bobby s asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

I can accept that other people hurt me, but I am unable to hurt them in return?

People can hurt me, I can manage that, but I don't why I am unable to hurt them in return ..instead I try to draw them to me to see if we can get friends to show to them that I am not their ennemy , and that I want to be friend too ..why am like that ...? I sometimes suffer ...people used to do me a lot of bad things ..but, I am unable to react severely sometimes, although , it is unacceptable ...how to heal from this behavior ...? how to get out of myself when I need it ..?

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  • sml
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    you can't change people until then want change; you don't need to stand there and just take the hurt for hurt sake; glad that you don't need to hurt back to feel big; ;move on, they have issues and need to grow in their time; when you hurt people back you are keeping the anger , resentment etc in your heart which only hurts you; move on , heal , and find some happiness don't dwell in the gutter with them; rise above the nonsense and make a great life for yourself; they have to answer for their actions, you have to answer for yours and yours only.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    There is nothing wrong with not wanting to hurt people back, our world would be a much more wonderful place if there were more people like you that dont have to see a tit for tat in everything. I would love to see you grow more confidence in yourself though. Find some friends that will nurture this nature in you, rather than abuse and hurt you. You deserve more from your friends, or should I say so called friends, only you can command that respect for yourself by walking away from those that dont love and appreciate you for who you are.

  • 1 decade ago

    Revenge never pays.

    And the only reason that people hurt you is because you allow it.

    You hand over the power to them when you allow other's to hurt you.

    We've all been hurt by people in our lives, and it is especially painful when it is a person we love.

    You are better off for not acting severely to hurtful comments and actions of others.

    The best course of action to save your sanity is to ignore those who wish you harm.

    Don't dwell on painful comments or incidents.

    You are a good and strong person and you do not deserve to be treated with less than respect.

    Learn to pity those who cause you pain, for it is a sign of something lacking in them, not you.

    And if you can forgive those who hurt you, then you will begin to heal.

    Ignore rude and disrespectful people, but try to forgive them in your mind and heart and then let it go.

    Remember the old saying, "The faults that we see in others are the very same faults we ourselves possess."

    And, there's no need for you to accept being hurt.

    Learn to ignore it.

    Your question proves that you are a considerate, sensitive and caring person, and you do deserve better!

    Don't let people have the power over your feelings!

  • 1 decade ago

    No matter how mean people are to you, there is no justification for you to do the same to them. You are really blessed to have a character like that. I know how you feel because i just can't be horrible to people, even when they are to me. But after having people take me for granted for most of my life, i began to forcefully cultivate the habit of telling people when they hurt me. If they apologize it's ok, if they don't i keep my distance from them. I've learned over the years the terrible effect bad friends have. Friends are there for you to remember good times with. Do you want all your memories of your life to be of how people took you for granted? Find real friends who won't hurt you so much. Also talk to your friends about their habits & how it affects you. Tell them to change their habits toward you or lose your friendship. You may be surprised that they'd rather lose you than change.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    This seems to be some sort of co dependance issue, you care about others but not yourself.

    Also low self esteem, you need some sort of therapy or councelling to boost your confidence.

    true friends shouldn't hurt you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    you are not the one that needs to heal. it's the ones that hurt you that have a problem. they need to learn to forgive just as you do. good luck to you. God bless you for being the way you are and have a happy , blessed Christmas.

  • 1 decade ago

    Great quality. Please do nothing to change this. People spend their entire life to acquire that quality. Please avoid the situations or the persons who may hurt you. In the long run you will be respected by others.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    you possess a quality that most people wish they had. Keep it up, but don't let people walk all over you.

  • 1 decade ago

    You get what you give. Keep it up and you will get what you deserve.

  • 1 decade ago

    Please consider getting some new friends.

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