Moving in with BF, how to handle finances? How do you handle?

Background info...I am 31, he's 34, and I have a 9 year old daughter. We will be moving in to his place. I'd like to hear from others out there who have a good plan on how to handle the finances/bills. I make more money than he does. Not a whole lot, but more.

Splitting everything straight 50/50 seems odd but if it works for you, please share.

Which one of you keeps track of the bills and makes sure they are paid? Do you have a joint bank account for this, or separate? How do you handle buying groceries and household items, and the rent or mortgage payment?

I've been a single parent, and I have not lived with another adult in years. This will be a big adjustment as it is, so the last thing I want to do is end up arguing about money and how to handle it. I want to have a good plan in place and discuss my ideas with him prior to moving in so there is no question later how things are to be handled.

Any tips or success stories you could share would be much appreciated!

Update:

Yes, I do trust him. This has not been a fly-by-night decision by any means. I've considered a lot of things before seriously considering moving myself and my daughter in with someone. He's probably more disciplined with finances than I am. I am going through a Chapter 7 right now and learning to make better financial decisions. But, I would like to be a large part of the decision-making when it comes to money...I am a very independent person and I won't let anyone "tell" me what I can and cannot do with the money I make as long as our direct needs are met and the most important bills are paid.

We are not engaged or married yet but there has been serious talk of both. We've both discussed our ultimate goals and what we need to do to achieve it. Right now we're both trying to get back on our feet financially, together, and then take it from there.

Thanks everyone for some good suggestions and sharing your experiences so far!

8 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I recommend that you establish a "living expenses" account that you both deposit a pre-determined about of money into. This would be the account you pay the bills from. This would be an "and" account (a joint account that requires only one signature.) Who pays the bills would be determined on who has the time, the skills, etc.

    Divide up your contributions based on a percentage. Since you make slightly more than he, you would be contributing slightly more than he. Let's say you make 20% more than he does -- then for every dollar you contribute, he would only contribute eighty cents.

    Sit down together and calculate all of your joint living expenses -- rent, utlitilies, insurance, tv, phone, internet, garbage, upkeep of home if you own, laundry, dry cleaning, a budgeted amount for food/groceries, gas if you share a vehicle, credit debt IF it is a joint debt.

    You didn't mention if you are receiving child support, or if you are responsible for all your child's expenses. You will want to establish a clear understanding about whether or not his money will be used for your child. If he is going to help support your child, then the split would be 50/50 based on the wage ratio. If not, then the split could be 1/3 for him and 2/3 for you. In some states there is a tax deduction for helping with support of another's child, so if you are going to split the expenses just between the two you this set up can help when taking this deduction.

    Sometimes your employer will let you auto deposit to more than one account and if so, you can have a pre-determined about deposited to the joint account each payday. If not, then each of you will be responsible for depositing your share each payday.

    This is all similar to a pre-nuptial agreement and it is a great idea to work it out in advance. There's no need to complicate things in a new relationship by starting out without a plan.

    I was budget counselor in a past life and this is a great way to keep track of things and eliminate arguments. Good luck!

  • Josi
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I think you should talk to him and see what he feels comfortable with. When my now husband and I moved in together, we had only been together 6 months. I was 20 and he was 21. Very young. You're quite a bit older and so is he. You have a child that is your #1 priority. I think it depends a lot on how you've addressed things up to this point.

    But, you asked how we do things, so I'll tell you.

    My husband has always made quite a bit more money than me. When we moved in together, we opened a joint checking account and I handled the finances. I'm not sure if it was b/c he trusted me sooo much or b/c he was kinda lazy!! But he still isn't very involved in the finances and I know it's b/c of trust. He makes the money, I spend it! Not literally, I pay the bills every two weeks ( he gets paid bi-weekly), I send extra to c.cards and our morgage payment. I will send extra until there's X amount left for the rest of the 2 weeks. I will factor in groceries (about $200), gas about ($125) and if there is anything coming up soon (birthday presents to buy, a trip, etc). He knows that he has enough in the account to buy gas, beer, snacks, small things like that if he wants it. We discuss large purchases. This has worked for us for about 6 years. I hope all goes well for you and your family.

    Happy Holidays!

  • 1 decade ago

    How much do you trust him? Not to be mean, but he has no legal responsibility to you or your daughter and he can ask you to leave at any moment. Also, are you planning on getting married, which will have an influence on how you deal with the money.

    Who's better, more disciplined at doing the finances?

    We do ours together. We see what's due when and send out the bills. We have joint checking, savings and credit cards. I'm more penny conscious than he is and tell him exactly how much extra we have each month after bills are paid and we decide together what we're going to do with it. If either is thinking of making a bigger purchase ($75+) we discuss it with the other first. It's not "his money" and "her money" but our money. He makes more than I do but if I put in a lot of overtime I can almost catch up to him.

    Good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    We do joint checking for paying bills, rent, insurance, etc. and joint savings. We take our two paychecks, combine them, and then pay off everything. With the left overs, we put half into savings and then take the second half and split it between the two of our credit cards. I also have a separate savings account so that if I have leftover money from paying off my credit card I can put it away.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    My partner makes more then i but mortage is higher then normal right now for him... so he cares for the mortage I help out with food and our time out and if he needs extra money!

    One thing that was stressed for me is not to make it a business deal your relationship will suffer!

    I personally would take all the moneys you both make and put it into a pile!

    There is your household income! mix it up so you don't know who's money is who's! and then pay bills! what ever is left split between the house hold! even the kid but don't give the kid the money SAVE it!

    just an idea!

    good luck!

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    i think of that what ever he makes use of he could pay 50% alongside with you paying the different 0.5. yet in case you have not have been given his call on the abode then i don't think of he could could pay 50% of the own loan. i've got faith like couples could have a mutual information of the thank you to handle their funds. no matter what how plenty income you get

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    first of all you should probably write up a budget or at least list all your expenses-

    things you share you pay 50/50 on- rent, utilities, groceries

    things that are yours you pay for- you each pay your own car payment, car insurance, gas, personal debts(credit cards, student loans), you buy and pay for your own personal things- clothes, makeup, daughters expense etc.) he pays for his own things like clothes, beer, etc.

    things like dates and entertainment you handle how you are now- probably he pays or you split most of it or take turns

  • 1 decade ago

    Keep your checking separate, you just might wake up one day with him and your money gone.

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