How can I break the cycle without breaking hearts?

Growing up, I was the social butterfly and local party girl but I've moved in with my fiance (who I call my husband) and I want to change that part of my life. How can I shy away from my crowd of party buddies without breaking their hearts or hurting their feelings?

7 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I am sure your friends have to understand that people move on with their lives. Also, there are times we grow up and grow out of that lifestyle. However, you don't have to shy away from your friends. Invite them over to your house, of course, ask "hubby" when is a good time to do that and see how he feels about it. But throw a little gathering, allow them to see how happy you are and in love you are. They will get the idea, without feeling snubbed by you. Have a girls night out once and a while or, I am sure one of your friends are in a relationship, invite them out with you and your hubby.

    If they are good friends, they will be happy with your decision and your happiness. I am sure that the fact you are a social butterfly and bubbly personality was a reason why he fell in love with you in the first place and if your hubby loves you, he will not expect you to change totally. Be yourself, never change that.

    Life is too short too lose your friends and you can have the best of both worlds if you balance it out right.

    Enjoy and Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    More then likely your "party buddies" are not your true friends anyway. If they're just people you go out to the bar too, or call when you're bored and want to get drunk (or vice versa) then if you shy away from the bar scene, you won't be hearing from them anyway. A true friend will respect your decision and wouldn't let something like not going to the bar or partying as much get in the way of your friendship. There are still plenty of things to do as friends.

  • 1 decade ago

    Let them know that you've reached a new chapter in your life. Tell them that you need your space, and want to be with your fiance, and that you don't want to be a party girl, rather you want to be a one-man-woman. You can still hang out with them, just let them no you're not into partying 'like that' anymore.

  • 1 decade ago


    to be honest all you have to do is sit them all down or wait for an opportunity where they are all together and casually mention in a conversation, that now that you are married or will be getting married, things in your life have to change because now you have to think in function of two and not just yourself like before... that the parties will be lessened, and the hanging out too.... let them know that it's not that you aren't going to hang out with them anymore, it's just going to be with less frequency than before you had someone that serious in your life...

    if they are real friends,they will understand!

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    show them that other side of you...

    maybe invite them to do things with you and your husband that you two enjoy...

    the milder Movies..or a nice potluck dinner..things that aren't the "party crowd"

    they may find they like it or they may make the choice to stay in the party zone.

    but either've given them a choice...and they can't be hurt for that..

  • 1 decade ago

    Just tell them the truth...if they are really your friends they will understand. besides its been my experiance that when you settle down you end up making new friends that are couples as well.

  • 1 decade ago

    You don't you make a commitment to your " HUSBAND" and forget everyone else. IF YOU are REALLY ready for that.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.