Should I let it be? Ok, after much obsessing over my guy's feelings for me, I let my cards out on the table

Friday night. I asked him how important I was to him. I asked him "Why don't you love me?" He came back immediatly and said that he did. He has never said that before in our three year "relationship" He said that he had hoped his actions were speaking for him and that the words had not been spoken because they scare him and had gotten him into trouble before. He said he would do his best to let me know more often. Ok, it is Monday....I have talked to him three or four times since then (just on the phone) and he has not said it since he left my house on Saturday morning. Is this a bad sign? Or do I just need to let it go and see, give him time.....What do you think?

10 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    please, don't obsess so much about it!

    All he said sounds to me very sincere and honest. I'm sure he loves you and although he said he will do his best to let you know moreoften that he loves you, he did not exactly say that he will say the three magical words more often. Obviously he has made some bad experiences in the past. I don't know him but I can guess that he is a very independant character and maybe fears to lose himself in the relationship or becomes dependant on you and the relationship when he says the words (it does NOT mean he doesn't love you, but when he actually says the words it becomes official and set and he can't take it back, so that might scare him). Please give him AND you some time to ease into the topic. Maybe you want to tell him that you love him in special moments that you share. And don't expect that he replies the same way. If he doesn't, he is still scared but hearing the words from you and experiencing that nothing changes in your behaviour and relationship even if he doesn't say to you 'I love you' will give him confidence for the future to tell you sometime and see that you will still be the same people and nothing bad is happening.

    I wish you all the best. And if you need some literature: read 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. It is a great book.

  • maren
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    heart breaks are by no skill elementary. i am going to inform you comprehend i'm satisfied u dont opt for to run to a distinct guy, it truly is the worst mistake to make even as u chop up. by no skill run to a distinct guy. that is a procedure yet I have a element that seems so elementary even though it replaced my existence. a million. Delete his style, images, any facebook message...some thing you've on him. you dont ought to ignore him, or stop being his pal on myspace...only delete some thing element that shows u were togeter. 2. Take in the way ahead for sorrow, stay at your position, watch a chick flick or 2. it is ur one crying day 3. bypass out including your female pals, you dont ought to seek for adult males only hit upon the hot international. confer with them 4. exhibit your self, write a poem, music, do artwork only some thing you appreciate and exhibit the way you experience about them, get all of it out as we talk, so that you by no skill ought to bypass decrease back to it. 5. Get a sparkling topic music. some thing that tells you've been to bypass next. Remeber: he's not properly worth it, what's performed is performed, existence will bypass on. And...this is going to likely be okay interior the properly, if this is not okay, then this is not the properly.

  • 1 decade ago

    let it go - you are gonna run him off if you persist ....he loves you - or he wouldnt be with you....saying it more often doesnt make it just makes you feel better about it...and give him a chance to say it before you scold him....its only been days since he said he would try to say it more...give it time....or you may have all the time you can handle - alone...guys are scared to say that often

  • 1 decade ago

    Honestly, actions really do speak louder than words. If he is treating you well, and he said it to you then, it could just be that he is uncomfortable saying it - he'd rather show it. That's kind of admirable. But then, he has to actually show it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    If he said he did, he meant it. Let him get used to saying it and don't take it personally if you don't hear it as often as you like. Remember, you have to assume he is now willing to say it more often than he would have prior to your talk, so you two are compromising. That's how it works.

  • 1 decade ago

    Is this a bad sign?! The man said he loves you and it's hard for him to express it! You'll have to let him do it in his own way.

    Are you kidding? This is the most ridiculous question.

  • sunbun
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    let it go---give him some time

    for some people---those are the most difficult words ever to say

    and for others--they only associate those words with marriage and he may not be ready for marriage just yet

  • 1 decade ago

    Do you think he loves you by his actions? If so, then words do not matter. Would you prefer if he tell you many times he love you, but then treat you badly???!!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Can you talk to his mother at all?

    Maybe he was raised in a house that didn't say "I love you" and he's not used to it.

  • 1 decade ago

    'why don't you love me?..'

    'I do'

    Just like that? bam!? like he didn't have time to think before he said it? i'd say he does so no point pushing it. mine tells me he loves me every half hour. very annoying! maybe it's better to have it your way round.

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