Has your preemie ever rejected ur touch??

When you have a preemie all you want to do is hold them.. When the nurses and doctors tell you its time for Kangaroo care, i dont know about you, i couldnt even sleep that night due to the excitement. 1st time i held her she would desat so i only got to hold her for like 20 minutes.. then when daddy held her he held her for 2 hrs and 30 minutes. 2nd time i held her only got 15 mins again.. and she brady'd. Is it me? Is it her? i change her diaper, feed her do all the things i can while she is in her isoletteand nothing ever happens.. is it me? Please offer your experience or advise.. i need somekind of comfort.. she was born a 23 weeks preemie and she is now 2 months old.

5 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    it's o.k. mom. you may just be catching her at a bad time.

    my neice was born a preemie, about the same age as your little one. she is a year old now, by birthdate, and she is doing great! my sister-in-law told me that when they are that little any touch seems to hurt them. they did kangaroo care, too, and sometimes they could do alot of kangaroo time and sometimes it was short. don't let it stress you out. just be there for her and love her b/c that's what she needs right now. i can't imagine having to go through all of that and people have told my brother and sister-in-law that the reason jordan was a preemie was b/c god knew that they could handle it and that he knew they would be the best parents for the job.

    if he thought they couldn't handle it, then they never would have had a preemie daughter.

    now, i'm not a big god person, but i thought that was really special and i'm telling you the same thing. your little sweet baby loves you so much and just b/c you only get to hold her a bit doesn't change any of that.

    maybe dad is warmer? maybe dad is fuzzier?? maybe dad has a flatter surface to lie on?? i know i can be a bit picky about the bed i sleep in and the pillows i use. :)

    just hang in there...she'll come around.

    also, a few things i learned from my brother and sister-in-law:

    -never guage her development with other kids b/c she just won't have the same milestones

    -find an awesome doctor that you feel good about

    -turn her head frequently (apparently preemies get odd shaped heads??)

    -look into programs like "help me grow" in your area. apply for any gov't assistance programs in case you need any extra help with nurses or in home care. my neice has people stop by once a week, i think, that help give tips on working with her developmentally and advice on toys, etc...

    -if you are feeling depressed or upset or anything wild please talk to your dr. my sister-in-law was sure that jordan was going to die the first month or 2 that they were home. sometimes, she said, she would just stare out the window. she got some zoloft from her dr and it helped. she is off them now, but it helped her get through the post traumatic stress and post partum depression.

    -check out www.carepages.com you can create a website for your little one. it helped us, b/c we lived so far away, we could all see pics of her and tammy would post little mesages about her progress. it was nice.

    so, take care mom, you are doing great and get excited about your 15 min of mommy time. celebrate the small moments instead of getting sad that they aren't bigger!!!

    happy holidays:)

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm guessing that you might have been giving off a little nervous tension which isn't uncommon with parents of preemies, but babies are super sensitive to the things. And the fact that you let the first time get you rattled and so on is building an invisible tension. Sometimes it takes people time to form a bond. Not all mums get it at square one. Try to relax and don't feel rejected. Spend time with her, read, sing and get comfortable. Don't let this get you down.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Oh so sorry to hear about that!! That had to have been really hard on you and baby!! That poor little thing!

    When they're born that super super early their skin is VERY delicate to the touch, and sometimes the lightest touches or certain fabrics, although soft to our skin, is hard, scratchy and very uncomfortable for these tiny babies.

    They mostly like the warmth, the smell, the sounds; all things that were familiar to them in the womb that they shared with their mother. Try holding her directly to your naked skin, preferrably right under your neck, over your chest, under your chin and have your lips on her head or somewhere near where she'll be able to smell your breath and your skin and just hold her. Don't rub her skin, don't scratch it, and don't talk unless it's in very soft tones or singing. Do this very often.

    Another thing that will help with such a preemie and newborn is to let them sleep with you without your shirt on. Breastfeed her. If you aren't breastfeeding her you can get yourself to still be able to do it, otherwise, feed her with the bottle like you would with the breast.

    I hope I've helped some!

    good luck!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago


    Oh yes, when my preemies (twins) were born, their skin was so delicate and I think this made it hard for them to want to be touched.

    For the first 2 months, it was hard to not want to touch them, but I knew touching them must have not felt good to their new baby skin. That is why they were always wrapped in swaddling blankets.

    My preemies were born at 32 weeks 3lbs 8oz and 3lbs 13oz. They were in the NICU for two weeks in seperate incubators to keep warm and grow.

    Today, my twins are 13 months old and loved to be touched and held and kissed and hugged. She will grow to love being touched.

    Hope this helps you................. : -O

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  • 4 years ago

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