1 decade ago

    Maybe you need to have an interdict put against him with a threat to have him up for slander if he pursues this nasty road. ALso remember that he is a wounded animal. Wounded dogs usually bite! Ask security to throw him out of the work place if he comes there, but you will need a police interdict put against him that should he come anywhere near your workplace or your home or whatever you will have him locked up for harrassment.

    I am sorry you have had to experience this. it just proves how some people refuse to grow up. People wont take sides, they will listen and forget dont worry. Pray and ask God to make straight the crooked paths and he will!

    Good luck and God bless you.

  • 1 decade ago

    first of slap this jerk with a restrain order, and stick with it..he has no right coming to your job and harassing you...tell him flat out mind your damn business! this boy sounds like he needs help and the fact your getting remarried is a good thing, it shows a good sign in the courts, it shows stability and a firm house, and as long as there are no cause for effect of a bad reputation from you or your future spouse then I'm sure the courts will side by you..take all your medical documation with you to prove he was a low life and never showed any support, your medical records will show attending parent . in the mean time get that order and get this bum out of your life...good luck

  • bill g
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    sadly this bloke is your nemesis -- past and present -- he can't get a life and doesn't want you to have one neither -- because of his guilty conscious .

    you will have to ' bite ' the bullet and tell him that he shows no support for his responsibilities --- and you do not need or want him to interfere with your plans for the future --- because after all he didn't consider that in your time together ---

    piss him off in no uncertain terms and for once --- you tell him so if he has the audacity to keep tormenting you (get a dvo out on him ) or restraining --- he's no good and you are better than that . good luck ana merry Xmas .

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, you deserve to be happy. He is still trying to bully you. You know you are a good mom so don't let him pull that crap with you. Ex-husbands act like jerks because they are jerks! If they were nice they would still be married to you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    He is your ex husband...why do you allow what he says and does to bother you?

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