how can i be able to trust again?
my ex girlfriend cheated on me twice and now im with my new girlfriend and shes perfect, shes awesome, loyal and innocent, and has not lied to me at all, my ex girlfriend was a horny hoe and my new girlfriend is not, but i have problems with trusting anyone and sometimes i find myself being insecure with my current girlfriend but shes done nothing wrong. how can i fix this? my ex really screwed me up when it comes to trust, how i can i learn to trust anyone again? mainly my girlfriend
- 1Lv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
hmm...it's tough....but you have to remember...every girl you bump into isn't your ex....you shouldn't have a reason not to trust them...Source(s): Moi;D
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I know exactly how you feel and have known people that are in your same position. The best thing to do is just to have faith in this new relationship and start clean. If this new girl cheats on you, then that is her problem, and not yours because you cannot control another person, as you have learned from your previous girlfriend, but instead of being scared of trusting again, try to trust her because it was not her fault that you have had bad experiences. You have probably heard this many times, but the most important thing in a relationship is communication. Communication is key and you must be on the same level as your new gf. Be honest. Open up to her and explain to her why it's difficult for you to trust once again. She should understand. take it slow, can't go wrong with that, and for your own good, trust again. Take little step. Positive talk. And do not be afraid to give it your all in this new relationship. Do not fear falling for a cheater. bc if this new girl will do that then that is her problem. Cheaters are selfsih and really do ruin people's life, but one must overcome this fear or meeting another cheater. Good Luck and I hope this helps!!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Trust just takes time. Sounds like you got burned pretty badly with the first girlfriend. I'd refrain from using phrases like "horny hoe," however. It's patently offensive.
In time, you'll get your trust back. Part of trusting, of course, is having a little faith in the person. Most of it, however, is their behavior and how they actually treat you and how they behave in the context of the relationship. You will start to relax and trust more and more as time goes on. Doesn't sound like the current woman is giving you any reasons to doubt her. So just give it time.
If you continue to feel so shaky that you are accusing her, becoming so insecure that you are having obsessive thoughts, or feel like abandoning your girlfriend because of this situation, seek professional help. Your girlfriend can only reassure you so much before it's out of her hands and you must deal with it yourself.
Good luck! Hang in there! It'll get easier.
- 1 decade ago
You won't ever fully trust again. You lost your innocence and in a way that is a good thing because even good people go corrupt. I remember the feeling of completely loving someone without any reservations until that person suddenly dumped me after five years of dating. I was so distraught (not with only that but with everything else in my life at that time or up to that time) that I got completely drunk by the pool and woke up in a hospital. I am married now to someone completely better, in all ways, but still find it hard to be the young girl seeing through the rose-tinted glasses. Maybe that is what the powers above want us to learn, maybe that is maturity.
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- JeanneLv 44 years ago
It depends on how big the lie was and the reason behind it. I tend to forgive and forget pretty easily and sometimes i just have to understand that people like to keep some things private and if they lie about it and it doesn't have anything to do with me then it doesn't affect me too much. I too had a leo friend that lied all the time about being rich, going on trips and stuff like that, she didn't have as much money as the rest of the class so i guess she felt kinda insecure and that's why she lied all the time but that doesn't mean she was always backstabbing me, it was just the way she dealt with her insecurity.
- 1 decade ago
When it comes to trust, you have to remember that someone has to give you a reason not to trust them. If she hasn't given any reasons, then don't hold your ex's problems against her. Also, you will need to fix the problems within yourself. Insecurities lead to doubt, which lead to accusations, which leads to a lack of trust. Relationships are built on trust and if you aren't truly ready, then maybe your temporary solution will be to be single for awhile until you feel comfortable.
- Feeling new @ 42Lv 41 decade ago
Be thankful your ex didn't take your kid's away and tell all your friends you cheated on her, instead of the truth. Be thankful that you have someone to confide in and trust. There are no guarantees in relationships. You'll have to take what you learned and reference the info to guage your new found relationship.
- AlisonJonshonLv 51 decade ago
It takes time to learn to trust again. See a counselor if you can, it help. You have to remember that this is different girl (and she sounds great!), not ur previous ex-gf, the serial cheater.
Give ur self time to heal and gv her a chance also to prove that she deserve your love and trust.
You both are going to be a great couple
- MagikButterflyLv 51 decade ago
You got to build a relationship on trust among other things and if you can not there is no room for your current relationship to grow so, get some counciling!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
it takes time but don't take it out on your new girl. you may lose her. every woman is not like that. maybe you dated to soon after the breakup? this can be normal after being hurt. so don't let insecurity take you over unless you have just cause. sorry this happened to you and remember your not the first nor the last.but i think you may have found the right person so far. good luckSource(s): shiznick
- MarijuanaLv 51 decade ago
sounds like u're ahving a trauma here.....i understand that u're having a bad time recovering from the past......try to forget it......watch more love stories, they'll give u inspiration.....all u have to do now is try to remain positive n' don't look back.....if things are still the same, talk to anyone u trusted or seek professional help.....good luck