Should I leave him? I have a baby with him but he also has a baby from a recent affair?

I have been married for 18 years, I was very young but I took the responsibility of raising his four kids (triplet girls & a boy - now young adults). After 17 years I finally became pregnant, after convinced that will never happen. For me she is my miracle baby (8 months old) - I found out of his affair before my pregnancy, he continously assured me that affair was over. I found out that the other woman had a baby when mine was 3 months old. She knew I was pregnant and did the same to make sure the affair did not end. I packed his things many times and told him to leave but his plea for another chance convinced me to give it another try. His family and kids also pleaded on his behalf.I told him to arrange for child support, but instead he wants to be back and forth with both of us, he had broken every promise he made until now & I am disgusted and tired. I just want to be happy & enjoy my baby. I don't think it's fair I raised his 4 kids & now I have to raise mine on my own.Devastated

19 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It will be hard but you should leave him. Very rarely will a cheater be able to change and I think your husband has already proved that he can't change. It will not be easy raising a baby on your own but you seem strong so I believe you can do it. Please don't stay with a cheater. Let the other girl have him!

    Source(s): Life Experience
  • 1 decade ago

    Honey you are truly blessed, he is the one that is wrong and so you raise that sweet little miracle of yours. he is a liar and deceiver and will never change. don't look at what you did for his children as a bad thing . what you did was a selfless and loving thing don't let him take that from you or make you feel like you were used . his kids love and needed you when they where growing up and you gave them what they needed and in the long run god gave you what you wanted a baby and he also gave you the freedom to leave this bum . he is no good and will always be like that . I'm sure he cheated on you the whole 17 yrs you where there taking care of his kids. so yes you must raise your daughter on your own ( with the help of child support &spousal support) . this child will be raise in a home built on love and trust not lies so you see your blessing was deliverance from a cheat you have been set free from all his bullsh!t so take your bundle of joy and run run to your happiness your child deserves it and you happy hoildays and good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    There is only 2 choices here. Leave him and have part of his income going toward the child support of the lover's child, or stay with him and have part of his income going to another woman's child.

    I vote for leaving him. The kids are old enough to be without you. Now is just the babies. You will need to work real hard either way. It is not fair for you and I simpathize.

  • 1 decade ago

    Auch!!

    I am going to tell you this... I imagine that it is enough hard

    to think about a divorce after all this time and much more now that you have your own baby with him, but if in your heart no

    longer you feel nothing by this man and you think that no longer it goes to change... is better if you think about the separation. If

    you are a woman strong and able to follow ahead with your baby, do it... But if you even think that you want it and you do not want

    that your baby grows without having the presence of its father in the house, tell him that you are going to follow with him, but from now on

    you will give him the conditions and your limits... you will have him

    doing the things as you want and on approval...

    As far as that other

    woman... in fact she is a stupid one, destroying homes....sure...

    as you said... had that baby to retain it to him... you do not

    look for them, nor nothing... keep hard and strong....because that baby is

    not the guilty of anything... but let your husband know that

    he has to fulfill and do something good if he wants to go ahead with the relation... better if he start right now!! good luck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    It sounds like he has never grown up. You should not have to put up with his mess anymore. I am sure at this point in your life, you want some peace of mind. It must be a hard thing, if he keeps on cheating. their has to come to a time in your life, when you say, enough is enough! I hope that you can search your soul, for the best decision, that you can live with, now pray about it, and God will see you through!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Whoa, yeah you are in a very unfair situation.....i would let him go. As far as his kids go, you did just give birth to their half sister, so they will be in constant contact with you. you didn't do it for nothing because i bet they really look at you as a mother figure. You aren't letting them go, you are just letting him go. Make him pay his child support and be done with it. he will regret it all in the end. He loved you enough to stay with you for 17 years. He will realize what a mistake he made! Tell him to make sure that the other kid is his too, sounds like that ***** is crazy. She could just be saying it is his. He needs to keep his dick in his pants! That's a lot of dang kids!

  • favrd1
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I don't believe in Divorce really, but in this case, I think you are rightfully justified. This man is very very selfish and disrespectful. You and especially your child deserve much better than this. This is not the type of an example a child should have for a father. My heart goes out to you....

  • 1 decade ago

    Your right it's not fair and I am sure you are devastated but you will never be happy with this lying, cheating man. He will continue to play both of you women and use his kids as leverage to do so. You should leave him. NOT to mention he obviously sleeps around unprotected!!! He could have given you a death sentence instead of a child. You want to be happy?...LEAVE.

    Source(s): HOW BOUT YOU!
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Fair? What a joke. Why should he buy a cow when the milk is free? Close your legs and grow up. This guy thinks with the wrong head and you let him. Oh BooHoo on you. I never met a woman like you. Wish I had, could have done what I wanted all my life instead of being a responsible adult.

  • 1 decade ago

    He is not going to leave the girlfriend behind. He has a baby with her and will have to see her because of the "baby". If he has cheated before with her you know he is eventually going to give in to temptation. And if she got preg because you were then you know she is going to tempt him. So you have to decide. Do you want to share your husband and raise your baby together or do you want to raise you baby by yourself. I would not share my husband. Thinks of the child.

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