properly, it hurts. it is going to harm for a jointly as and there is not any longer something i could recommend you do to attempt to numb your self. it particularly is a existence adventure, and a few existence reviews are painful. *shrug* As you mature, you will understand this (possibly you already do and purely did no longer exhibit it properly). You mentioned "i dont understand why". that means which you particularly opt to understand why. properly, i'm right here to assist you recognize which you will in no way understand why. And marvel! which would be a solid subject. The "reason" would be something asinine, plenty so as that it completely distorts your outlook. that is undesirable. there is not any stable "reason" in any respect. understanding that there substitute into no stable reason would be destructive to you, too. So. Take a deep breath (no longer too deep, i understand approximately your allergies). start up a self-communicate: often times undesirable or unsightly issues ensue to stable and harmless human beings. i can *choose for* to be fixated in this adventure, and wail in self-pity and self doubt. Or, i can choose for to renowned that it particularly is barely a painful existence adventure, that it will bypass (or possibly "has exceeded, and now i'm coping with the maintains to be"), and with time it is going to likely be much less painful. you're making the alternative between the two. The *maximum* influential guy or woman on your existence isn't your boyfriend, your superb pal, your instructor, your preacher, or perhaps your parent, it particularly is *your self*. and that i understand i ought to sound extraordinarily glib approximately this, yet lemme tell ya: BT,DT. the quicker you get your head wrapped around the thought that folk do no longer *make* you sense some way, yet particularly you *choose for* to sense some way, then the quicker you could take administration of your individual existence.