How many mates/companions can you really love in a life time?

We all have had failed relationships unless you married your high school sweetheart and still going strong...

Some people have had more than 4-5 marriages...or they go from one failed one to another....

What do you believe out of the following:

1. Do you believe that you can only give so much of yourself out that after too many relationships...there is nothing left?

2. Do you believe that your heart has love to infinity ...and when you are with someone you give your all?

3. Or if you have another thought....

6 Answers

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  • .
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think both are true...some people put too much of themselves into relationships (not just love) and lose themselves...they have nothing when that relationship ends or have a hard time loving again becaue they gave their heart away and didn't get it back...

    Others, have an infinite capacity for love (actually I think we all do, some just mismanage it)...there is no limit of how many (romantic) people one can love in a lifetime...that's the beauty of it...if a relationship fails, we don't have to worry that there isn't enough love left for someone else (unless we've made the above paragraph mistake).

  • 1 decade ago

    Interesting question... I am currently having bad faith in relationships and true love's existence so my answers may be a bit compromised!

    1. I believe that that might happen unless if the person you meet after that many relationships is just so special and intriguing to you that you can't but help falling again.

    2. I personally do, most people don't. But I think when you're hurt you end up protecting yourself and give less and less with every next relationship.

    I hope this whole real love that actually lasts for a long while does exist or it would be a pretty depressing world we live in wouldn't it!

  • 1 decade ago

    INTERESTING QUESTION!!!

    I think that what happens is that people change in their goals and values as they grow older. The person one was at 25 is considerably different from the one they are at 50.

    I think that a KEY component to a successful relationship is MUTUAL GOALS and mutual support. If that goes away the relationship fades.

    1. There is always more to give because each relationship is different, hopefully in a positive way. The only way that there is "nothing left" is if one has been consistantantly hurt in past relationships. Then the expectation becomes learned behaviour.

    I have been in a "relationship" with a woman for 4 years. She had two UGLY marriages and some BAD times. She is just incapable of affection.

    2. I think that love is a narural desire like hunger and it never goes away; maybe different, but always there.

    3. As people mature the "selection process" changes. In hs it it is looks or position in "society". Then it turns to having a family and all the responsibilities that go along with that.

    I believe that the key is finding a partner that YOU LIKE, share common interests and goals, laugh with and will support each other unconditionally. ALL of that changes as you mature.

    Here is an example. I was married to a woman that was a financial wizard and I was in the process of starting two new businesses at the same time. She needed help growing her company and I needed strong financial advise. Her company grew 3 times when we were together and mine did well too. When the common goal went away our relationship followed the same path. We still go to each other for advise, but just aren't in a "relationship any longer"

    Here is another. My business partner died SUDDENLY and I held the business together and helped his widow deal with all of the crap. I had know her for 15 years and she always thought that I was a JERK, the term she actually used was a body part below your waist, HAH!

    The next thing that I knew we were in a LDR (7 hour drive for me plane ride for her). For three years we spent a long weekend together every month.

    We shared EVERYTHING and had a TON in common to the point that when we went to the store people just assumed that we were married.

    We never went to parties because she said, "I don't want to share you".

    She called what we had "mini-honeymoons" and they were GREAT!

    Then REALITY reared it's UGLY head. She realized that she wanted more than I could give and openly admitted to being a "materialist *****". She wanted someone to come home to every night and I actually considered relocating, but the REAL PROBLEM was that she KNEW that I either would NOT or could not support her financial habits.

    We both filled a need in a difficult time and then realized that it wasn't going to work.

    She sent me mail and she is in a new relationship and I am happy for her. I honestly expect to be invited to her wedding.

    So my whole point is that when the common goal goes away, the relationship goes with it.

    Here is another example.

    I have know a woman that is 25 years my junior and I am 60 so you can do the math. She works where I eat lunch everyday and we have become friends to the point that she said that she would go out with me, "You act more you are like 40" was her reasoning.

    She is here legally, a single mom and wants CITIZENSHIP. Before you judge she said, "I would never become involved for that simple reason".

    I had a bout with cancer that lasted a year and she always showed concern and demanded that I call her at work after all of my surguries. She actually worried about me and I do NOT believe that it was because her citizenship ticket might croak on her.

    We have NEVER been out, but we share.

    So a LONG answer to your COMPLEX question.

    The best,

    Jacques

  • 1 decade ago

    My belief is that we are created to love. Love God love our neighbor love ourselves. There will be various people we will meet on our journey through life that we will come to love. There are varying degrees of love and there will always be that special someone that will change your life and whole perspective of love ie your childhood sweetheart etc,

    For me the love I have for my child is by far a love that is unconditional, but in terms of relationships, I believe there are people you will meet that you will have such a profound connection with that you will never really stop loving them. Indeed you give your all, regretably without caution and sometimes you give too much of your heart and soul and it is tied to that person for a length of time...sometimes forever!

    There is a saying... It's better to have loved and lost; than to have never loved at all?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I believe that once you have given yourself to someone that you where so much in love with and they break your heart, it is very hard to allow yourself to love again. it is up to you as to whether or not you will allow yourself to love again or if you are to afraid of getting hurt again. you can never no what you will do until the time comes and you happen to meet someone that makes you weak in the knees and your body tinkle from head to toe.

  • 1 decade ago

    Love is fun it is pain,joy,sorrow all wrapped up in one. But it dosen't matter how many time you are in love as long as you can keep the love inside and give it when you can. Never lose that lust to love or you are truly lost. I say love as much as you can no one is counting!

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