Define "forsake all others"?

Many women and men alike feel that a married person looking at porn, scantily clad members of the opposite sex, having fantasies, etc are perfectly acceptable. Look but don't touch.

When I took my marriage vows, they included the phrase "forsake all others". Look up the definition of forsake and tell me what this vow means to you?

If you find it meaningless, why did you get married and say the vow?

I have my own opinions on this and I'd like to see if anyone agrees with me.

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer, it's about you and how you feel about these things. If you don't like your hubby looking at porn, it doesn't make you insecure and it doesn't mean you're depriving him of a "God given right as a man". On the same token, If you allow this sort of thing (even if you bring outsiders into the relationship, etc), it does not make you a bad person.

I truely feel both parties have to talk about and agree on these things before marriage. Thoughts?


Really good answers. I'm surprised to see how many people are NOT saying "You're husband looks at porn, you're not his boss, get over it" - or something similar.

I'm also wondering why women in the situation are always told it's their fault? They are too boring or too fat or aren't giving their husband what he needs so he's looking elsewhere. My question is, has the husband even bothered to tell the wife that he is unhappy, my guess is at least 80% of the time, no.

It's also not only one partner's job to save a relationship. You both have a responsibility to communicate your feelings if you're not happy with something and also try to keep the other happy.

Hubby always complains about not getting BJs, but has gone down on me maybe once or twice in over a year... He's had at least 10 since then. Is that fair?

Update 2:

By the way, this isn't necessarily about religion. I don't care what religion you are, if you say these words and swear an oath to them you have to mean them.

17 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I agree with you completely. People nowadays make up their own definitions for words because they want things their way.

    I am not married. But when I do marry, I WILL keep my promises. While it is normal for men and women to notice attractive members of the opposite sex, if you are married and took the vow to forsake all others, then it is WRONG to willfully seek out and lust after others in any way, shape, or form.

    Merry Christmas!

  • 1 decade ago

    I do agree with you!

    On the same line I don't know who wrote those vows! I know it is in the Bible but who's words are they? and are you sure it was their words? I also think that certain meanings of words in that day and age are different from the meanings of the same word in this day and age...

    I believe in a God, yet with all these regilions and what is wrote in the Bible how do I know who God is or what God really stands for? How do I know what it is "God" truely wants me to do or how he wants me to be; How do I know that it just wasn't some person making this stuff up so that we would follow what it was this "person" wanted us to? I don't know, there fore can't and won't, I am not saying the Bible is full of lies, that it is fiction or that someone did or didn't write this just to get us to believe that this is the way and the right way. I am not saying anything other then I question everyone and evrything when it comes to God. I will not quesion him just everyone else.

    How and where does it say that it's o.k. to have all these different religions? That's just it no where dose it say it's right or wrong and if it is documented where's the proof of who said it and what! Peopel lie and have from day one for personal gain...

    I have had my own personal spiritual experience past, present and probably will have in the future and this is why I believe there is a God to begin with, yet I am not sold that it is the one we all read about in the Bible maybe some of it is true maybe none of it is, I know I will not believe everything I read and will wait to see for myslef if I have the opportunity to at the end. Till then I can not follow any one religion or what others write or say if I were I'd almost be doing wrong right there and betraying God ina sence. (Other then the fact I wouldn't and don't know any better and pray I am forgiven). I can not believe in any one story and I can not believe others that tell me they know so much about God and his way b/c why then in the first place are there so many religions to begin with and why do they all think that their religion is the right one, why did people die over reilgion - the God I know isn't like that at all! and he only has one religion, his! Not this or that or the new one that came out last year. We are all Gods children and he accepts us all maybe with conciquences, maybe not!

    Hope that makes sence like it does to me.

  • 1 decade ago

    The issue definitely needs to be brought up--this can be a very painful area for some people.

    If someone is going to say God given right then they need to go and follow what God or the church has said is moral.

    Forsaking all others can also mean forsaking yourself and your physical desires.

    The spouse needs to consider how the other feels about porn--do they feel insecure? Do they think that they are being compared to the pictures? Does it make them feel ugly?

    If someone is hurting their spouse with something then they are forsaking them for their own pleasure.

    One note--all those romance novels that women read are doing the same thing that the porno mags are doing.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think that having fantasies (not always something you can help) and looking at scantily clad members of the opposite sex (people do walk around in like nothing now so it's difficult NOT to look) is okay but porn just seems kind of pathetic.

    I think you're very smart in this though. That 'God given right as a man' stuff is rubbish. Most guys would be furious is their GFs did half the stuff they get away with.

    I think that marriage should be about devotion and love absolute, if people aren't comfortable with either of those things then they have no reason to get married. You're getting married because you want one person, not 20.

    I'm not married but I think you're very smart and your topic is interesting.



