noone
Lv 6
noone asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

How does a new family member ( one that has just married in to a family), recieve their title.. for example?

My mother recently married and now wants my children to call her new husband grandpa. Who should give him that title...

a. my mom

b. my kids

c. me

d. other

i don't feel comfortable with her using that title so freely. What do you think?

Update:

My kids are 5,3 and 3 months. So they are easily influenced and not really old enough to decide. MY mother was married to my father for 2 months when i was a baby and i have only met him once when i was 6 years old. She was married to my brothers father during most of my childhood and although i hated him i called him dad. The man they think of as their grandpa besides my husbands father is the man she was recently married to for 12 years, i do not call him dad but he did give me away at my wedding and they call him grandpa because we have known him for a long time and we trust him. They were married when my first two kids were born.

15 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It should definitely be up to your children, with some input from you. Grandpa is a term of trust and affection, just because your mother has found that in a new person doesn't mean you all have to share her feelings for the new addition.

    You should be happy for her and be polite and nice to her new husband, but as for title that shouldn't come until you or in this case your children are ready.

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  • 1 decade ago

    it depends on how old your kids are and whether or not they knew/know your dad. If they know/knew your father then calling someone new "grandpa" can be difficult to understand.

    If they are young then they will decide on their own time if and when they call him grandpa. If they are older teens maybe then sit and have a talk with them and see how they feel about it. For the most part it cannot be something forced, the relationship will not grow of it starts off bad.

    You should be sure to talk to your mum and tell her not to force the issue it will happen in time.

    You have to also ask yourself how you would feel if she were to ask you to call him dad, how would something like that make you feel?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think your kids should be the ones who choose what to call him. They should be respectful in whatever title, but I am with you... I absolutely would not be comfortable making my kids call someone "grandpa" or any other title of honor if they don't really know that person.

    Ask the kids what they want to call him, then sit down with your mom and explain that the kids need to be comfortable with what they call him. Let them choose.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Your kids. Not anyone else should have that decison. and if she cannot except that well then she needs to get over herself. That is not something that comes easily, but it will come. I am a step child. and when your kids like him they will call him grandpa, and if he is a loving person this will not take a long time. just let your kids know it is okay with you if they want to call him grandpa, or by his name. and fully support whatever they want to call him. good luck

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If your children are not comfortable with it, they should not call him grandpa. I have two step-nieces, who I adore, and I would love for them to call me aunt, but they don't because to them I am not their aunt. They have plenty of aunts on their mother's side of the family. So they just call me by my first name, and I respect their decision, as I would hope your mother and "grandpa" would come to respect your children's' decision. All the best.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you do not feel comfortable with using this title, but wish to grant her request then use a variation of the title. Consider using gramps, pawpaw, grandpapa, or one of the many others.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Depending on the age of your kids, ask them what they are comfortable with.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I think that its between you and your kids.If your kids feel comfortable enought to call him grandpa then you should let them.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well kids are smart they will make their own decision. people earn the title you don't just give it

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  • 1 decade ago

    i thinnk u should discuss this with ur mom and ur kids and see how they feel ! if they seem ok with it then gradually introduce it into ur family but deff dont force it upon them! hope this helps! good luck! =)

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