Totally Confused!?

I met a guy a few weeks ago at the bar and we traded numbers and have been talking for a bout 2 weeks now. He lives in a small town about 4 hours from me and has asked me to come see him. He's willing to pay for everything my gas everything if I come up there. I'm 20 and he's 19 not a big age diff but I've never dated anyone younger than me. I mean my ex was 28 so I like older guys. anyways my confusion comes from the fact that I'm kinda already seeing some one I mean he know I don't want to be commited to anyone right now, I'm not sure how to work this situation of telling him where or why I'm going out of town. He knows I met this guy but not that we've been talking. soooo...I mean I'm 20 I have a 2yr old daughter this is the first time in 3 yrs I've single my ex is in jail I think I should date around and see what else is out there, I don't know? Any help?

18 Answers

  • Ivar
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You said it, its your ex thats in jail. Good for you that he's your ex. Of course you should "play the field".

  • 1 decade ago

    Okay you met the guy in a bar thats okay don't get me wrong, but here is the issue I have with this being a female that is single myself. He wants you to come visit him and he's willing to pay for your gas and all expenses in doing so. If he is willing to do that then why can't he drive to see you? I mean is there a reason as to why he can't do that if there is not a hidden agenda here? I think I would make it a point for him to come visit you in an area where its public and well lit around many people. You don't know this guy and don't be naive. Now for the second issue of the guy you are currently seeing; you say he knows that you don't want to be in a commited relationship right now so why hide the fact that you want to meet with this new guy? I understand if you are trying to not hurt the guys feelings but at the same time if you are not in fact exclusive then alls fair and equal as to what you want to do. Don't hide it from him because if he finds out later then it could ruin all chances of something more with him. You are young, you have a child, you haven't been single in 3 years so the attention you are getting right now feels great, don't waste your time trying to do everything in your power to please someone when you aren't exclusive. Also don't meet this guy that wants to pay for your trip there, make him meet you half way or he send the money beforehand or he drive there to meet you.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you are seeing somebody, then you should stop seeing them before you go up and see this other guy.

    To me if a woman was to say I don't want to be committed right now that to me means more of like... i don't' want to get married right now, not I want to have freedom to sleep around.

    That isn't ok, even if this other guy "knows" that you don't want to be committed to anyone right now or not.

    Look it is easy to say well I have made no promises and then not hold yourself accountable for what you do in a relationship, but if you look into your heart you know that this would be wrong. That is why you are confused.

    If you want to date this other guy (or go up to see him for anything that you wouldn't feel comfortable doing with the guy you are seeing now in the room) then you have to break it off with the guy you are seeing.

    You will get treated in life the way you treat other people (most of th time) so if you don't treat the guy you are currently seeing, or the guy you are about to see with respect then people won't treat you with any.

    Look if you go see this other guy, that doesn't make you evil but you may regret it, and take it from somebody who is older than you, you will never ever be disappointed or ashamed of yourself for taking the more difficult road in a situation like this.

    Decide if you want to date the guy you are seeing or not, and make a decision on how you would want to be treated, not on what you want to do for yourself.

    Good luck and I hope this helps.

  • 1 decade ago

    When I dated around and went out of town with someone, I would tell the others I had to go on a business trip. I know it is lying but it was better than answering 50 million questions all the time about how do you feel about "us" and "him". If you are not committed I don't see what a little white lie would hurt.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Its best you wait a little while longer than jumping into the ship that may sink. Getting entangled in all these realationships could bring more pain. Ask yourself if you're ready for yet another relationship especially when you have a 2 year old on tow. If could be infatuation about the guy you met 2 weeks ago at the bar. Thread careful lest you're get hurt.

  • Niko
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    If this other guy wants to see you then tell him to come to you. You have a child - that should be your first priority. While it's great that you're getting out there and dating - it probably wouldn't be safe to go to some guy's place that you don't know.

    Good luck w/ the dating thing though. :P Good guys are really hard to find these days.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you don't want to be in a commited relationship right now, I don't see a problem with going up to see this new guy as long as both guys know that you are not looking for anything serious right now.

  • 1 decade ago

    You should not go visit him, so you have talked to him for 2 weeks you still do not know him, he could be some kind of nut for all u know, why dose he not come visit you in your town. You should be looking around till you find what you want, but don't take chances you may be sorry. and most of all be honest with who ever your with..

  • 4 years ago

    i think of you may completely be acquaintances with him and choose what your coronary heart is making an attempt to tell you. in case you're afriad of being rejected then go sluggish. He must be into you to. i comprehend there are different web content that could greater efficient cater to those that dont comprehend in the event that they are bi or gay or at as quickly as or notwithstanding and that they have issues like messages boards the place people going throught the comparable element can communicate mutually approximately it. you may Google it i think of it may provide help to a lot!! stable luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    You can date who you like, nobody owns you. If you are in a relationship(no matter how commited) you shoul tell the one you are with, about the one you want to see.(not to tell him would be disrepectful) Do it as soon as possible, the longer you wait the worse it is.

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