How do I be a good girlfriend AND a good best friend?

My best friend wrote me a letter a few days ago telling me how much she misses me because lately she been feeling so distant from me. I have a boyfriend now and I really like him, but he says that he doens't think I'm same anymore...

He says that he feels more distant from me too.

I am only one person. I can't please everyone. My best friend wants so much from me, and my boyfriend wants so much from me, but I can't please them both. My best friend means the WORLD to me but I LOVE my boyfriend. I'm not going to leave one of them so how do I be a good girlfriend and a good best friend at the same time?

Before you tell me to do sleep with him or do anything sexual with him I'm telling you right now that I'm NOT going to.

Update:

I dont mean looks, but thanks anyways. I already do all those things but it's still not working =[

I'm not clingy but my bf thinks that I dont spend enough time with him and he thinks I'm with my friends too much.... but my friends think I'm with him too much and not with them enough.

I need help with that.

My bf and I dont talk on the fone, we only see each other at school during break, before school, and after school... we live RIGHT down the street from each other and we STILL dont see eachother unless we're at school.

=[[

10 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    How to be a Awsome Girlfriend :)

    1. Try to look your best when around him. You don't have to be dressed up, just be dressed nicely. The key is to look good without looking like you tried to look good.

    2. Go light on the make up. If you wear make up,try not to wear a lot or at least try to make it look "natural". Most men don't like their girlfriends to wear make up and prefer to think that their good looks are naturally there.

    3. Have a positive attitude. If everything you say around him is a criticism or an attack, he will not look forward to seeing you. However, you don't always have to agree with him just because he is your boyfriend.

    4. Make your desires, needs, and opinions known, even when they may conflict with his. Acting like you exist solely to please him will get you no respect and may even make him bored with your company. Showing that you are your own person with your own needs, desires, and approach to life will keep him interested in getting to know and understand you as a person.

    5. Learn the date of his birthday , so you can always send him a nice card, and perhaps a small gift. Remember, that you enjoy when he gives you gifts, and he feels the same way.

    6. When you meet his family, be polite and sincere. Be friendly with his friends, and introduce him to yours. Let him feel that he is a part of your life, just as he makes you feel a part of his.

    7. Give him his 'space', and allow him to spend time with the 'guy's when he wants to. Do not always feel you have to hang around with him. Set a day where you two go out to dinner and a movie or even skating, and spend other times with friends.

    8. Don't try "too hard". Attend to the details above, but still be yourself. Do not make it seem like you are trying too hard to be someone you are not.

    Tips

    * Become best friends. Any relationship that is based on true friendship, is bound to last.

    * Do not nag him, or ask him 'where he was', when he was not with you.

    * Spend time alone with your own girlfriends. Do not lose them, just because you have a boyfriend.

    Warnings

    * Don't exaggerate on being "loving" to him, or he'll feel suffocated and won't like to stay with you. Also, don't be too clingy.

    * Use compliments and questions to make him comfortable, just don't exaggerate.

    Source(s): I hope this helps, good luck :)
  • 1 decade ago

    This is a tough situation. They both want you all to themselves. How about spending time with both of them at the same time? We used to take my best friend to the movies and to dinner with us. We always had a great time, but your boyfriend has to be really good at not making her feel uncomfortable. He has to be willing to put forth the effort to make her feel welcome into the group.

    Since you said both the best friend and the boyfriend said they felt distant from you, I wonder if there is something else going on in your life? Are you in activities that take time away from them? Perhaps you are already living with a strapped schedule and it does not have anything to do with having to choose between them.

    Another fun idea, although it does not involve spending time with her, is to start a journal notebook. I used to do with with my best friend, too, and it was fun because it kept us up on everything and made us feel close when we did not have a ton of time to be spending together. We would take a notebook and write notes to each other, then pass it back and forth when we would pass in the hallway. It was better than just regular notes because we had everything in one spot and had fun referring back to inside jokes and stuff. One sememster that was really slow, we had two going so we could each be writing in it.

    Basically, just let them each know how special they are to you and let them know that you are going to try to find a way to make it work. Sometimes just hearing it can make things feel better.

  • 1 decade ago

    You need to make time for both---you can be a good friend and a girl friend too--just schedule the times wisely---tell them you are feeling stressed over the fact that they are both asking too much of you --that's not fair to you and tell them if they really cared then they will back off and stop with the demands--if they really care then they will if not then get away from both of them---relationships shouldn't make you feel stressed they should make you happy---and you too need to be happy--

  • 1 decade ago

    Don't pick a guy over a girlfriend. Neither of them should be putting pressure on you, they should both be supporting your relationship with the other. If you are not stressed out you will be a much better friend and girlfriend. You need time for yourself. Do what your gut is telling you and don't let either of them walk on you.

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  • duque
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    basically tell Her Too save Her nostril Out What is going On between You And Your lady chum Has no longer something Too Do along with her! and easy something happens between Her And Your lady chum basically go away It they're going to Make Up basically make constructive this is not Very extreme! yet basically Make It clean Too Your Girlfriends chum That If She keeps out of your Buisness you will save Out Of Hers!! straightforward! :) Ox

  • 1 decade ago

    People can eat up your time if you let them. Don't let them. It's your life if they are making it complicated take two steps back.

    Sometimes best friends stab you in the back.

    Boyfriends can burn up your time and not even care for you.

    Good luck and happy motoring.

  • 1 decade ago

    make a schedule they can both agree on and maybe try going out and spending time with both of them together but always always remeber men come and go a true friend is priceless.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    3-way

  • 1 decade ago

    just be urself....and be honest with yourself.....everything will fall in place

  • 1 decade ago

    I suggest that you should plan out ur time more clearly you know wut im saying? sorry if my advice not that helpful=[ best of luck=]

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