Does my jealousy cause this ?

I have recentlly got a green eye that will not stop. My boyfriend sneaks around the apartment with an attractive girl he just wants to be friends with...I see him down in the boiler room with her at 11 40 pm (he goes there to smoke and invited her down there) after he didnt awnser his phone and lied to me about what he was doing ---he says because I am jealous and would freak out. I only get jealous when he turns off his phone and doesnt talk to me. I am at my wits end...I love him we have a daughter together and he tells me I am just jealous and caging him in. The women he meets as friends are all attractive..and he hides them from me because of my supposed jealousy. What am I suppose to do..please consider carefully what would you do if your husband/common law husband was like this?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    He is a boy in a man's body. He does not have the backbone to do what a husband/father should. He sounds selfish and incredibly inconsiderate of your feelings. I'd usually advise that you ask him to put himself in your shoes, how he would feel if you were doing this. But at this point, I believe that would be a waste of time. It sounds like he will defend his behavior to all ends and will be incapable of being anything other than a jerk. Please don't say you're staying with him because of the money or, worse yet, because you have a child with him. And don't say you're staying because you 'love' him. He's not worth it. Move on to a man who will be a man.

  • 1 decade ago

    This is an alarm for you, so become active and react strongly. There are chances that certain elements that binds husband and wife are missing. He is looking outside for the missing element. You need to open up, communicate with your husband and may need councelling. I do not know for how long this has been happening but if you have observed it very recently, its not too late, otherwise you are likely to be heading for a family breakup.

    Do not delay, do what ever you can do to get back to communication. Also, if this has been happening for quite some time say few years, then this situation is going worsen with the time, and better would be get out of this relationship.

  • jude
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    maybe he gave u a reason to be jealous, jealousy is all about not getting what u need from him, and thinking someone else is getting what is yours. if i had a man like this i would not keep him, not because i didn't love him, but because he has other interests and sooner or later it would begin to affect my life, it would cause certain emotions to come out of me that maybe would make me uncomfortable, and make me feel bad about myself, and cause me to feel bad about myself. your not caging him in, as when we are in a committed relationship that is just what it is suppose to be, doesn't include other women, doesn't include any kind of competition at all really. he seems just too immature to understand how u feel.

  • 1 decade ago

    are you jealous or are you in denial? you know best if he is cheating on you but being paranoid about the situation does not help at all. give him some space and when the time is right, tell him what you really think and feel about his actions. i don't think there is anyway to really solve the problem but being patient and understanding helps. listen to him and try to work out something that works for the both of you. Maybe it's time you do something that will make yourself happy and confident...any man who sees their wives/gfs happy, will naturally feel happy being with them.

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  • LC
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I would say he is up to something and you need to confront him on this?

    What about putting a camara down in the boiling room to catch their activity down there? And around your house to see what's going on when you aren't there?

    I would also start checking his phone records to see who he calls and when.

    Check on him, you will find something.

    Tell him what he is doing is making you uncomfortable and if he doesn't stop you will leave.

  • 1 decade ago

    He finds her more interesting. She's nicer and less judgemental (of course- she doesn't know all the ins and outs). Make a pledge to not nag at him about ANYTHING for 24 hours. Wear something sexy to bed, jump him, and make him breakfast in the morning. Let me know how it goes; I'll check back! Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    you want a man that is committed to you but you moved in with a guy without getting a commitment called a marriage covenant. if he was just a boyfriend like you labeled him it would be time for a breakup and if he is a husband it is time for counseling. you decide which he is

  • 1 decade ago

    He's not ready to settle down with you, he wants his freedom!

    Maybe you should start hanging out with "guy friends", see how he feels about that.

  • 1 decade ago

    He's up to no good. If he's committed to you, he shouldnt have female friends that he invites for "smokes". Sounds fishy

  • 1 decade ago

    just go away from his life. he does not deserve u

    Source(s): i dont know
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