Why do people say it's not cheating if you're not married!!!!????

My boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me, and someone answered with "It's only a boyfriend...you're not married to him...it's not cheating..." How the hell can you think that!!!??? If you are in a commited relationship with someone IT'S STILL CHEATING!!!! You're with that person because you're trying to find someone to marry and be happy with!! Why would it be OK??? It's not! If you are not ready to be with one person......DON'T!!!! If you're with someone that you don't want to be with anymore, why not just dump them instead of cheating? It hurts a hell of a lot more to have been betrayed, and lied to!!!! It kills apart of you and you aren't yourself for a LLLOOOONNNGGG time!!!


My boyfriend didn't say this. We are still together, trying to work this out. It was a few people on yahoo that said it. I asked a question about cheating and a couple of them wrote that it wasn't because we aren't married. We were talking about getting married! And actually, when I found out in Sept. about all of this, we were talking about having a baby!!! It just pisses me off that some people can be such douchebags to people that love them!! I just never thought this would happen to me! I guess ya never do! My friend told me that since this has happend to me, she's sucpicious of her husband, because she NEVER thought MY boyfriend could do a thing like this to me. (because everybody is always saying how good a boyfriend he is) He was...until he did this!!! He was perfect! He always worked, he helps take care of my son, and he always tries to do what ever he can to make me smile. That's why it came as a surprise. I never thought........

Update 2:

I have a 9 year old son with cerebral palsy. In jan. he had a long siezure and was in the hospital for 3 months. All I do is take care of him (my son). I haven't worked since he was about 2. So, he has need a lot more attention and care from me. He was home all day through July and August since school was out and I had NO TIME for myself. He actually slept with the skank LAST year, and started talking to her again in August. I found out in Sept. He said he only slept with her 1 time last year. He said he wasn't thinking about me and "us", and that he needed attention because he wasn't getting it from me. Which was true... but, it doesnt mean that he could do this. He was the best b/f in the world!! All of my friends and family love him. And I didn't think that he had it in him!

19 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    The fact that you are dating means that you are in a commited relationship. The key word there is "COMMITED".

    Anyone who cheats is scum. There is absolutely "NO" excuse for betrayal of this type. If you love someone, then you would not destroy their trust and respect for you by cheating on them. Do so shows a lack of maturity, self-discipline, morality, and respect for those you care about.

    If you cheat on the person you claim to love, then you are less than scum. You have no honor, and dishonor both your name and your family.

  • 1 decade ago

    It doesn't matter if you have exchanged vows or not, if you are in some sort of committed relationship where both parties have agreed to only date each other, any sexual (or emotional) exchange is cheating. Whoever said that it wasn't is probably just another scumbag who cheats and then uses that weak and lame excuse to justify his selfish and shady actions. I was married to someone who cheated on my several times and finally last March, I got the nerve to leave after finding out about an affair he was having with some really skanky girl at his job. I think that most people cheat because they are looking for some sort of instant gratification to meet their very selfish needs. They put themselves first and do not take any consideration to what the consequences will bring whether it is the end of the relationship and/or severely hurting someone who cared about them as well as causing their bf/gf to have severe trust issues afterward. It would be a great world if most people did use their ability to reason and make better choices like leave if they are not satisfied, however most people who do cheat once again are solely thinking of themselves and unfortunately did not care about the other person or the relationship as much as they should have. I always wondered why my ex wouldn't just leave instead of continuously hurting me but I found out with him, that he is just a cheater and scumbag when comes to relationships because he has tried to cheat on his new gf with me. Just be glad that you are free of this douche bag because it would've been considerably harder to escape the relationship had you actually been married. I still have some trust issues because of that relationship but at least now I am happy again on my own and am able to maintain some sort of hope and faith that there are guys out there that aren't too self-absorbed to the point where they think solely of themselves at the cost of hurting the ones who loved them most. It's their loss not ours and I wish you nothing but the best of luck in whatever endeavors you face in the future and as for that part of you that you think is killed off because of this ordeal, is really not...its just a wound and with time it will heal too. Take Care:)

  • 1 decade ago

    Even though your not married if he has sex with someone else he cheated on you, because had been commited to you, in your heart. Even though not legally through marriage. I believe that it's still cheating and it's not right. And it's boys like that who give real men who treat their wives/gf's with love and respect a bad image. Sorry that this happened to you. And I totally agree with you about it tearing you appart, and it also causes major trust issues even when you meet someone else who is very loving and respectful of you and your feelings. I hope that things work out for you.

    Take care and God Bless

    Merry Christmas.

  • Cheating is cheating...no matter how you look at it and what your relationship is (b/f & g/f or married). When you are in a relationship you have that thing called committment...to each other. b/f & g/f is a relationship and you are committed to each other...not a 3rd party....

    those ppl are lying if they say it wouldn't hurt to find your other half cheating...and they only have that attitude b/c its never been done to them...so maybe someone should so they can see what we see....

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  • 1 decade ago

    I so agree with you . Yes it is cheating regardless if you are married or not . You are in a commited relationship and therefore you are off limits to someone ,anyone else . I so totally agree with you . I am so glad that there is someone else that thinks like me in this world . good luck and god bless and happy holidays.

  • JohnS
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I agree it is cheating at any point in the relationship.... Even if you are not married.... Since you have been with him for 5 years, I am sorry he did this on you since it's going to really hurt....

    I hope things work out for you..... Take care...

  • 1 decade ago

    GIRL YOU SO RIGHT.that cheating stuff hurts far longer than being dumped.its definetly cheating married or not.what they mean to say is while it still hurts(cause you are human) at least you can dump the mother'f'er and move on without the legal hassle.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I agree with you....using the logic of "its only a boyfriend, its not cheating" is ridiculous....because by that logic, its completely OK to have sex with anyone, at any time, up until the moment you say "I Do"...now how stupid is that?

    Committed relationship= no intruders allowed, married or not!

  • 1 decade ago

    Its Cheating

  • 1 decade ago

    I disagree. It's not "cheating" if you are not married. It is a betrayal and dishonest and overall a crappy thing to do if the other doesn't know about it. But, "cheating" implies that one person isn't following the agreement, contract, or commitment that comes with a marriage. To commit to someone means you will be with them forever and in all conditions. If you haven't done that, then you aren't "committed."

    By the way, at least he did it before you got married or have kids. Good luck.

    Source(s): 15 years dating and 3 years of marriage.
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