tips for not being shy and also flirting tips please!!?

i am a really shy person and i would like to find out how to break out of my shell and meet new people instead of blending into the background all of the time.

5 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You have to force yourself. It's not easy but it's a habit you have to start. You are in the habit of blending in, so start sticking out. Don't let your fear paralyze you. Don't sit in the corner and think about how shy you are and all the things that you think are wrong with you. Push forward and say hi to people. Ask them questions that will require them to answer with a sentence. Don't talk about yourself but approach people with a genuine interest in them. People love to talk and their favorite subject is themself. Ask them questions about their likes, dislikes, clothing, food, school....anything, just keep the conversation pointed toward them and they will see that you are interested in them. In turn, they will begin to be interested in you and want to get to know you. Many people are shy, you are not alone....fake it until you make it.

  • 1 decade ago

    Ok, ladies...Sorry if this is too long...

    Most of us are not naturally inclined to go outside of our comfort zone and meet new people. Some, though, tend to have a broader definition of what their comfort zone is. Shyness comes from 2 main sources, a natural fear of the unknown and our family/friends/environment nurturing that reaction in us. This takes time and it will take some time to work around if you truly want to change your personality. It CAN be done, it just takes more effort to re-train yourself from years of that path of development.

    So, you don't have to be the "Rah-Rah" cheerleader type, but being less shy means more interaction with others.

    I think many of you think that you HAVE to necessarily go outside that comfort zone. Not necessarily true. Mostly, you just have to find the right area of your comfort zone into which to invite people. That's all most "extroverts" do. They bring people into their comfort zone. Overcoming shyness doesn't mean you have to walk up to complete strangers all the time and start talking to them. But if someone you don't know (or you kinda know) walks up to you and starts talking, just listen to them and reply when necessary.

    Make a list of all the places you like to go, all the things you like to do, watch, play, etc. and all the things you believe or feel. These are things in your comfort zone. These are things you are confident about and that is the main thing in overcoming shyness or stagefright: confidence.

    Invite people over to places you feel comfortable. Talk to them about things you like. Tell someone about your favorite TV show. Also, MAKE yourself go and do things. There will be no magic pill or overnight energy boost. You have to get yourself in a habit of actually wanting to go out and do things. Then, it will just be like a second nature to you, you won't even have to think about it. This doesn't mean you have to go out with a whole group of friends or on a date. Just start finding things you think you might like and go by yourself or with a friend. Then, after you have gotten in the habit of going out to different places, you can take a different friend or more friends. Or ask your friend to invite someone else to come along. You can meet a new person that way.

    As for people you like or have a crush on, the same thing applies...Find wherever your comfort zones are (whatever or wherever they may be) and see if that other person shares at least one of them or is willing to go there.

    If someone is trying to talk to you, then just listen to them. If you can, try to meet them in a place you feel comfortable (not always possible, I know) or listen intently trying to pick up on something you like and relate it to something in your comfort zone.

    Realize that, if someone comes up to you to talk, you are in control as to how long that meeting lasts. You might not control the topic, but you get to choose whether to reply or brush them off, etc.

    If you are approaching someone, realize that you are in control as to the topic of the conversation usually.

    Don't be afraid because you are in control.

    There's a lot more I could say, but I will wind up taking up whole chapters. lol.

    In a nutshell...You don't have to necessarily go all out to meet people, but actually, the trick is to bring others into your comfort zones. Maybe team up with an outgoing friend who can force you to go out more or introduce you more. Often, it is just not learning how to greet people that is keeping you back.

    Hope you take care and have fun meeting new people! :)

  • 1 decade ago

    hmm... well try sitting down one night and say that im going to change i dont want to be this person anymore i want to open up to others and be frendly.. you can also pray to Jesus at night to help you; he will i promise

  • 1 decade ago

    hey me too tell me when u get the right one's my e-mail is halija4u@yahoo.ca

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    yah me too sam_roxmysox@yahoo.com

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.