11 year old son...girl problems?
My 11 year old asked me how old he has to be to have a GF, Than told me he already thinks he has one. Than he asked me if it was alright. WHAT DO I TELL HIM?
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
I'm surprised by some of the answers. He's not asking for permission to marry this girl for crying out loud... he's asking if it's alright to have a girlfriend. "Girlfriend" needs to be considered according to what it means to an 11 year old - most likely a "friend who's a girl". Typically kids younger than your son are very focussed on kids their own gender - his friendship networks are expanding to include girls - this is fantastic and healthy...as well as very confusing for him. He needs your "ok" and your gentle guidance as to the limits to the relationship.
- 1 decade ago
Sounds like your son has a crush for the first time. Supervise their time together, and help him when the girl decides to move on to another guy (which, at that age, probably happens much quicker than most). He's learning about life in a new way to him. He has a GF. Cute, really. When he starts to ask the really tough questions, be ready for him. Don't let him find out these things the hard way, for sure. Guide him is the best thing I can think of. Good luck!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
If you watch the Tonight Show you'll understand. Make sure his girlfriend isn't his teacher.
Hey, I had a girlfriend in kindergarten. At church she would take a seat and I'd sit by her. She'd giggle and scoot over, and i'd move over. I seem to remember we held hands for about a minute or 2. The hussy, the next Sunday she was doing the same with my best friend.
First grade, I was in love with the curly haired girl. We called each other on the phone every night. I don't remember much of any conversation except hello and good bye. In second grade, I carried her bood for the first time. I think it was third grade we held hands for about an hour. We didn't say a word the whole time.
Fourth grade, I fell in love with the girl no one else in class liked, the one with cooties. She was sweet. She was a little chubby, which was why no one liked her. It was thier loss. I walked her home every day, carrying both our books. My desire was to hold her hand, but it took both hands to hold the books. Eventually, she started slipping her arm in the crook of my arm. I was in heaven. She was actually the first girl i could talk to over the phone. She moved and I was alone until 6th grade.
Now 6th was weird. I was still alone, but the little sister of a friend got a crush on me. Everytime I went to his house, his sister would plop down on the couch by me. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I'd be nice to her. Even held her hand when she grabbed mine. Everybody but me thought it was cute. She finally got a crush on another friend.
Your son has a g/f? Big deal. When he's 50, he'll remember all those childhood crushes with a smile.
- ~Another Day~Lv 51 decade ago
That you are fine with it limit the phone calls and ONLY have supervised visits where they hang out. For instance my son at 11 ( he is now 13)had one but I would go to the mall or skating rink with him (walked in seperately and was not under his butt) But I had an eagle eye going on. He is gonna find ways around your disapproval so go with it on YOUR terms. And if you get a chance to speak with the girls family DO IT...But if you really do not approve tell him to wait...but I have found that isn't so good because they find ways around it (My parent was one of those)
Good Luck to you!
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- dunkelbergerLv 44 years ago
no longer something to tension approximately. Be a stable ascertain and saved a eye on everyting thats going on. on no account nag, yet be company on your approaches while mandatory. you will, I assure you, have a feeling if some thing isn't good. At this age, its kool to declare you have a g/f or b/f and thats all its in lots of circumstances approximately. telephone calls, walk mutually. Thats whats kool to do. stable thought, is to have the lady or boy for supper or a BBQ at your place. this form you get to comprehend the youngster greater efficient, the toddlers sense guard with you and it retains the communications between you all open. additionally a lid on each thing.
- 1 decade ago
well whether you want him to or not he will have a "girlfriend". but since he is only 11 the relationship wont be that serious anyway. Just keep talking to him and let him ask questions & dont be afraid to ask questions too.
- amosunknownLv 71 decade ago
Do you want him to date already? Is he planning on settling down in the near future and needs to start looking for an appropriate mate?
I think not.
He'll have enough time for complex adult relationships once he is an adult, until then, he cant have successful relationships of anykind until he masteres the art of friendship, which is what childhood is all about.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Have THE TALK right away. Nurture wholesome relationships. Invite her over for a "grown up" dinner so you can meet her and her parents.
- 1 decade ago
That depends on your beleifs and values. Feel free to restrict the hell out of him. Your child, your choice. Good luck.
- redpeach_miLv 71 decade ago
ask him to define what a girlfriend is to him. then tell him that you would have like it if he had asked BEFORE he has the girlfriend. children at that age have a vastly different image of what a girlfriend/boyfriend is. i had my first "boyfriend" in first grade.