Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

Should and how do I move on?

My husband and I have been marrried 9 years. We have three kids, 3,5, 7. It was very good until three years ago. He then started working late alot. late and on weekends, and then on weekends he was "too tired" to do anything ( we have able and ready babysitter-both sets of grandparents). Two years ago, I started going with my friends in Las Vegas twice a month. It then became once a week and before you know it I had accumulated all of this debt. My husband moved out. Turned out that a year before he moved out, he started seeing another woman. He continued to see her after he moved out. Now he wants to come home. I have quit completely, gone to counseling and participate in DA. He says that he has realized that he was having a mid-life crisis and wants his family back. My gut is telling me to move on, my heart says try again, particularly when I see how it is affecting my kids. Will he leave if I have cancer? Unfair, but I wond

Update:

Vegas is 25 minutes from our house. Also, No kids were neglected. In fact, he wants me to keep the kids because I am the "better parent."

Update 2:

I work and worked full time as well, enough to pay my bills, save substantially for our retirement nad pick up the healthcare payments and gas and light.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    He used you as an excuse to move out. Why otherwise would he admit to a mid-life crisis and get counseling? He apparently had a lot to do with your finding the wrong way to cope with his absences. If he is not going to be present or give up other women, move on.

    A good provider or father is not necessarily a good husband.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you can imagine your life with him again... then talk with your kids...and ask them for opinion...cuz they will suffer most from the divorce (if you choose that).

    Marriage has its own ups and downs. You are not the first nor the last women that is happening this ( I mean infedelity )....

    It's up to...If you want to turn a new page of life... then do it...but ...it might not be so easy as you think....I believe that there would be a lot of moments when you will miss him ( you were 9 years with him), you will miss a lot of things.

    But if you think that the weight of what he did is pushing away from him...then you don't have to try again.

    May god be with you...take care my yahoo friend.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Get a piece of paper. Make a line down the center. On the right list all the reasons why you shouldn't get back together. On the left list all the reasons why you should get back together.

    Study them and see what your heart is telling you.

    Next, ask yourself, would you be better off with him, or wthout him?

    Finally, ask yourself what brought about the separation in the first place and has it ever been resolved so it doesn't happen again?

  • 1 decade ago

    If I were your husband I would have left you a long time ago. You are lucky to have any man at this point. He's out busting his asss and you are pisssing it away.

    That would be like if you made him a birthday cake and he came home and squashed it with his hand.

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  • 1 decade ago

    um he was working , you have 3 little kids , you went to vegas once a week and you are worried about your husband being an idiot?

    go figure

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