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I have a male friend who I started communicating with via email and we have become such good friends.?

We share a lot in our emails but have never met in person. He is married and so am I and we have told our respective spouses about our friendship and there have been slight insecurities on both ends despite our assurances. I personally think we should not discuss our friendship with our spouses if it is causing insecurity. I feel very strongly about our friendship and always look forward to reading from him and him from me. Someone told me this can be considered "cheating" albeit not physically. Your opinion please.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    grr. I understand. both sides. and I've been fighting with the same things myself. I think your partners should just get over it. you need to have good friends, no matter what their sex. I personally get along much better with men than women, but am not sure about having male friends now...Its your choice. When you speak with your husband about it, don't make it into a big deal. and don't hide it from him. but don't rub it in either. he should know he's number one in your life anyways.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Are you discussing sexual topics or other inappropriate things? If it's making your spouses uncomfortable then you should stop. Sometimes it's difficult to have friends of the opposite sex, which is an unfortunate reality of life. I have a few male friends and my husband has come to accept it because he knows I would never dishonor our marriage and that I'm just being friendly. We have established a good level of trust over time, but some people can't accept these friendships and that's definately ok. You have to do what's best for your marriage. If the friendship is taking attention from your marriage then you need to re-focus and try to discuss things with your spouse. Good luck.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It is not cheating unless you have other than just friendly feelings towards this guy you are e-mailing. It seems the spouses on both sides have some insecurity issues that need to be brought out in the open. Ask why they feel this way, and let them know that you are just friends nothing more, two people can be close without going over the boundaries to where it leads to cheating.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    No it is not cheating at all. The only time you cheat is when you actually have physical sex. For some reason, it is the actual act of making love that is considered cheating. Most people can live with the fact that their partners have close friends with whom they can talk about anything. But the moment that friendship turns into physical contact, the marriage is as goos as over.

    So, carry on writing as long as you decide not to meet and have sex with this person. Of course, if you love your spouse you will not have sex with another person.

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  • PikC
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    No, I won't say it's cheating at all. Cheating is when you both begin to have "romantic" thoughts/desires and maybe phone sex as well? I believe it's ok to have a good friend of the opposite sex - just like another female friend - NOTHING wrong with that at all. In future, stop feeding your spouses info when you both communicate - they (even you) WILL definitely feel insecure and threatened. Some things are better left unsaid and no one will be any wiser. I have an e-pal myself and we are JUST STRICTLY, e-pals.

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  • 1 decade ago

    if ur just talking its not bad just let ur spouses know in advance and assure them that ur not doing anything wrong.then let them share in the friendship if they want.let things be open n u won't have a problem later

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  • 1 decade ago

    Out of respect for your husband if he is uncomfortable with it, I would say let the friendship so.

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  • 1 decade ago

    There is nothing wrong with having a guy friend to talk to. But if you are going to remain faithful to your husband, keep your conversations clean.

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  • 1 decade ago

    It's not cheating, you're just friends. I suggest you and your friend should discontinue telling your significant other about each other.

    Because if you continue this, they might think that you really like your friend badly.

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  • 1 decade ago

    it is cheating even if you have both told every one involved , sorry but this sounds like the end of one of your relations ships .it is up to you which one if it is not to late

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