Why should women have children just to turn around and dump them is day care?

Please tell me why a single women or married couple chooses to have babies when they know they have to put them into day care, some as early as 6 weeks old? First, why would you want someone else raising your child? Second, why would you want some stanger instilling their values and morals into your child? Third, these kids are in day care from about 7am to 5-6 pm, (even when their sick) the parents pick them up feed them dinner, give them a bath and have them in bed by 8pm. Wow 3-4 hours a day spent with your child and it's not even quality time. These same women who have these kids then turn around and complain that day care is to expensive and they can't afford it. So please explain to me why anyone single women or married couple would want to have a child if they are just going to dump it into day care and have someone else raise it?

Update:

Yes, I know women who become single have no choice and they need to put them in daycare but what about the people who are planning on having a baby and know for a fact that they have to put that child in daycare in order to provide for it. I know you will never have "enough' money to provide for a child but don't you think they need to think it through before having a baby and putting it in day care.

Update 2:

Yes! I am a single parent and no I never had to put my child in day care nor would I ever! No! I do not collect government aid!

21 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I have a friend who just had a baby in Sept. and she's putting him in daycare next week. She's one of these "I'm a better Mom because I breastfed" types. Yet, she is sticking her kid in daycare where total strangers will raise him for her. I don't get it either. But, I heard someone say something that I think fits perfectly. "Some women like the notion of being called a Mom, but don't like the reality of it." There is proof that children who spend time in daycare do not bond with their parents as well as kids who parents stay home. My husband and I work opposite schedules so we are home with the kids. Take responsibility and adjust your lifestyle for your children.

  • Well I am one of those women and I can tell you it sucks. We found out we were having a baby AFTER we started building a house. Had we known we were pregnant we woul dhave stayed in the other cheaper house so I could stay home. However, we are where we are, and now we are postioing ourselves to stay home with the next baby permanently. Things happen. My son is only in until 2PM, and he is in a woman's home, not an industrial daycare. You are right that daycare is horrible, but there are some benefits. My 8 months old is far more sociable and smart than his peers who only see one person all day. He is talking quicker and has learned to appreciate things that I wouldn't necessarily expose him to becasue the woman is a differnt culture than us. He loves to try new foods and isn't picky like other kids. And he has learned to be patient, which is something is peers who are the only child and with the mom all day have no concept of. Although staying home with mom is the ideal and I would prefer it, daycare isn't the total devil you make it out to be, if not abused (and I consider the hours you mentioned abusing it!). So undertand that life throws you curve balls once in a while and you have to make the best of it.

  • m930
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I'm a stay at home Mom and work weekends, so we avoid the daycare for now... but there are several different reasons why people have their child in daycare. A. maybe it's a single parent going to school... or one parent works and the other is in school. B. two incomes is always more helpful than one. C. a lot of woman feel if they don't have a job to help support them, what will they have if their spouse ends up leaving them? D. By working, it gets all bills paid. E. Some parents just can't handle being stay at home Mom's or Dad's.

    For myself and my husband, he doesn't make a whole lot of money, and I hate that we are tight on money, but at the same time, my job right now isn't enough- if I were to work all the time, the majority of my money would be going to daycare, so in the end, it would be ridiculous for me to work and pay for daycare... so I stay at home and work weekends to help pay my bills and a few others. This is what works for us... and I really really enjoy taking care of our son- I'd love to be strictly a stay at home mommy, but we can't afford that just yet. I would also like to go back and finish up schooling so I can have a better job and help support my family. Now I'm torn on this issue because I seriously want to be home with my son alll the time... but there is a time when he is going to go to school, so I have to do something by then at least. But if we do ever have another child, I'd love to be home with him/her as well. Just realize there are certain reasons parents NEED daycare, and there are some benefits to daycare as well- learning, learning to share, more friends and kids to play with, etc.

    Source(s): Mommy of 14 month old
  • 1 decade ago

    I think some parents truly must keep the two incomes to make ends meet, BUT...my theory is that many, many kids in day care don't have to be. Instead of blaming the parents, I have a theory that it's our society at fault. As one person wrote, she didn't even think of this til you asked the question. When I had my first baby, I didn't know ANY stay home moms. I went back to work in great emotional pain because somehow I didn't think to just quit and do without some luxuries. Everyone went back to work...or so I thought. When I finally quit, my son was 2, and it was an ENORMOUS burden off my shoulders. I was scared I would be alone, but I met tons of other educated women home with their children. I was immediately happy with my decision, and never looked back. Sure we thought we couldn't handle it financially, but we did. No day care expense, no work wardrobe to buy, no commuting costs, etc. I feel sorry, 16 years later, that my son was ever in day care.

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  • 4 years ago

    I'm sure glad that dreamers like you are not on any jury, as you seem to be of the hanging judge mentality. You were not at the trial, did not hear the evidence, for or against, and never met Casey nor her family, so who in the hell are you to judge. Thankfully we have guarantees written into the constitution that protects the accused from people like you and guarantees them a fair trial by a jury of he peers,which she received. This jury was selected after long and tedious interview, gave many days and hours of their time, listened to both side of the story and agreed on a verdict without too much discussion, feeling the prosecution did not meet the standards of "guilt beyond a reasonable doubt, when they could not even show the actual cause of death. No smoke and mirrors, just facts, and the lack of.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hmmm..wonder if you've ever had children? Your question leads me to believe no. First of all, I don't know what society you live in, but where I live, things cost money. And in order to have money, we need to work. I don't see however, why the need to work, suddenly means that I cannot have children. This is no longer the 1950's where a gallon of gas cost a nickle and milk was 10 cents a gallon. Have you noticed the price of gas and milk lately???

