How long should i wait for him to ask me to marry him?

Ii have just reconsiled with my significant other within the last couple months and we now are living together. We never married because..to him it was "just a piece of paper". To me it was much more (but that a long story). Before he moved in, we talked about this issue and agreed that we would move towards marriage and gave a time limit of 2-3 months. For the first time in 15 years, he was willing to discuss and accept the marriage issue. Well, that time is near and no discussions. I know how he feels about marriage, but we have kids together I know i love him and he loves me. "What's the deal with that?" I'm not quite sure HOW of IF i shoudl approach him. I am totally open for your ideas and thoughts to help me decide how i shoudl see and approach this whole issue.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Pont blank tell him......"Its been several months, what do you think of the idea of us getting married for New Years (or Valentines)". See what reply you get. If he is putting you off......I would tend to think he ain't never going to marry ya. But, fish around with a question like I have above.....

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Normally, I can see waiting 3 years for proposal, and up to 2 more years planning for marriage and the wedding= total of 5 years.....15 years and you had kids with him? Forget it. Frankly he sounds like a selfish a$$.....he should of married you 10 years ago and yes, it is more than just a piece of paper.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You guys set a time period, so I don't think it would be that wrong of you to bring up the matter. Just say something like, "So, we've been back together now for X months. Isn't it time we started planning that wedding?" or "All the jewelry stores are having sales right now. We should go pick out our wedding rings now."

    The thing is, he put it off for 15 years. Don't let him put it off for longer. If you wait on him to make the move, you're going to be waiting another 15 years.

    If it's "just a piece of paper" to him, he should be willing to give you that piece of paper, especially if it means a lot to you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You've already waited at least 15 years and he still isn't talking about getting married. He just bought time saying just enough to make you think he was open to the idea. If he truly were, y'all would have been talking about this and getting excited about it more everyday. If actually getting married is important to you, don't compromise your beliefs and your heart's desires. Never works. Good luck but sounds like you have to decide whether you are willing to go on without getting married--the problem isn't trying to figure out how to approach him or win him over. He's made his views clear on that--look at his actions, what he is NOT doing.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I agree with you. Marriage is about a lot more than just a name change and signatures on paper.

    You could always propose to him. It is a trend that is slowly becoming more popular.

    Personally, I think that if he is not willing to take that step towards a legally binding commitment to you, then he doesn't deserve you. Especially after so many years.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You missed the boat on this one 13 years ago. Just be happy that you have an intact family . If you know that he loves you, live in that.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I believe that the saying is if he doesn't marry you in 5 years then he NEVER will.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I would talk to him and communicate your feelings.Especially with children It is very important that people communicate their feelings together.It makes it difficult I know because of the children but you won't get anywhere if you don't communicate

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You should have left him 13 yrs ago..

    Don't waste more than 2 yrs. waiting for a proposal from any man.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You should not have moved in with this man if he didn't propose to you. You are setting yourself up... again. That's too damn long... 15 years? psssshh.

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