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  • 1 decade ago

    Things can change,you're people. What u felt the day u got married may not last.Communication is so important.SOMETIMES U HAVE TO COMPROMISE.If u physically want another ,u shouldn't b married. whats even worse is that u can love others in different ways.Sometimes that can b hard because u can desire another also.If we find ourselves unhappy during the course of our relationship that is the time we should forsake all others .Its part of respect & when we loose that this is usually why people stray.There r times of complete attraction TO SOMEONE ELSE.If u play w/ that u show no loyalty to your other half.It doesn't mean u r a bad person it just means u didn't draw a strong boundery line. People make mistakes. we're human.Living w/ them is what is hard.Some of us can do it,some of us can't.Two people that intend to stay married forever must have bounderies&good communication,love and respect then they can be loyal to each other forsaking all others.I guess thats why it's important to marry your best friend.Faith in God will take care of the rest.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    The definition of life is hard even for biologists. In Biology the definition of life are given by the acronym: REMRING Reproduction Excretion Movement Respiration Irritability Nutrition Growth. Back when I studied Biology, any one of those could define life, for example viruses were considered alive even though all they could do was respire, but fire wasn't considered alive even though it was clearly capable of reproduction, growth and the chemical reaction for combustion is eerily similar to that for respiration. These days I asked on a biology forum about viruses and the consensus was viruses are no longer considered to be alive. However on another web site there is debate that viruses are alive when inside a cell but not when they are outside a cell. This brings us back to the question how is an active virus alive but not a computer virus since a computer virus is self replicating within the medium of the operating system in reproducing it uses energy as electrons need to change the position of logic gates from on to off. So now we have established that even amongst the scientific community there is no consensus about what defines life - let's look at the religious. Genesis 1:30 30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground--everything that has the breath of life in it--I give every green plant for food." And it was so. In ancient times the word breath was considered synonymous with life as a person was discovered to be dead when they stop breathing, this definition then would at first glance mean single celled organisms and multicellular creatures that do not breathe to not be alive - thus excluding fish, plants and most insects. However in Genesis we read that the Lord gave man the breath of life, therefore the breath of life has nothing to do with actually breathing but has to do with a metaphysical thing that was given from the divine that sets that which is alive apart from that which isn't. It is no coincidence that in both ancient Hebrew and ancient Greek the word breath is the same as the word spirit (Heb Ruach, Grk Pneuma) which also by the way means wind. If we then take the definiton of the "breath of life" as a metaphysical "spirit", then we have a metaphysical definition of life which cannot be falsified and therefore cannot be analysed scientifically but can be analysed religiously, from the interpretation of dogma. Life then from a Christian perspective then is metaphysical and is that which possesses a spirit. A spirit is that which is sent from God to animate an inanimate object temporarily and upon the death of the living organism returns to God. Though useful for religious discussion this definition is useless from a scientific perspective as it cannot be measured, quantified or falsified.

  • 1 decade ago

    Forsake allother means to give up to leave. God gave us a concience and most of it that are spiritually inclined are away of that feeling. The question is do you feel good about the things that you do in bed , watch, etc. You are living inside of you and God said the bed is undefiled. Believe this we are in the human flesh and it was born to sin and the feeling and emotions has to be controlled by the spirit of God are we will say anything or do anything that's just the way sin is pray about what you are feeling and if it's in line with God then do it. You can both agree to do a sinful thing if you both feel really strongly about it. We are here to judge ourselves and not other if we see our friends or family in a faults we should pray for them and love and encourage them. Vows are very important to God. We have to be delivered from not just things and other people , but sometimes from ourselves God bless you on your journey.

  • stacy
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    i do believe that forsaking all others does not literally mean that. because god will not ask you to 'entirely leave' your parents, siblings, friends, etc. What I perceive it to mean is that after marriage the one you marry now has priority above all else.

    I do agree with you that two parties need to sit and lay down the boundaries before marriage. It reduces the risk of arguments later on.

    I do not believe in looking at porn, perusing wnat ads etc. If you are truely satisfied in your relationship there should be no need to experimant or see what's out there.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    In the Bible, if one chooses to use that perspective, it says that by looking at another with lust we have committed adultery in our hearts. Even if you choose not to use this reasoning, if you love and honor your spouse something should feel wrong when/if you look at another person in a sexual way. There is something inherently disrespectful to your spouse in that. Considering it(pornography) is a growing concern amongst married couples, it might behoove people to talk honestly about such things beforehand. It might be a good idea to talk about everything beforehand, and to learn how to communicate with each other. Marriage is supposed to be a sacred commitment between two people, the least we could do is go in mindful of that.

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't need to look it up, I've lived it.

    Forsaking all others means, that you don't let any one or any thing come between the 2 of you.

    When you took your vows, you promised yourselves to each other.

    Not family, friends, or even porno.

    Men, and women, look at porno to find what they don't have at home.

    If you want to look at a naked body, look at your spouse.

    All bodies have basicly the same eqipment.

    If it's something different you both need, then do something different, together.

    Pornography leads to cheating, which leads to divorce.

    Change things in your intimacy. Get kinky

    Save your marriage while you still can. Now!!!!!

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