Should I let it be? Ok, after much obsessing over my guy's feelings for me, I let my cards out on the table
Friday night. I asked him how important I was to him. I asked him "Why don't you love me?" He came back immediatly and said that he did. He has never said that before in our three year "relationship" He said that he had hoped his actions were speaking for him and that the words had not been spoken because they scare him and had gotten him into trouble before. He said he would do his best to let me know more often. Ok, it is Monday....I have talked to him three or four times since then (just on the phone) and he has not said it since he left my house on Saturday morning. Is this a bad sign? Or do I just need to let it go and see, give him time.....What do you think?
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
please, don't obsess so much about it!
All he said sounds to me very sincere and honest. I'm sure he loves you and although he said he will do his best to let you know moreoften that he loves you, he did not exactly say that he will say the three magical words more often. Obviously he has made some bad experiences in the past. I don't know him but I can guess that he is a very independant character and maybe fears to lose himself in the relationship or becomes dependant on you and the relationship when he says the words (it does NOT mean he doesn't love you, but when he actually says the words it becomes official and set and he can't take it back, so that might scare him). Please give him AND you some time to ease into the topic. Maybe you want to tell him that you love him in special moments that you share. And don't expect that he replies the same way. If he doesn't, he is still scared but hearing the words from you and experiencing that nothing changes in your behaviour and relationship even if he doesn't say to you 'I love you' will give him confidence for the future to tell you sometime and see that you will still be the same people and nothing bad is happening.
I wish you all the best. And if you need some literature: read 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. It is a great book.
- marenLv 44 years ago
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- beachnut222000Lv 41 decade ago
let it go - you are gonna run him off if you persist ....he loves you - or he wouldnt be with you....saying it more often doesnt make it better...it just makes you feel better about it...and give him a chance to say it before you scold him....its only been days since he said he would try to say it more...give it time....or you may have all the time you can handle - alone...guys are scared to say that often
- starlet_8Lv 41 decade ago
Honestly, actions really do speak louder than words. If he is treating you well, and he said it to you then, it could just be that he is uncomfortable saying it - he'd rather show it. That's kind of admirable. But then, he has to actually show it.
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- randykenLv 61 decade ago
If he said he did, he meant it. Let him get used to saying it and don't take it personally if you don't hear it as often as you like. Remember, you have to assume he is now willing to say it more often than he would have prior to your talk, so you two are compromising. That's how it works.
- 1 decade ago
Is this a bad sign?! The man said he loves you and it's hard for him to express it! You'll have to let him do it in his own way.
Are you kidding? This is the most ridiculous question.
- sunbunLv 61 decade ago
let it go---give him some time
for some people---those are the most difficult words ever to say
and for others--they only associate those words with marriage and he may not be ready for marriage just yet
- 1 decade ago
Do you think he loves you by his actions? If so, then words do not matter. Would you prefer if he tell you many times he love you, but then treat you badly???!!!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Can you talk to his mother at all?
Maybe he was raised in a house that didn't say "I love you" and he's not used to it.
- 1 decade ago
'why don't you love me?..'
Just like that? bam!? like he didn't have time to think before he said it? i'd say he does so no point pushing it. mine tells me he loves me every half hour. very annoying! maybe it's better to have it your way round.