can you tellif your son will be gay at such young age?

i have a young boy who is growing up with my niece.. they play togethter a lot.. he loves dressing up like her.. but he also very boyish.... he used to tell me he wanted to be a girl.. plays with my nieces toys at times... he loves boy toys too.. he loves all tht boys his age love but he also likes my nieces barbies.. is there any one there who had the same situation with your now older sons?..............please only serious answers... not insulting ones.

28 Answers

  • Deb
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Not sure why you would want an answer to this..would it really make any difference at this age. They sometimes don't know that they are supposed to fit a stereotype. Girls play with boys things, dress in jeans and are called tomboys. I am sure you love him just as he is so stop worrying about it and enjoy him. They grow up too fast and other things more important come up. School, cars, curfews and the such. They are so innocent when they are young....if he grows up in another life style would you love him less? Probally not so enjoy him and stop worryng..

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't think you can know until he tells you. That is if he is. A lot of people say that it's a learned preference but it's not. I think that way about my son who is 8. He had a barbie because he wanted one sooooo bad and his God Mother bought him one. I was a little worried there. Then he says things and I ask my husband if he thinks he may be. My husband works with homeless men who have HIV so he knows a lot about the gay community. I would just say, love your son for who he is no matter what. I can't offer advice because mine is still young too. My eldest son experimented once and figured it wasn't for him. That was an interesting talk! LOL He told me everything. If your son is gay just accept him. But to be honest, if his play friend is a girl he'll be interested in girl things too. My son [the 8 yr old] used to love high heels. Doesn't make him gay, just silly. Try not to worry now [I know that's hard] deal with it if it ever comes an issue.

  • 1 decade ago

    I do believe that you can have a good idea about a child at a young age. However, what you're describing sounds alot like a kid who just likes to play. With anyone! In my opinion, kids at such a young age just want someone to play with and it doesn't really matter who. As long as the child is somewhat close in age. If we teach our children to have an imagination, we can't limit that imagination to be directed gender specific. If he's 16 years old and still playing with Barbies and playing in womans dresses he might be a cross dresser, but that still doesn't make him gay. As parents, we worry too much and in return, we isolate our kids without even realizing it. And truthfully.....does it really matter? They're our kids!

  • 1 decade ago

    ~~~~it's hard to tell at a really young age. i had a gay friend and he said he knew when he was around 8 yrs. old or so. he felt he had this attraction to boys. he still played with "boy" toys so you cant tell just by looking at what he plays with. someone above said its a choice he would make when hes 18 or 19 what an idiot. you are born like this and you dont wake up and decide, hey im going to be gay from now on. who would want to with all the crap they have to go through. if your kid wants to play with "girl" toys then let him. don't u want him to be happy. thats all that really counts.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You have not indicated how old he is. My son, now 13, used to be a lot like your son.

    These things you describe are not unusual and you should not treat them as such. They are just part of growing up.

    And, once your son is older, if he does happen to be gay, you will love him anyway. He is your son. His sexuality should not change the way you feel about him.

  • 1 decade ago

    Ok one more time people being gay is not a *decision*.

    Now on with this. My roommate's son is gay and Rommie suspected since Kid was little. I've also suspected about one of my own boys since he was 2. He's only 8 now, so it'll be awhile before we know for sure, but I think signs can be seen early if parents care to look.

  • 1 decade ago

    Children will identify with whoever they are playing with. I dont think it has anything to do with sexual preference. If he has indicated to you that he wanted to be a girl, it is because he thinks their toys are so cool and is jealous that those toys are for girls only.

    It will be good to have him play with other boys so he gets the other side of the picture. And what s more, he will grow up not having only one side of the picture.

    I grew up with only another girl and more than a dozen boys in an extended family. The boys played with dolls, play cooking, play stores, and play house. We learned slingshots,war games, ball games, etc.

    Not one turned out gay. If they wanted to, it would have nothing to do with childhood games.

  • 1 decade ago

    I dont think you can tell...I dont know how young your son is, but it looks like the age it might come clear is when they are a adolescent/ teen.

    What you say he is doing to make you question could be just something enjoys doing, not cause he is gay, but because that is him.

    My son is two and loves try and wear my cloths, dance on his toes, play with dolls, but there is a good chance he aint going to be gay, but if he does because, wont love him less.

  • 1 decade ago

    I would say at this age don't worry too much. My nephew plays with girl's toys when he's around girls and boy's toys when he's around boys. If there is a chance he's gay - then he'll be gay and nothing that happens right now is going to change it - he either is or isn't. Just be supportive and let him be a kid and use his imagination. Don't worry so much about it and definitely don't try and "talk" to him about it. He's just a kid!

  • 1 decade ago

    He's a little boy, if he wants to play with Barbies let him. People don't accuse little tomboy girls of being lesbians. There is such a double standard out there...just give your son a break and let him explore his creativity

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.