Aquamarine asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

I feel strange...can you give me advice?

I am in this stage of life...I'm calm...but I can feel it something is broken inside me. i'm not hte person I used to be.Full of joy ,happy and sincere.by the time people that hurt me from the past, my failures made me wiser, but yet more calm and boring person....but constantly I had and victories, that would cheer me up.. Now, how to get over this strange feeling inside of me?

thanks.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Oh bless your heart. You're human. And you haven't given up, or settled for being boring, or gradually diminishing. I send you a very big hug 'cos you sound like a lovely person. And I've been where you are and I know how very tough it is; I used to have my share of victories and then a doctor nearly killed me and for several years I was very low on energy and accomplishments, and it doesn't half hurt.

    Now for a few practical things. Do you need a new hobby or interest? Never too late to learn a musical instrument, or join a choir, or take up photography ... but it sounds as if you need something social, not solitary. Who needs your help? Can you offer your services to an online advice line? You sound as if you've had experiences that would be useful in helping others, and that'll give you some new victories - there's something really rewarding in helping someone get their life back in order.

    Start writing your autobiography; maybe not for publication on a wide scale, but perhaps as a family memoir - 'what I learned and how I learned it.' Or if you're younger, collect the oral history from the older members of your family because the younger generation will want to know about their inheritance.

    Small things: every time someone does something nice, thank them - especially the people who don't get many thanks, like the people on check-out in the supermarket, the website that always delivers on time and to quality.

    I promise you that this flat patch *will* pass and you'll move onwards and upwards.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Apparently you do not like this steady progression into a duller state of mind. Now that is called age and maturity. But in the event that you do not wish to be mature, there are ways of retarding the process. Either go out and do something fun while treating everyone you meet like sh*t, or go shoot someone! Now the feeling inside of you could either be guilt and boredom over victories as you grow wiser and stronger, or it could mean that you are steadily growing insane. My advice to you is this: don't see a psychologist, just relax a little, find a mate, spend more time with friends, and put your work first (it will give you a sense of satisfaction and occupy your time so you don't have time to think about feelings like this). Most importantly, take risks while you can and take pleasure in the little things. From a guy off the street.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, as we get older, we do end up settling into our lives. Perhaps that strange feeling is nostalgia for the more passionate times of your life, when things were happening and life might not have been perfect, but it was exciting.

    Remember that the nostalgia for those exciting times is going through the filter of today's calmer times; the pain of the bad isn't as strong in your memory, and the sweet remembrances still hold their powerful emotions. Recently, I let myself get caught up in a more exciting moment like I used to live a long time ago (college years), and I found myself miserable and wishing for the calm to come back.

    Sometimes you need to let go and let the world get chaotic around you to remember why getting to this place was a goal in the first place. This doesn't mean you should shy away from excitement. In the next six months, learn to do something you've always wanted to do but never got the chance to or were too afraid to. You don't have to be an expert -- just try it and put that "What If?" to bed.

  • 1 decade ago

    We all go through mental changes as we mature, when we are younger (teens-mid 20's) we tend to take more risks, be more adventurous. It's ok to be "calm". You say something inside you is "broken"? Is it your heart, by chance? I know that I am generally a happy person, but hardly euphoric everyday allday....I have low days and up days....I think its healthy, as long as you don't drift too far....I think that whatever your holding inside needs to be let go in the form of forgiveness....I'm trying that as well, its hard. I know. Someone from my past has resurfaced, and as much as I say that I don't hold grudges...a part of me can't let go..what to do? Well, I've been trying to "work it out", I think I should speak to that person and let them know what the past has done to me. I think talking, being open and honest with yourself will put you one step closer to being that happier person that your longing to returning to. I'm sure you'll find yourself again. It is a long journey, but when you get there.....it will be worth the wait and you can take a huge sigh of relief that you made it through.

    Take it easy and make sure that you smile and laugh at least once a day. It helps....and be around those people that bring it out in you!!!

    Take care :)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I had felt ur situation already.that's right that u need some changes to ur life now but be careful of the changes that u would make ,sometimes these kindav changes even make it worse.

    you can follow the things that u sused to do before but it is not goin' ta work always CUZ I (through my own experience) u ,urself, have changed a lot.I can say u can gradually make changes in ur circumstances.do not go for big changes at the same time.let it happen regularly in this way all the wanted changes will stick ta ur life.

    I hope u can make it!

  • 4 years ago

    It sounds like you want a sparkling love activity. She ought to comprehend how you experience, that you nevertheless have emotions for her yet you're keen to be her pal because you should quite have her on your life than no longer. yet when her mom and father dont approve thats no longer an outstanding signal for a destiny courting. attempt to spend time with different women or meet some new ones because undergo in concepts that is an ex lady friend and he or she purely thinks of you as a pal immediately.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    These are the adult equivalent to growing pains felt in adolescence.

    When the body is finished, them comes the mind.

    You are at am impasse, you are evolving. Think of it as a caterpillar to a chrysalis. You are awaiting your own entrance into your own grand finale~

    We all live, we all feel, we all die. Take stock and learn to be what and who you were meant to be. Enjoy the discovery and stop trying to fight it.

    Anxiety comes as a result of living against your own inner truths and ideologies. Truth is truth, it and change are the only true things in life that remain constant. Truth however, is relative!

    "Happiness is knowing that you do not necessarily require it to be happy." Sartre

  • 1 decade ago

    It sounds to me like you need a change in life maybe not a large change like relocation or change of job but maybe a new hobby might help maybe try something like joining a bowling league or pool hall somewhere where you can meet new people to have fun with and make new victories for yourself hope this helps

  • 1 decade ago

    Forget about the past and live happily about the present. Don't spoilt you days remembering the past unhappiness. Why not enjoy your days heartily in your present life. Try it, you can do it.

  • 1 decade ago

    go back to your old ways and live a little. Take more chances in life and experience things you've never done before. Be spontaneous!

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