How to get his wife to leave me alone??

I am 36 year old woman who is love with her husband ,happily married , and I have four kids .I have one skeleton in my closet though my eldest sons biological father is not my husband.His biological father was my first love and childhood friend who i dated from middle school through highschool we were both pretty wild and partied a lot at the time and he was not ready to be a parent so he left but paid childsupport.Our neighbors of the past 6 or 7 years have been my sons biological father and his new wife.Was never an issue i began going out for cofee with my ex. once in a while mainly to talk about our son nothing more (my hubby was aware).His wife was never told that he had a child and when she found out she raised hell on me.She has been making my life misreable over this even at church functions.


My son was concieved before he even met her!I dont understand why she is mad at me and not her husband?

Update 2:

She has been publicly humiliating me so much my hubby and i are considering moving back to staten Island!

14 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    First, stop meeting the ex in person, becasue she is obviously not mature enough to handle that. Discuss your son over the phone and allow her to listen on speakerphone if necessary...that way she can be sure.

  • wrkey
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Here's my thoughts. His wife is furious because of the years of deceiption. Ya'll have been living as neighbors for years and he has been paying child support and all this time his wife was never told. He has been lying to her and you have been lying to her. I can certainly see why she is hurt, angry and spiteful.

    Now.. do you resolve this. First I suggest you tell your ex-husband that any conversations that are to be held about the child you share will only be done in the presents of your current husband and/or his wife. Secondly, you stated that sha causes problems at church functions which tell me that you both possibly attend the same church. As the minister there at the church to help you resolve this. Tell him everything up front and be honest in a one on one. Then ask him to mediate and help resolve the problem.

    Hope this helps!

  • 1 decade ago

    She obviously feels threatened by you. Honestly, I would probably raise an eyebrow if my husband didn't tell me about having a child before we got married, and then regularly goes on coffee dates with his ex-wife. It appears he's trying to hide something. It's probably easier for her to take it out on you than face the real issue that her husband has not been truthful with her. I would try to bury the hatchet and invite her to join the both of you for coffee. That might put her mind at ease that you're not going out behind her back.

    One more thought: you never know what her husband has said about you, to her in an effort to cover his back.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you two meet only to talk about your child, which is something you should do. As long as you don not let him in your home or go into his home. Also you should meet there not ride together. This is his child to and he has the right to be told what is going on in the child's life.

    He should have been honest with her, I would say this is why she is angry. She is most likely giving him hell to. Perhaps the two of you should get together with the two of them and get thing out in the open.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Do some damage control, tell the Pastor of the Church maybe he can mediate something before it gets out of hand. The Pastor will be able to provide a safe environment where you two can talk.

    If it is public humiliation and constant harrassment that it is a criminal offence.

  • 1 decade ago

    Kindly and politely tell her she needs to back off... remind her that she should chill because it's something she cannot control (and she's trying to) But it was from when you were younger... mistakes were made, so on and so forth... but for the sake of yours and your ex's son... she should give it a rest. Not to mention that your ex never told her... she should be on him about this stuff... I mean, you are up front with your man... So, what's her problem?

  • 1 decade ago

    Your in a bind my dear .... I would stay away from him with regard to any "coffee dates" ... regardless of the feelings or lack there of ... think of the possible view of someone else, perhaps knowing your past, but not fully understanding ... thats how gossip starts ... the wife, Stay away from her husband and assure her in every way shape and form that you will not see him ever, outside of the four people that make up your couples...

  • 1 decade ago

    Like it or not. She had to deal with the fact that you and your neighbor are parents to your oldest child. This is HER problem not yours.

    You have the right to meet and talk about your child.

    However to make her more comfortable, I'd suggest inviting her to your talks... and I'd keep the topic to your son... until she mellows out.

    If she can't mellow out, then continue to meet and talk.. this is NOT your problem... its hers.

  • 1 decade ago

    If she can not understand that you and him are just friends and that you have kids together then you need to tell her to leave you the he** alone and talk to him of whats going on if he don't know. Ask him to tell her to STOP.

  • 1 decade ago

    She is raising hell on you? She needs to worry about her husband and leave you alone. She better hope you don't go postal on her!

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