How much is a friend obligated to assist another friend that is financial irresponsible with their money?
My god sons mother always comes to me when she is in any kind of financial trouble. She and I used to be roommates but we each got our own apartments almost 2 years ago. She has come to me asking for money to assist with her rent. Money to buy groceries to feed her self and my god son when she is out. Just last night she asked me to pay her cell phone bill of $57 dollars because she took the money to buy her son a nice christmas present that was on sale. I realize that she is a single mom and is trying to do the best that she can do to raise her child. I am single and I do not have any kids and I know how to save up my money for rainy day expenses. I have tried talking to her numerous times about the importance of saving up money, especially with her being a mom. She will not listen, she says that we are not promised tomorrow and money is meant to be spent. Am I obligated to assist her everytime she asks just because I have the money?? Would I be wrong if I said no once?
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
No you are not obligated!! She needs to be more responsible, especially since she has a child, one she is using to manipulate you. I'm sure you love them both, but you are helping no one by enabling her. She needs to learn to stand on her own! What is she going to do, when you have a family to support and cannot help her so freely? Give a person a fish you feed them for a day, teach them to fish they eat for a lifetime. The baby's father needs to be stepping up, and your friend needs to stop living above her means. If she needs the cell phone then she pays for that first, and gets the child a less expensive gift. This may sound harsh, but she's teaching her child to blow off responsibility, and expect other people to pick up the slack. I'll bet she always has a sob story, but why doesn't she ask for your advice instead of your money? She spends foolishly, and then runs to you to bail her out. You are only hurting her and her child. It may make her mad and she'll say your suppose to be my friend. But sweetie she's suppose to be an adult and a mom.
- 1 decade ago
You are not obligated to give her ANY money. I understand helping a friend in need but sometimes the kindest thing you can do is remove the safety net. As long as she thinks she can come to you to be bailed out she will continue to spend recklessly and without concern. Helping someone should be something you want to do not something you feel burdened by. Your friend is taking advantage of you. Continue to talk to her about managing her money more wisely and if you feel you need to step in for something that will benifit your godson's safety or well-being then do so but otherwise let her deal with the finacial messes she makes.
Also, your friend is right tomorrow is not promised to us, but it's a good idea to be prepared for it because the odds are better of there being a tomorrow that not.
Your friendship may hit a small bump in the road when you take her hand out of your purse but if she is a true friend the friendship mend.
- brandoliniLv 44 years ago
She is being incredibly presumptuous and impolite. She has become a panhandler, and there is not any motive to supply to a panhandler. She is definitely extra thinking about her private reap by way of the prizes than she is in serving to her reason. Simply inform her you should not have any price range to spare for charities this 12 months, you could be pleased if she could donate for your title. For long term reference, and also you could carry this up in dialog, little or no of that money makes it the entire strategy to the charities. It is misplaced purchasing the prizes and the executive expenses, they usually simply do not furnish the largest bang to your charitable greenback. If you rather wish to make her nuts, as her for an knowledge card at the charity software so you'll see the numbers and what kind of will get to the charities. Or inform her you located a position to donate with out such a lot overhead and also you believe you price range will do bigger there.
- SHERRILv 41 decade ago
You saying NO may be just what the Dr. ordered. As long as you keep bailing her out then she will keep getting herself into trouble. Maybe the next time you can say okay but this is the last time. Let me help you set up a budget so that you don't run into so many problems in the future. Then sit down with her and work up a budget.
- How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- INDRAG?Lv 61 decade ago
A long as you are being the ATM machine that never runs out, she can have that care free attitude. Tell her if "money is meant to be spent" go earn her OWN. If you want to buy something for the boy, do so, but close the bank to the moocher.
- 1 decade ago
You're obliged to keep your hand out of your pocket and teach her that money does not come by going to her friend and saying 'give me money'. She won't change if she knows you're going to cave in every time, believe me. When she sees her phone account has been cancelled, she'll understand she has to pay for it. Money does not grow on trees, or on friends.
- 1 decade ago
TELL HER NO!!!
You can not be her mother. Give her a reality check. Tell her to grow up and your funding to her is over.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
tell her you thought her idea about money being meant to be spent so thats what you've been doing therfore leaving you with no money left to give her. see what she does with that. you reap what you sow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!