Any advice is welcome. Neighbor not speaking to me.?

Down the street, a manipulative neighbor who always snubs me when she is mad at our mutual friend. Our mutual friend is a very simple minded innocent person who doesn't really do anything wrong to Ms. Manipulative Hypochondriac. Eventually Ms. Innocent forgives Ms. Manipulative but now I am still being snubbed by the manipulative one and the mutual friend says I have to "be nice." Say what? How am I involved in this at all? All I am is associated with Ms. Innocent. Now even my child is being treated rudely... and honestly it is our association with Ms. Innocent who truly is dumb and innocent, that Ms. Hypochondriac does not like. I have to live on this street and it's getting very uncomfortable. I despise this hypochondriac now, just because of this stupid behavior.


Because we have this mutual friend I have to see Ms. Hypochondriac. Otherwise I could ignore her completely forever.

Update 2:

You know, my first instinct was to back off from Ms. Innocent since she must get something out of being a doormat... but then her father died and her husband almost died... Mrs. Hypochondriac wouldn't help because she was pouting and I was the only one who took care of Ms. Innocent's dog, put out her candles when the ambulance came and she had to run out... and so on... believe me, I am ready to walk away from both of them but I don't have the heart to leave Ms. Innocent in this time of need, although Ms. Hypochondriac is not helping at all and Ms. Innocent is sucking up to her and trying to keep her happy. It's all very unhealthy.

18 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Life is about finding Peace.Years ago my mom told me "If a thing is taking away from your Peace and not adding anything positive to your life--then you have to separate yourself from that thing."

    You deserve a Peaceful Home. Therefore, my advise is to tell you that this friendship with Ms Innocent is not worth all of this drama and pain. Its time to gently pull yourself away from Ms Innocent & Ms Hypo: Let them make each other miserable and leave you out of it..

    Stop acepting Ms Innocents phone calls, and make new friends. She's bringing drama into your life that you dont need. For her to tell you to "be nice" while you are feeling pain is selfish and shallow. Eventually, you'll get over Ms Hypo not speaking to you, and you'll not even notice she is there.

    Wash those dramaqueens out of your hair, and move on to Peace on 2007. Make THAT one of your New Years Resolutions and stick with it.

  • 1 decade ago

    You are allowing Ms. Manipulative Hypochondriac to manipulate you.....

    Since you seem to not like this person and you view them as not truly worthy of your friendship - ignore the snubs.

    People only have as much power over you as you allow them to have. If you continue to allow Ms HM to cause you grief you are giving her your power.

    You can be as polite to her as you would a total stranger, for example if you pass her on the sidewalk say hello and keep walking, or if you see her at a PTA meeting and she greets you nod and smile. But other than things like that have nothing to do with her. Make her invisible on your things that count list.

    teach your children to react in a similar way - they do not need to be rude back, just treat this lady like she was a total stranger.

    When Ms Innocent begins sharing information about Ms HM act like you don't even know who she is talking about and say nothing. If you have to respond say OH?

  • 1 decade ago

    You can just point out to ms. Innocent that you do value her friendship and would like to continue being her Friend, however it would be more comfortable for you if you could maintain your friendship separate from that of hers and Ms. Hypochondriac. Respect that they are friends and it is completely uncalled for to be bad mouthing her in the presence of Ms. Innocent.

    You don't have to like everybody, you don't have to get along with everybody, but opinions are often best left kept to yourself.

  • 1 decade ago

    Continue being kind to Ms. Inno, especially during her bad patch. Try to reason with Ms. Hypo, or at least to bury the hatchet. If she won't hear of it, then just be cordial to her (enough to keep her from being ugly to your child) and assure her that you won't stand for her or anyone else she's buddy-buddy with mistreating your child.

    If it becomes too much of a burden for you to be friendly toward Ms. Inno, back off. Mature grown-ups don't carry-on like that. Consider what you're teaching your child in your dealings with both Ms. Inno and Ms Hypo and govern yourself accordingly.

    I'm sorry you have to deal with such drama in your neighborhood. Women can be so-o petty and catty... Good luck!

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  • Gayle
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Your neighbour would have to comply to building regulations even if planning permission was not needed, so must have submitted something to the council.Your seller should have known this and should have disclosed the fact to you.Who owns the boundary wall.If it is you, or is shared then they should have informed you for permission.If it's their's then there's nothing you can do about that

  • 1 decade ago

    I would tell Ms nice to stop being a fence sitter!

    Either that or I would move out.

    Screw trying to feel comfortable in your own home when that shize is going on.

    Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    I agree with the mutual friend, but take it a step further - kill Ms. Manipulative with kindness. Of course, only when you have to. I don't think you should go out of your way AT ALL to be friends with such a petty person. Be nice to her when you see her, but don't go out of your way to seek her out.

  • 1 decade ago

    She obviously has good instincts. Just listen to your set up to the question. You can hear the resentment in your words when talking about this neighbor.

    For neighborhood safety or less drama, offer to start over or steer clear of each other.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    once she starts treating my child rudely that's different. have a little talk with ms. manipulative and tell her treating you one way is one thing but not your child, explain to her you will not put up with her behavior. then tell ms. innocent that if she wants to talk to her go right ahead but you will not put up with someone who wants her *** kissed. be quite about it, no yelling but firm. screw her.

  • 1 decade ago

    Not much you can do except to try and reason with the manipulative person. Just avoid them as much as you can, but be cordial when confronted.

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