TELL ME THE MOST FUNNIEST JOKE ever!?

there are no limits and it can be grossest joke too...the best one wins 100%!

8 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    This guy owns a male parrot. Every time he brings a lady home, they walk by the parrots cage and it says "Somebody's gonna get srewed! Somebody's gonna get screwed!" After a while he decides to buy a female parrot. He goes to every pet shop in town and can't find a female parrot anywhere. Finally, at the last pet shop, the clerk says, "Well, we don't have any female parrots, but we have a female owl." The guy thinks "Sh*t, female's female, right? He takes the owl home and puts it in the cage with the parrot. That night he brings this sexy blonde home, walks by the parrots cage and the parrot says, "Somebody's gonna get screwed! Somebodly's gonna get screwed!" The owl says "Who? Who?" and the parrot says "NOT YOU YOU FLAT FACED SON OF A B*TCH!"

  • gombos
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    In an scan carried out in Britain, men and women all over the world have been invited to pass judgement on jokes on an Internet web site as good as give a contribution their possess. The LaughLab study, applied through psychologist Dr. Richard Wiseman, from the University of Hertfordshire, attracted greater than forty,000 jokes and nearly 2 million rankings. And right here it's... Two hunters are out within the woods while considered one of them collapses. He does not appear to be respiring and his eyes are glazed. The different man takes out his cellphone and calls the emergency offerings. He gasps: "My buddy is lifeless! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can support. First, permit's make certain he is lifeless." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back at the cellphone, the fellow says: "OK, now what?" Wiseman stated the shaggy dog story labored throughout many one-of-a-kind international locations and appealed to guys and females and younger and historic alike. "Many of the jokes submitted bought greater rankings from precise companies of men and women, however this one had truly common attraction," he stated.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes, you should have asked this question "not here"..This is polls and Surveys section.

    Any way, since you have asked, here's a joke for you.

    a it lengthy, but you will love it.

    A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.

    The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?"

    Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

    Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the Principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.

    The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.

    She agreed.

    Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

    Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

    Harry: "9".

    Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

    Harry: "36".

    And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.

    The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade."

    Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The Principal and Harry both agree.

    Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

    "Harry, after a moment "Legs."

    Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

    Harry: "Pockets."

    Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

    Harry: "Pants"

    Ms Brooks: What's a start with a C and ends with a T is hairy, oval, and delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

    Harry: Coconut

    Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

    The Principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,

    Harry was taking charge.

    Harry: Bubblegum

    Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?

    The Principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

    Harry: Shake hands

    Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

    Harry: Yep.

    Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

    Harry: Tent

    Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

    The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.

    Harry: Wedding Ring

    Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

    Harry: Nose

    Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

    Harry: Arrow

    Ms Brooks: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?

    Harry: Fire truck

    The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."

  • 1 decade ago

    Two blondes are walking in the forest when they come upon some tracks. They start arguing over what type of tracks they are. One says they are moose tracks the other says they are deer tracks. They were still arguing when the train hit them.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I can't tell you the funniest, but I can show you. Look at a picture of Jack Black.

  • 1 decade ago

    Your momma is so fat, dark, and old when God said let there be light he asked her to move over

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink?

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    Wa- Tah!!!! (water, get it?)

    Okay, this joke is stupid, but every time I hear it I laugh for some reason...

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    wrong catagory.go to jokes & riddles.

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