    But I digress from my rant. My husband and I made a conscious decision to start a family knowing full well that both of us are going to still have to work (as does 85% of the rest of the country by the way). And to further expound, we both have used cars, we do NOT have a 3,000 sq. ft. house (it's roughly 1,100 sq. ft.), we DO NOT take fabulous vacations (unless you count the two days spent in the hammock and the kiddie pool in the back yard), we rarely, if ever, go out to eat (unless you count the trip to McDonald's while Christmas shopping), we shop at consignment stores or the Salvation Army......my list goes on. I take great offense at someone else PRESUMING to know what my life is like and that I am short changing my son because he needs to be in daycare while my husband and I work. I agree with an earlier post who said something to the effect that when kids start to eat, they usually continue. Clothing isn't free. Neither are the doctor's appointments, the shoes, the milk, the juice, the school books, the toys, etc. etc etc. And I haven't even touched on health insurance. Do you have ANY idea how much it takes to have health coverage for an entire family????? In order to have adequate coverage, both of us HAVE to work! Otherwise, if one parent was carrying the whole cost, there would be no paycheck!!

    Our society has made it a virtual requirement for both parents to work. I only know of two people in my office who are fortunate to be able to live on one income - it is the company president and vice president!

    And while I may only get a few hours with my son in the evening, I make sure that they are the best few hours of the day. And lets not forget that we have our weekends.

    This comment has just really hacked me off...and usually I don't get into these diatribes because, well frankly, it's just not worth it. I do however take exception at someone who has not "walked a mile in my shoes" or anyone else's for that matter to make a comment about the parenting skills of families that need 2 incomes.

    Yes, I would love to be able to stay home with my son. In fact, I know my husband would love the same opportunity. It's funny, I always thought I wanted a full time job, turned out all I really wanted was the paycheck. And to those Moms and Dads who are fortunate enough to stay at home, I am wicked jealous of you and congratulate you!

    And to you, oh-asker-of-the-incendiary-question, I truly hope that you are one of the fortunate ones who doesn't have to make a choice between working and staying home, because it truly is a gift. However, as the working masses show, the reality is that you will more than likely have to be a working parent like the rest of us. Wonder what you'll think of daycare then????

    Well, bully for you that you have found a way to work and have a child. Who takes care of your child? Family? Friends? Instead of knocking those of us who DON'T have family or friends willing or able to watch our children, count your blessings that you do. Not all of us are that lucky.

    Source(s): Trying to be a good mom, a good wife and a good employee every day!
  • Amelia
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Good question. I don't get it either. I used to work daycare while I was in college. Many of the kids were in our care 12 hours a day. We knew of one family that was actually very well off. Both parents did NOT need to work. They actually adopted their baby. That little girl was in our care 10 hours a day and then one day the mom tells us they have a weekend nanny so they can go do their own thing and take trips and such!! I so wanted to ask why she bothered adopting. But it was obvious that it was just a status thing for them. It was sad.

    I realize we don't know all situations. You never know all the facts or why people do what they do. But I do often wonder why people CHOOSE to start a family when they know they will have to resort to daycare. It just doesn't make sense.

  • KathyS
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Who do you think you are? MOST people have to work..they have no choice. Daycare was a great experience for my first child when I had to work. The caregivers were a positive influence and my child made some life long friends that today, at the age of 12, still talks to. No parent has a child JUST to put them in daycare so your thinking is immature and unjustified.

  • 1 decade ago

    wow. your just asking for trouble asking a question like that. im a stay at home mom but i have the up most respect for the single mothers and working moms all around the world. its must be hard for them to hand off there child to other people. but they do make sure that these daycares are clean and the children are well taken care of. and the few hours that they do have with there children during the day is quality time. bath time is the best time of the day for my children they just love playing in the tub with there toys and bubbles and soap crayons. and bed time is very sweet. we read stories to our children kiss them and tuck them in. they love it. im sure children of working moms act the same way and enjoy it just as much. working mothers usually don't have a choice but to put there children in day care. and yes they know this going in but its a small price to pay for a beautiful child of there own. you don't have a right to judge these women you should respect them for the sacrafice they make everyday.

  • 1 decade ago

    I was lucky enough to be able to take time to raise my kids. We had a home that was paid for , so I stayed home with my kids until each of them was three years old. Unfortunately, in this day and age it usually takes 2 incomes to pay for a home...or rent...etc. And some people don't have a choice. Either they are divorced, widowed partner is laid off..etc.

    Some folks don't have a parent who is able to watch the children while they work..etc.

    Or you can blame it on the american way of life, including the fact that we are one of the only industrialized countries that does not give 6-12 months of PAID leave to a parent for being with a newborn.

  • 1 decade ago

    I am privelged enough to be at home with my children. Not everyone is that lucky. My husband has a good job with great benefits. These days that is hard to come by. It takes a two person income to support a household now a days.

    It's not the amount of time you spend, it's the quality. I know many working moms that have happy well adjusted kids and I know stay at home moms who have hellions and do not spend ANY QUALITY time with them.

    It goes both ways. Your question sounds very stereotypical and judgemental. Worry about how you want to raise your own kids and let everyone else raise their own.

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