What is the funnest joke you ever heard?

This girl told me the funnest joke she's heard was the cat farted at nine oclock...it wasn't funny but i laughed because i thought it was really weird.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    ok look, so heres a funny, and slightly perverted joke

    An old lady has a cat. it dies, so she decides to go bury it in the local cemetery. She goes to the bus stop. when the bus gets there, she gets on it. Turning to the driver, she says " i have a dead pus*y.

    the driver looks at her, and says " sit with the woman behind me, shes my wife. You 2 hav a lot in common"

    When i heard thet joke I almost died!!!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    From an episode of "The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy", Fred Flintstone came into the present and stayed with Billy and Mandy. And I guessed because baths didn't exist in Prehistoric times Fred was stinky. And Billy told Fred he'd smelled like HabbaDabbaDooDoo. Get it? Get it?

    The connection comes from the "Flintstones", when Fred (the main character) would always yell, "HabbaDabbaDoo"!

    Its not really a joke, but still funny

    Source(s): The tv show
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    a man and wife went to the carnival and they were giving plane rides for 10 dollars the wife said lets wait next time it will be cheaper she said 10 dollars is 10 dollars this happened for 40 years they came back and said how much for plane rides the pilot said you have been coming here for 40 years asking me the same thing.the pilot said and every time you say 10 dollars is 10 dollars and walk away.the pilot said to the lady i am going to do loop to loops and crazy eights and if you don't say anything i will let you ride for free she agreed.they went up in the air and the pilot tried to scare them to death. the pilot was in the front of this open air plane the husband sat in the center and the wife in the back the pilot said you win i tried everything but could not scare you to say a word the husband said i was going to say something when Martha fell out of the plane after that last loop to loop but ya know 10 dollars is 10 dollars

  • 1 decade ago

    When I heard them, I cried laughing. But really, it's two different jokes that I find so funny:

    I had a wet dream about you last night.....I pissed myself laughing when you fell off a cliff!

    A teacher asks, "What part of the body goes to heaven first?" A child replies, "Feet, because every night I see my mom with her feet in the air screamin, 'God I'm comin!'"

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  • 1 decade ago

    A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart ....Nice children you've got there, are they twins?" The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's seven. Why the hell would you think they're twins? ..........Do you really think they look alike?" "No", replied the greeter, " I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    the funniest joke ever is :there were three guys ones name was crap ones name was shutup and ones name was manors. crap fell down the hill and broke his leg and manors went to go pick him up. a guy came up to shutup and asked him his name shutup said shut up. the guy asked again again shutup said shut up. the guy like no really whats your whats your name. shutup sid shut up. the guy asked where are your manors. shut up said down the hill pickin up crap (get it)

  • 1 decade ago

    I have heard many funny jokes.

    but if you want to hear really good ones go to this website

    www.funny.com

  • 1 decade ago

    How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Hey wanna go ride bikes.

  • 1 decade ago

    First drunk says "My wife is an angel". Hick, burbb

    Second drunk replies "You're lucky....My Burbb, Wife is still alive.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    how are a penguin and orange related?

    Tuesday

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