Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

Life Is a Mess!?

Right now it seems everything is wrong. I am having relationship problems...we're constantly arguing, AND family problems...I just suffered a loss of someone very close to me.. I'm school has just been so stressful. I am working twords a certificate of a very competitave program...I doubt I will even get in, after all my hard work. I'm just so stressed...I just want to cry. How come when it rains, IT POURS??? Any advice. Thanks in advance.

23 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    If you woke up this morning

    with more health than illness,

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    million who won't survive the week.

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    or even touch them on the shoulder,

    you are blessed because you can

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  • 1 decade ago

    From personal experience, I have to say, if you start feeling too overwhelmed, DON'T hesitate to talk to someone about what's wrong. Bottling up your emotions will only make it worse. It sounds to me like everything is stemming from the stress of your schoolwork and family problems. Maybe you could try sitting down with your significant other and calmly talking about how you feel. He/she should be able to at least understand what you're going through. Try this: The next time you start fighting, ask yourself if your S.O. has truly done anything wrong. If they haven't, stop fighting.

    As for school. I understand how stressful it can be (I'm in the last week of finals at my university). My only advice is to be dedicated to what you're doing, and try very hard not to doubt yourself. Sometimes dedication to your work reflects better on you than straight A's.

    There's my little two cents, I hope everything gets straightened out soon. Good luck, and just remember to take a deep breath every now and then.

  • helly
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    The only way to tackle these things is to deal with one at a time. When you are trying to face all of it at once, it can seem like the whole world is crashing down around you, and you wont be able to deal with any of it. I do sympathise, because sometimes life does have a way of clumping bad stuff together and throwing it at you to see how you handle it.

    You need to deal with your grief first, I would say, as that is probably the most striking thing you are dealing with. Get some grief counselling if it helps, talk it out with friends, perhaps. The other problems, (family and relationship) could well be a result of your grief, or at least be exacerbated by it. Tell the people you are fighting with that you are grieving, and ask for a bit of space.

    The school part is going to depend on you having confidence in yourself. You say you doubt you will get in - that sort of defeatist attitude will guarantee it. Believe in your own ability and continue to work your very hardest to get what you want, and deserve. Sometimes throwing yourself into work when you have problems outside of it is very therapeutic.

    Other than that, take time to relax, maybe meditation or Reiki, take up Tai Chi, or Yoga. A bit of vigorous exercise can also be good for working off stress.

    Things will get better. It is hard to see it now, but they will. Just take one thing at a time, and don't try to solve it all at once.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Life is not easy and you are going through a challenging time, just try to take a few minutes every day for time to yourself.

    Pamper yourself in small ways:

    Run a hot bubble bath and just soak in it

    Listen to soothing music

    Go for a walk

    In the long run reevaluate some of your priorities and reflect on where you really want to be in 5 years.

    Have a chat with your significant other and try to resolve any issues or if it is truly too much perhaps you need to step away for a little and reflect on that too.

    Whatever you do never let it drag you down, remember this "Once you get up in the morning, the rest is gravy".

    Nothing can really hurt you if you don't let it, so keep your chin up and move forward.

    Hope that helped a little and well if it didn't you can resort to a Nice Big Giant Strawberry Sundae.

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  • Zebra4
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Yes, I have some great advice (been there myself):

    1) Drink water, lots of water, add some lemon, stay refreshed.

    2) Make sleep a big priority. Even a 20-minute nap can be a huge advantage to your day.

    3) Eat healthy - the best diet for me is organic vegan raw. It gives me all the energy and nutrition I need without any side effects from food chemicals or animal hormones. Keeps the brain sharp.

    4) Mix in a little exercise (even a little 15-minute walk) and a little social support (even a little 10-minute phone call with a buddy can be very rejuvinating!

    5) Pace yourself! Set your priorities and keep them straight. You can't do everything, right? But, you can fit in the most important things if you put them first.

    Hope that helps!

  • 1 decade ago

    Once you reach your lowest point, you can only go up from there on. And everything is put into perspective when you consider the grief that others are experiencing as well. "Woe is me" is a typical way of dealing with the cards you've been dealt. Try looking at your life, and seeing all you have accomplished, and be grateful that it's not nearly as bad as some other people might have it.

    Dysfunction is a function. That statement is so sadly true. Always has been. It's just learning to cope with the stress, and getting through the day with your pride intact that will keep you moving on up.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hey babe... No, you're not imagining it. Sometimes life sucks to a ridiculous degree. So try what I am trying a bit of: see your life as a very bad soap opera or sitcom and visualize the soundtrack. Then indulge in an occasional crying storm.

    My sob story (just so you know I'm really not making this up): just like you, waiting on a competitive program to maybe let me in, though dubious; having serious health issues; guy I'm in love with, who loves me, needs to get into a green card marriage in order to be allowed to finish med school (I'm Canadian). No doubt our relationship problems are just beginning.

    So: haven't you always wanted to live in a movie? Don't you think only Hollywood could come up with all that crap, all at once?

  • 1 decade ago

    Problems always seem to run that way. Prioritize. What can you take of for you, first. It sounds like you need to focus on your program. You will honor the family member you lost by doing that. If your significant other is not being supportive, you need to stay away right now. Find someone you can vent, talk to- a friend, a counselor, an advisor. Take care of yourself-eat well, sleep, walk, and breathe. One day at a time. things will get on an even keel again but you can only take care of yourself and one thing at a time.

    Good luck! Been there....

  • mJc
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I'm sorry for all the stress you're currently under; especially with the loss of a close friend. Life can get very messy at times, that's for sure. My advice (but take it as if I'm just the local bartender just serving you up a drink)... break-up with the boyfriend and put all your energy into your education. Once you get that certificate and set-up your career path you'll be free and clear to get back with him... or you can toss up your heart and see where it lands.

    Source(s): No tip expected...
  • 1 decade ago

    In to everyone's life a little rain must fall..............

    Life throws curve balls to test our endurance and to prepare us for bigger issues to come. You will never appreciate the good things life has to offer without having experienced the bad. Take a moment and reflect on what lessons or experiences you can draw from this time.

    Take a breath. Relax. Give yourself permission to. If you have to freak out...give it a timeframe. Time yourself. If you want to freak out, have a 5 minute session and let it go. But that's all you give it. Then get ready to carpe diem!!! (Seize the Day).

    There are people experiencing a much worse existence than you (i.e Darfur, Iraq War, etc.). You can so get in to that program. See yourself getting that certificate....actually feel it in your hands.

    You may want to look up some meditation techniques. Just find a quiet room and try to focus on your breathing. See your issues in your mind's eye as if you are observing a movie. Don't picture yourself doing things in your mind, just observe and let them pass. If you get distracted, do not beat yourself up, just re-focus and keep listening to the cadence of your own breathing.

    Things will work out. They almost certainly do. Good Luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    Girl, do I ever hear ya!!!! I'm in serious financial trouble. Well, not me, but my husband, which extends to me. We fight non-stop, are in the hole 2 mil, we are going to lose our house, and the list goes on and on and on. To put icing on the "cake," his ex-wife will not leave us alone and wants him back, comes to his work extremely early, when I am not around and is always asking for money. Why the he.ll she does not understand -$2,000,000 is beyond me. I finally said, we are outta here. I am applying to several law schools and the first one that says "yes," I'm going to.

    Good will come out of it. I would never have went to law school if this had not have happened. But, you are right, when it rains it pours and sometimes only crying helps for a minute. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. In my case it has usually been a train, but cross your fingers.

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