Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingTrying to Conceive · 1 decade ago

Seriously. Why do normal healthy people sometimes catch hell trying to have a baby...?

...but crackheads and meth addicts and drunks pop babies out like there is no tomorrow? Plus, 90% of the time, their babies are A-ok.

Are crack and meth underground fertility drugs? j/k

I am so frustrated, we can't get a baby for anything. We do it at the right times. All I eat is healthy food. Evertime my rag comes it seems like someone else has a pregnancy announcement. It seems like all the people who live off processed crud and white bread and Mickey D's are hyper fertile. Here I am over here living on organic everything and in perfect shape, and NOTHING.


11 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You sound like my wife and I. We have been trying for months and no luck. We wondered the same questions - how come welfare living, crack addicts can have kids but we can't. She finally got pregnant, made it to 5 weeks then miscarried. Maybe we should get some crack, rob a bank, go to jail, get out and get food stamps, no job then try again.

  • ljb
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I understand your frustration; it took us three years, several losses, and an uncanny number of doctors' visits before we had children.

    The issue with crackheads aside (not that I didn't feel that way at times, believe me), if you've been trying for a while with no luck you should see a reproductive endocrinologist, and, before that, you may want to see your OB/GYN (and depending on your insurance, you may need to see your OB/GYN first to get a referral).

    If you haven't done so already, you should start charting your cycles -- if you haven't been doing this and/or haven't been using a fertility monitor or OPKs, then what you believe to be the "right time" may well not be. Do you have regular cycles? Do you know if and when you ovulate? There are simple things you can do to ensure you're trying at the peak times: checking your basal body temperature, quality of cervical fluids, and cervical position will let you know when you're most likely to be ovulating. A lot of online charts or advice to simply take your temperature are not sufficient, as they will end up telling you when you ovulated after-the-fact, or make best guesses for your upcoming cycle based on previous cycles, which aren't reliable.

    As for testing: the simplest test is a semen analysis -- he may not like it but too bad, it's the least invasive test and frankly it's where the doctors are going to want to start. And other basic testing is really simple too. You may not find a specific problem, but you also may find something relatively easy to rectify. Sorry to say, the organic diet really doesn't mean much -- it's great that you do it, don't get me wrong, but if there's an issue with fertility all the organic vegetables in the world aren't going to help. And, in fact, too much soy has been linked to estrogen imbalance issues. Go figure.

    Just keep doing everything you're doing to keep yourself fit physically and psychologically. And do your best to shrug off the well intentioned, but incredibly annoying, advice. Honestly, being told to "just relax" or "try friend did that and as soon as the adoption went through she got pregnant!" is annoying, insensitive, and just plain unhelpful when fertility is an issue.

    My last bit of (wholly unsolicited) "advice" -- check out the following two things if you haven't already done so: the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility, by Toni Weschler, and the related website, at The forums on the latter are great and the users very supportive. The book will also go into greater than I did about charting your cycles.


    Source(s): is a good site to check out.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Having the women orgasm increases fertility. Stress caused by only doing it certain days in certain positions, and stressing over getting pregnant decreases fertility.

    It takes an average of 6 months for most people. Meaning 0-12 months is normal. If it has been longer than 12 months go to a doctor to get checked.

    Best of Luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    Maybe you're trying too hard. Sometimes stress will cause issues with fertility and you may skip ovulation. I know how frustrating it can be when you try to get preggers and you end up having a period or two instead. If you have any underlying medical issues, prescription drug use, illegal drug use, or your partner has any issues, they can all play a role. Even lack of exercise and diet can play a role. The body has to be pretty balanced sometimes in order to conceive. I don't know how crack users end up pregnant, I wish they couldn't while they are using. Anyway, that's a different subject... Good luck with your conception, pregnancy, child-rearing!

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  • 1 decade ago

    It;s amazing isn't it? Seems like some people, the worse the things they do to their bodies the faster they conceive. A lot of that might be genetic.

    I am sorry you are unable to conceive. My brother has the same problem. He has adopted twice.

    Why not ditch the organic diet and like like a gluttonous pig for a few months? You have nothing ot lose

    Hugs. I hope you find resolution

  • 1 decade ago

    Let me first say that I am so sorry! My husband and I consider ourselves "normal" as well. We gave birth to a little girl on May 7th and she passed on May 8th of CDH, congenital diaphragmatic hernia. I wondered the same thing once we lost her. Why our daughter? Drug addicts, prostitute's and people who could give a crap about their kids have healthy children everyday. We could have given our daughter a great life. We would have loved her unconditionally.

    I found that questioning only makes it worse. We are getting ready to try again and we are terrified. I wish you and your husband all the luck in the world. If you would like to talk to someone please email me at

    Also, check out our daughter's website.

    You will be in our prayers!

  • 1 decade ago

    Stress seriously reduces fertility. The people indulging in those sort of things certainly have little stress to be concerned about.

    Relax. Stop trying to pop a kid out so hard and enjoy life.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I knew someone like that once. She was told to have a glass of red wine before gettin busy and not to get out of bed right away either. She has two kids now after trying for about 3 years.

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't know, it does seem that way don't it? Life just isn't fair! Me & a friend were just talking about that a few months ago because she was also trying to get pregnant & couldn't. She was doing everything she could. Finally she ended up pregnant but it took her 10 months! I hope you get pregnant soon.

    Good luck & best wishes!!

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