My wife thinks oral sex is disgusting, What to do?

I always thought the best way to please a woman is to go down on her. But my wife gets upset just at the mention. I do not even ask her to give, just to recieve, but she thinks its gross and demeaning.

I'm quite upset, since half my turn on is about pleasing her and it hurts that she doesnt understand.

What do i do?

18 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I feel like the reason that she doesn't care for it is because of the way she has been taught or maybe an experience she has had...I don't know how long you have been married or how old you and your wife are but it is possible for her to change her views....talk to her before sex...don't try and convince her of all the joys of it while you're in the middle of it....remove the threat by taking it her out of the act...and resolve the issues then...slowly...

  • 1 decade ago

    You should have talked about his in the beginning before you got married. I am not sure why she finds this so disgusting or demeaning. I guess you would need to discuss with her what the issue is. Why does she hold these feelings with something that most find very normal part of intimacy within a committed relationship. And find quite pleasurable. Good luck and God bless****

  • Been there buddy, there really isn't much you can do...If she isn't "IN" to it...you can't talk her into it...

    You have two options...either live with the fact that you won't be getting the enjoyment out of that part of the relationship ot if it is something that will become a dividing point, it may be time to cut your losses and find another.

    In the end if it that big adeal to you, it will become a source of contention later...as I said...been down that road.

    Source(s): Personal experience
  • 1 decade ago

    Glo is right on this one,.... People need to be open with a lot of things sexuality included before they go and get married,... nows its to the point where you deal or don't,... don't make someone do something they don't want to,.. and if its that big a deal to you,.. perhaps you made a mistake

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  • 1 decade ago

    As bizarre as it may sound a big percentage of people think it's gross. Obviously, you are not sexually compatible with your wife. Sorry to hear. Be prepared for a lifetime of that.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Sorry pal you should have discussed your likes and dislikes before the wedding bells chimed. To me it would be grounds for divorce because you're never going to be happy in this marriage.

  • 1 decade ago

    Have you tried asking her why she don't like it,open communication is the key to a very happy sexual marriage

  • 1 decade ago

    Sex can come and go as often! But, married or otherwise, if partner is not in the mood, cool it! when she regains the mood, you can try! Nothing venture, nothing gain until her mood changes for the better!

  • 1 decade ago

    The one thing that people have never understood is what a relationship is about. When you court and are caught up in love everything is about timing. What you can do is be a man. Meaning you live on this planet for a very short time. Intise with reverse psychology. Be the man she dreams of by getting flowers and keeping conversation the same along with everything else except sex. One thing people forget is everyone can control there ability to not be disrepected. This is just that. Remeber when you were single. You need to treat her the same way. If she starts to kiss you or want to do the deed in mission style or conservative. Look at her straight into the face and tell her all you want to do is hold her. You believe that you both need to find a different plain. She will react in the following ways....she will swear.....push herself off......turn and tell you not to touch her.....or say what !!! because I won't suck your &&&& this is the way it is going to be. Again look at her and say. Our life and agreement to marry was based on one another loving each other and understanding. If my fluid digust you so much I think our problem is way bigger then sex. I love you and find it bizzare that your body changes include me understanding every month for the rest of our lives you will go through emotional and body changes that will effect me by being the brunt of dealing with up and down emotions. I did not sign up for a relationship with conditions. I am faced with them everyday and look to come home and spend it with you. I am not pleased with our relationship in regards to sex. Instead of dwelling on it and causing hardship I do not want sex to be an issue. I enjoy being within you and having you next to me when we sleep. It will be hard for me but I rather not jeopordize our marriage on sex. You did not marry me for sex anyway so this should not be an issue anyway. This is an examaple of redirecting. Women life in a world of delusion at times. Your supposed to be everything and a gaurdian. Your always in trouble for saying or doing something wrong. Men are held accountable constantly while women are mis directed by bad early experiences and influence. My rant or anyones elses does not matter. For a man to have to go to a meduim like this for help says your in love. You are a man in love looking for an answer to stay in love. Kudos to you sir.

    She needs to look beyond the task as a way to commuincate and express that we only make things gross or terrible when we program ourselves to believe what we say. Women that do not like oral sex preformed on them is a common issue because it deals with openness and vunurability....and they by nature want to give and yet have a hard time receiving. another thing is when and if they can start to enjoy they feel they must give back the same....the problem is they are novices in regards and feel ackward . Life is not about choice it is about allowing free will. The meaning of her even doing it now takes away love and puts function to please in and creates misguided direction. You must make a choice on regards to what does she offer beyond the bedroom. This is just as much her problem as yours. Do

    not be mean or get upset with her. Just be strong and not have

    any sex. then she will be stuck with choice. If she becomes cross or disrepectful and will not let it go even when you are not being rude or mean your answer is then answered. Women use controls ...He is luck and should feel fortunate that he is even with me....Why isn't my vagina enough for him. She is very niave in sex and conservative. You can not understand one true fact. You are just as inexperienced as her. When the relationship began you should have said that you will not have intercourse without oral sex on one another. So my friend get a piece of peper out and write down all the wonderful things she does and makes you feel. Then write down your feelings. She will have to look within herself and ask.....do I love him beyond the flesh and is my phobia worth losing the man I love. Oral sex is something that is just a part of expression but it is a necessary tool for a healthy relationship...especially considering they themselves in having the gift of life tend to not want any sex when 7 days are needed to restart the next cycle..

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Did you know this before getting married to her?

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