What can I do?

Let me start by saying that I trust my wife of 14 years completely. She has a male co-worker that she has become good friends with over the years. A couple years ago, my wife and I seperated (back together now- very happy) and he made a move on her while on a business trip. She said she told him it was never going to happen, and I beleive her. They don't work together anymore (different departments in different states) but he still calls her form time to time and emails her.. I met him a while back, and he seems like a decent guy, but he is always discussing his marriage with her, and that makes me uncomfortable. He tells my wife that he hasn't had sex in months, his wife doesn't do this or that, etc... Sometimes they end up in the same city, and will have dinner together.. I really don't like her hanging out with this guy because of what happened in the past. I trust her, but I don't trust him. I'm not going to tell her who she can and cant hang out with, so what can I do?

4 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You sound like a very decent man.

    There's really only one question at stake here and you've answered it:

    Do you trust her?

    Yes, you do.


    I don't exactly know what you mean by not trusting the guy-- your wife would have a 'say' in the matter after all. And if she tells this guy, "It's never gonna happen." then it never will.

    Sounds like you have a good, open relationship.

    Let it go.

    Bottom line is that what you can do is look into yourself and ask yourself why this is bothering you so much. Go beyond your first, obvious answer and try to figure out what this is triggering in you. Old fears, perhaps?

    She's honest. She loves you.

    What could be better than that?

    Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    You can only make your concerns known, but you can't "make" her not hang out with him. If she's not careful in a time where you and her aren't doing well this can be a bad thing. So I would ask her to please not socialize with this guy in such a manner because you really don't feel comfortable with it. Whatever she does is up to her, and she may be upset because she may think you don't trust her. You do your part in the relationship be your best even at your worst, and always be there. You seem like a good guy, who actually cares about his marriage. Her co-workers conversations seem inappropriate, and I wouldn't like it if it was happening to me. Make it very clear, and hope she listens.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you really do trust her.. then there shouldn't be a problem. Sounds to me though, that that trust may not be as strong as you claim. If that's the case.. talk to her.. tell her your insecurites, be honest. Explain that it stresses you out for her to be alone in another city with him.. that you wished it didn't.. but it does. If your marriage is as strong as you say.. she should respect your feelings and abide by them.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    continue to love her and trust her to make the right decisions...if she has been open and honest with you then you shouldn't worry....unless or until she gives you a reason not to trust her you should be thankful that you have such a good relationship....relax...good luck

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.