how should finances be handled when one spouse works and the other stays home???

one spouse works and the other stays home (has trouble working due to health issues) should finances be handled???...should the working spouse dictate how every penny is spent??? should the nonworking spouse recieve an allowance, or have to ask for money to buy any personal items (in which case the working spouse may or may not grant the money)??? what do you think???

13 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    My spouse did that. He who has the gold makes the rules. We are in divorce court this month.

  • Assuming you are not the poster who posted a similar scenario.

    A marriage is a partnership, so no one person should dictate anything. Whether working or not each spouse should have a say in finances. What if the working spouse decided that since he/she made the money and they like gambling that they could gamble all the money away???

    The allowance is a different issue. Could be the person receiving the allowance may have a spending problem and shops frivolously. In that case maybe a leash on the availability to money is in order to help this person.

    Bottom line is if you are the person receiving the allowance and do not like it, find alternative ways to make money. PT jobs, full-time jobs, selling items on eBay, etc.

    If this is the poster before whose husband probably will not let her get a job, you may have to decide if this is the right relationship for you.

  • 1 decade ago

    I am a non-working spouse. I have been married almost 18 yrs., From the first day we got married I have had the responsibility of all the finances. Not because I asked just because my husband chose me to pay all the bills. When I worked we split everything down the middle. Now that I don't, I still handle the finances, I just tell him what the bills amount to and then if I need extra for other things besides the bills he just gives it to me. He knows I have all ways been responsible, with money. He usually ends up with about a 1/4 of his payroll, Which is not bad considering, we only have 1 income and we have 2 teenage girls. And ALOT of bills.

  • 1 decade ago

    If the stay-at-home spouse is still contributing to the maintenance of the household, she or he is entitled to an equal portion of the money that goes into the house. Maintaining a household is a two part thing: money for upkeep and the actual upkeep. If the outside working spouse didn't have anyone else staying at home and maintaining the household, what would that house look like? It's a two-man job and both jobs are equal. They both have a say-so in how the funds are spent... equally

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  • 1 decade ago

    Regardless of which works & which doesn't... the money being brought in is "household" money. It shouldn't be his/hers it should be "ours". If one person brings in the money & the other just blows it, then you have some issues, but if the one staying home isn't frivilously blowing the money, but is instead acting responsible then there shouldn't be any allowances or things of that nature. When you "need" something, then you need it... but if you "want" something, that's entirely a different issue. We can live without wants, but not needs. Discuss this with your spouse to find out where they are coming from. They shouldn't be so proudful that money becomes theirs even if they work hard for it, because it's brought into the household. It's not just one person living there, it's 2, & possibly children as well. The spouse that's working, is working to provide for their family. While the one who isn't, is working at home to provide a clean environment to live in.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I don't know about what other people do.But I stay at home with our son.And my husband work.In our home we put the money we earn into a joint checking account and pay our bills out of that. We don't have a lot of extra money because we took a 30,000 $$$ + year hit to our budget when I stopped working.But my husband isn't one of those a**'s whom think he is the only one working in our relationship.He knows that we are equally in this and deserve equal payment.So we don't really have issues with whom gets what. In fact my husband doesn't care what happens to the rest of the money has long has he has his house,food and Harley I could pretty much do what ever with the rest.But, I only do what is necessary and I don't blow money I guess that is one of the reasons why he isn't possessive of the money he know I am not wasting it all on tons of cloths and other useless stuff.Besides if he ever did put me on an allowance i would start charging by the hour for the care I take of him and our son and home.Like Dr. Phil says the average homemaker works the equivalent of 2 full time jobs.

  • 1 decade ago

    It shouldn't make a difference who bring home the bacon, you are a couple, team, married....yours is mine and mine is yours kind of thing. if it is not that way then you may want to reconsider the relationship. When my wife was pregnant, she was not working and benefits cover only a portion of the maternity leave, I don't think cutting her off of our funds would have been fair...would you? either way she is back at work now and the bacon she brings home is the same as the bacon i bring home... the funds that the FAMILY brings in is there to support the family, Kids, House, Bills and then that order...arguing over finances is the fastest way to me...I've been this one out...the argument usually goes ...well what if i want to buy you a gift ...i don't want you to see what i paid...(Crap) work it out before hand set limits on the amounts that each of you can use of the FAMILIES funds. Just remember that there are times when you or he may want to tear it up and let loose on a night...well make sure that all other priorities are taken care of and agree that either you or he can let loose...its a team effort..don't let money rule your relationship....

    Anyway hope my 2 cents help.

  • 1 decade ago

    I always believe that no matter what the situation...marriage is a union and as such the money should be for both...collectively!!!! Not the "bread winner" is above the other...should that mean the stay at home spouse should make all decisions concerning the house alone since thats where they "work"????

  • 1 decade ago

    Just because one does not work does not mean that they shouldn't have a say about when and where the money gets spent. Marriage is between two people and should be shared as such. How about a joint account where they both can access the money, unless one cannot be trusted to be responsible with the money... that is a different story.

  • 1 decade ago

    Every relationship takes teamwork and compromise. Especailly marriage when it comes to money in this case sharing responsibility goes hand in hand with being together one makes money and they both should agree on how to spend it at least for major purchases( means anything that is at least half a weeks income or more) as far as everyday mondain things like few bucks here and there should not matter unless it is hurting the bank due to the quantity in which it takes place

  • 1 decade ago

    It sounds like the woman works and the man does not. sounds great. If they care for each other enough there woul dn't be a problem. Allowance never. I mean for what?? Personal items should be bought together. One person working means limitted money. Don't blow it on fast food. Its no different than a woman staying home.

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