Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

I have a reputation for sort of being fierce, how can I make people think I am a bit nicer?

I was really sweet and innocent in my grade school years, but now in middle school, guys have been seriously angering me. Last year, the jerks on my bus made a game out of who could sit next to be the longest. Because the guys were either gay or perverts, and rumors spread like wildfire, I had to push them out of my seat. The bus driver didn't care that I was ramming guys into the isle every day. I was scratching them with my nails, but I just had to, you will not believe what jerks and supreme perverts they are!

Now this year, some of the guys still have their scars. One of the guys showed my secret crush these marks, and now he was making fun of me that I was pinching people because I was mean and cruel. The truth is, I am not! I am not the school bully or anything, I have loads of friends, I am part of the dance comitee and everyone knows me! (more info in details)

Update:

Now whenever I see my crush walking down the stairs or talking to me, he is like "My god, you just have to be so mean!" But I know it is in a joking manner, but still.

I don't look evil and cruel. It isn't like I wear dirty clothes and I beat up kids for lunch money. All the people from my old school *just a handful* know my reputation: Smart and weird red head with crazy friends.

Help?? I don't want to wear poofy dresses and look civilized, I want to be me, but I don't want to be pincher girl, or something like that!

Update 2:

To people that think I am pyscho:

I have straight A's.

Never gotten a B on a report card

Citizenship Award

Presidential Fitness award

Presidential academic excellence award.

It isn't like I am giving them black eyes or anything, nothing even close to that.

Me and my crush have the same art class, so when we are cleaning out our brushes and pallets (however you spell it) he acts like he is gonna pour paint on my head and spill the dirty water on me.

24 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I'm surprised. Not to stereotype, but you seem very intelligent for someone in middle school. There are no typos in your question, which is much more than I can say for most of us, including myself.

    Having said that, I have a simple answer for you: Smile more!

    It seems that you've been made sort of an icon in your school, and your behavior only reinforces people's views of you. If you kick guys out of the seat and into the aisle, I'd say that's fine, but it's obvious that you aren't happy with the result. Unless these guys are touching you, I'd say don't touch them. Let them sit next to you, grin at them, and if they gawk at you with a stupid gaze, ask them something like, "Can I help you?" Basically try toning it down a bit. If it doesn't help or if things get worse, you can always go back to doing things the way you were.

    But when all else fails, be yourself. It's better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.

  • 1 decade ago

    Wow. I completely sympathize. The trick... to get people to think that you're nice... involves getting people to think... AT ALL! And there's the real problem... people don't think an inch past themselves, and even when they think of themselves, they don't think an inch INTO themselves and so... like 5 year olds' they take their fun from making other people miserable.

    They do this because they are miserable inside. Misery loves company. They direct attention AWAY from themselves and their own misery by trying to create some off in some other direction ...for someone else.

    No cure for idiots -since the only thing we can cure is ourselves.

    So, best answer in the world for you: Strive personally to be secure, self-confident, and so aware of your own niceness that you really don't care if idiots can't tell how nice you are.

    And for the bus problem... smile sweetly when they sit down, and carry a nice thermos full of hot coffee. It's a shame those buses are so bumpy and steaming hot coffee is so easy to spill on people sitting next to you! Best of luck... Pastor Larry Lombardi

    Understanding helps

  • 1 decade ago

    You are who you are. People can sense the truth. If people are gossiping about you, they are just bored. Do your best to be a good person. You don't need to put on an act, it makes you look phoney. Maybe next time you are sexually harrassed you could talk to the principal or some other adult in the position to help you. In the mean time you gotta get over worrying what others think.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    all i have to say is to ignore people and all there harsh drama. if someone asks tell them the real story and show them the real true person that you are. if you're crush is acting like this than he is just another one of the dramatic people. he's not for you, if he's acting this way when you two are just friends and he's going with the drama, just imagine what he'll say when you two break up. find someone better that's worth you're time and effort. ignore the people and live your life. drama and rumors shouldn't get you down it should make you stronger and more mature. this just lets you know who the kids are and who the real mature teens are. dont let it get to ya.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I am completely against violence and have had violence used on me a few times. The best response though is not to copy them and sink down to their lower level of thinking. Stay friendly and the ones who are not friendly back its usually best just to keep away from them.

    If someone is really determined to attack or hurt you then I have found it is worth reporting this to the police, and after they get a hefty fine, they tend not to do it again.

    I have found it is possible (and probably best) to get through life without needing to resort to violence.

    So the best way to make people think you are nicer, is to be nicer. And in short don't resort to violence.

    Source(s): My life (up to now)
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It took awhile to earn your fierce reputation and it'll take awhile to unearn it.

    How can you make people think you're a bit nicer? Be a bit nicer for a long time.

  • 1 decade ago

    the guys got what was coming to them and now you are paying the price... just tell your crush what had happend MAYBE he'll understand MAYBE I don't know I have never tryed to be the "nice girl" I have always liked the "evil b*tch" rep.

  • 1 decade ago

    Just be yourself. If someone doesn't like it, who cares? I wish I had more aggressive friends. I like people who have a little spice. It just shows personality and that you are not boring.

  • 1 decade ago

    stop using violence!! Then maybe apologize to them. Realize they may be all immature about the apologies but at least you tried and if you keep up your nice behavior they'll realize eventually that you've grown out of your cRaZy stage......

  • 1 decade ago

    i have the exact same problem!

    i stood up for myself and all the guys took that as i was a *****

    all the advice i have is to keep being yourself, but if you want to say anything mean, just keep it to yourself

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