I am very depressed. Help!?

I liked a girl for long time and she seemed to reciprocate the feelings but when I tried to start a conversation, she refused to even talk to me. Initially I was trying to forget her as jerk as her response was not polite. But now I came to know that she is having a secret affair with someone from my office for sometime and they are about to marry. I am not sure when this started.

It has really made me too sad. I think of her all the time and feel depressed when I think that she loves someone else. Had I got any hint, I'd have not gone ahead.

What do I do? How do I overcome this. Can you help?

13 Answers

  • yishor
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I've been in a similar situation before.

    First of all, get out of the house and switch your mind to something else as much as possible. Go out with your friends, get a new hobby (one that involves being around people), get involved with a charitable organization. All of these not only will help you get over her faster, but will also strengthen your other relationships and potentially let you meet good new people.

    Secondly, you and I both know that no matter how much you try not to think about her, you still will at first. So as you think about her and what possibly could have been, it's time to realize that you may have idolized her a little bit. You thought she was this wonderful, perfect person, but she obviously didn't treat you with respect, like someone who's wonderful and perfect would. So understand that your image of her and the true her are actually quite different. She's not who you thought she was. Let her go after whoever she wants. You'll find a better one, someone who's real.

    Once you've thought about this, go back out and spend more time with good old friends and with new people you meet.

    This time will pass. If you need to mourn for a little bit, do it, get it out of your system. Just don't get stuck in this place emotionally. Life goes on. And, who knows, maybe today is the day you'll meet the person you were meant to be with? Stay encouraged, stay positive, learn from this and don't get too emotionally attached to people until you really get to know them.

    Take care.

    Source(s): P.S. I read through your best answers and I am really impressed. You are a very nice and positive guy. I especially liked the way you encouraged the girl who thought she was a looser. Sometimes I am reminded that the painful experiences we go through in life, bring us closer to understanding other people. Stay strong my brother, and dig deep to rediscover the optimism that I've seen in your answers.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I have been hurt by women a couple of times, and at the time i feel like ill never meet anyone again and ill never get over them.. But the fact is and i know u wont feel this right now but the fact is life goes on.. u WILL get over her and you WILL meet someone else... but in the mean time you MUST just go out on the weekends enjoy your self go to a club or pub where there will be lots of beautifull women and you might even meet someone if not just think of anything except for her.... you'll be ok.. i know its not easy but in the end everything will be ok..... good luck mate

  • 1 decade ago

    Think positive thoughts! Use the same theory as when you check the mail and you know there is just going to be bills you feel down! But if you went to check the mail with a positive feeling of maybe I will have a check in there!

    You would be feeling on top of the world.

    it boils down to this. If you show signs and feelings to other people and yourself that you are negitive and down you will have poor outcomes on life. However, if you show signs of being positive and not just to impress someone for a day. I mean be positive everyday to yourself and others around you and you will see a major change in your life!

    Trust me you can use this on any situation and in due time you will have everything going your way and you will be feeling great!

    Take care and good luck!

    Source(s): First hand personal knowledge
  • 1 decade ago

    Get a grip of yourself man, life is to short & there are plenty more fish in the sea. You just enjoy life & that special lady will come along one day and then you will live happily ever after. Merry christmas & all the best for the new year.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    she seems like a real b#@$% to me. she was playing games with you and was mean to you. if she was having a secret affair, then odds are that this marriage will crumble. she may come running back to you for comfort and to see if you still like her. you had no relationship with her or anything, it would be best to hold your head up high and find a girl that treats you right. you will feel so much better and have more respect for yourself if your not being treated like dirt. in the end you'll be the one smiling.

  • 1 decade ago

    for many years I suffered from Major depression. In your situation, I think the best thing you can do is "Learn to let go". Easier said than done, but you must or you will become very sick. If things get to bad, seek help from a therapist or Doctor. Those people are trained individuals that know how to help. Talking about it helps too. It will get better. Thanks and good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    I found that music helped my mood. Favorites include:

    - Love's a ***** by Quiet Riot

    - Don't go away made, just go away by Motley Crue

    - D!ck in the dirt by Sammy Hagar

    The music is even more effective in a convertible with the top down on a sunny day.

  • 1 decade ago

    you seems to be a nice guy so it's her lose not yours, you should move on she doesn't deserve you.

    when you see her tel your self that she doesn't deserve you and that you are better than this. don't look at her as a nice lady

    don't be too hard on your self about it, when you feel bad try to talk to a friend with open heart

    besides she's not the last woman on earth, one day you will find the right one for you.

    if you like we can talk about it till you feel better

    Good Luck and Merry Christmas

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Give it some time

    Very important to go out with friends and make new connections, even if you don't think you want to

    make a few new friends if possible

    Also do some things for yourself that will make you feel good.

    Get some new cloths, get a haircut, grow a goatee, or shave it. just do something different.

  • 1 decade ago

    i can't help but you can help yourself. tell yourself to get over it. Get out and meet other people. there are more deserving people out there that will like you back, if you only you give yourself and others a chance. she is having a secret affair??? doesn't that spell TROUBLE for you? take it as a blessing that you found out about her little secret and is not involved with her...learn to count your blessings pal

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